The Elegant Entrance

This is it...

I'm here, one step ahead of the climax of my story.

My journey, my painful struggles end here.

I can't even hear a single word from the host's mouth but mumbles that slowly fade as I sank on my own thoughts and memories.

Seven years ago ...

My hopes and dreams was being crushed as I tell my family about it.

"A musician? What a joke. There are tons of them in the street out there, and even some of them are homeless. And you want to become one of them?", She shouted her entire disappointment at my face.

I mean, most of parents surely would be disappointed when I took an science degree and say I want to be a musician, right?

NO.

I couldn't accept it.

"W-Well, I'm not aiming at becoming the homeless one. There's plenty of them that are successful, right?"

She lost it.

"Well, yeah there's plenty of them that BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN THEIR ADDICTION TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL !! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND, SON?"

"Because I won't become one with addicts..."

"Of course, of course... OF COURSE NOT. Once you get in their path, you'll just become one of them! I can't trust you to go that way!!!"

I swear to God she stopped to look like my mother, rather than a mad witch that tried to brainwash and eradicate my living ideology.

How did she acquire that kind of mindset?

"WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN'T TRUST ME BECAUSE YOU NEVER TRIED TO! I'M TIRED OF THIS NONSENSE THAT YOU WANT ME TO BE SAFE AND ALL YOU DID WAS SHACKLING ME IN THE BASEMENT OF YOUR FINGERTIPS, UNTIL YOU DIE AND I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO !! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?!"

She stoned.

"If that is all you want then I can't take it. In anyway, this is the time for this little spoiled bird to leave its nest. Good luck trying to stop me"

I thought I hit her on the right place with that ultimatum. But all I got was,

"You son of a b**ch".

Something she never said to me before no matter how angry she was.

...

I had enough.

"Yeah? And you ARE that b**ch", left the house without anything but the clothes that was on my body.

Seven years ago ...

I ended and started a new story of my life. Dumped my everything behind and made my first step. Abandoning my friends and family, I was reborn as a street musician, who was stupid enough to be determined about what's ahead of my adventure.

A temperament kid who won't go back on his words. Such a terrible combination for someone on the beginning of his new life.

That kid could just say anything and stick to them because his prestige was too high to go back against it.

"I can't go backwards", is the only thing I would say to myself literally every night before I close my eyes to sleep.

Realistically, no spoiled kid can left their home and survived like a trained soldier. It was tough, and for some of my kind, this process sadly was the end of their journey. Really really tough. I didn't even know what to do. I just sat in front of a store, raised my hands and looked anyone who passed with a hopeless and pathetic facial expression.

But I had a lot of trust in myself. My pray for luck was answered. That moment only last for a week or two. I found a small Kalimba in a dumpster and until now I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW SUCH AMAZING AND PRECIOUS MUSICAL INSTRUMENT GOT THERE. But I won't ask why since that was a pure destiny.

On a side of a coin, I knew I regret it. I knew I regret to toss everything I had in the trash and taste the bitterness of life. But in the other side, I felt grateful that I was able to go back and return to zero, where every step, every moment, every smile, every tears are my own. They're belong to me.

...

My quality of life raised like a madman. I lived in a hut in the woods. Everyday, I go to the city, pursuing my dreams as a musician. And you don't know how proud I am with that title and showing it like a trophy, putting it right on my forehead so everyone can see this idiot trying to prove himself.

And the feeling when I wake up with that kind of label as my identity, I can't describe how amazing they were. Opening window as a musician, eating breakfast as a musician, brushing teeth as a musician, wearing pants as a musician, you name it. I felt rich even with nothing.

The great sense of accomplishment was something I've never felt before even when I had way more than what's in my pocket at that time.

Even now, that idiot is still an idiot.

But hey, this idiocy brought him here, at the end of his misery. So, jokes on you.

A homeless person who became successful is not a new story to tell, and that's exactly why I didn't and won't tell it to anyone, even though I'm really proud to death that I became one of them. Just let them look at me and read the story themselves.

....

"My own world tour, eh?", I chuckles hoarsely.

I've been imagining this moment my whole life. Not a second it faded from my head. Image that was just became stronger and stronger, and whispers in my ears louder and louder.

I flinched and gasped as the host stated my name.

"Ah, right. This is not the right time to have flashback", I mumbled to myself.

"Damn, why do I have to cry under this mask? It's not like I can take it off and wipe my face right now", I started to get very very relaxed.

"Heh, it would be funny when they see me like this as my first impression", I adjust my tie and put my hat on.

Then I talked to the empty room in the backstage,

"You know what, mother? I think I won't stick to what I was planning and call you out..."

"...I will tell them I got a priceless experience that I can tell to every living person about HOW BAD YOU WRECKED ME, HOW AWFUL MY LIFE AFTERWARDS, HOW PAINFUL TO HOLD ON A BROKEN DREAM, HOW IMPRESSIVE I RECOVERED AND COMING BACK..."

...

I started to cry again

"...and how proud I am to be your child, to carry your name on my shoulder"

...

Man, I really want to see her in the audience seat.

...

I flinched once again when I hear my name is called. And this time, I almost lost my equilibrium.

I laughed at myself.

This is the dignity I was looking for.

And this...

...

is not the time to worry to nothing.

THIS IS THE TIME TO PARTY HARD!

I took a deep breath, clenched my fists and prepared myself to pounce the stage.

I smirked and,

"I think there won't be an elegant entrance"

I won't hold myself back this time.

I smiled in my mask which soon I will threw off and hold my breath.

"plan B..."

"... CHARGE!"