In her footsteps grew little brown mushrooms

The year after my mother disappeared, someone new wandered into our town. It wasn’t unusual to see new people - far from it, the little town was a well-known tourist overnight stop. What was strange is that he was alone and on foot, with no luggage and searching for something.

My eyes lingered on him as I transferred groceries from the trolley into the car. His head turned slowly as he critically scanned the street, hood casting a shadow across his face. Our eyes met for a moment, he raised a hand in greeting, then blinked his strange eyes and turned away.

“Skye, let’s go,” Daisy whined from the back seat.

“Let’s go,” I agreed, closing the car boot and pulling the keys out of my pocket.

The sun was dipping behind the hostel as I pulled into the driveway. The tall forest behind was turning into grey shadows in the receding light. Some evenings, like tonight, it was so quiet in our little corner of New Zealand that it felt like a story which hadn’t started yet. I think that’s why my mother had chosen this spot to settle. As her health deteriorated, somewhere to end her story.

The hostel only had 4 guests tonight. I was happy to see them wandering into our restaurant next door, instead of one of the 3 pubs in town. We had the only Chinese restaurant for a couple of hours, still going with my mother’s menu (a somewhat edited menu, I couldn’t keep up with her huge list of options and cut it down to the few dishes I had mastered). Daisy and I entered behind them, nodding our heads and trying not to let the groceries drag on the floor. I whispered to Robin to take some menus out and was greeted with an eye roll and sigh.

I started dinner preparation while my brother and sister set up the tables and took orders. Onions were sliced, peppers diced and zucchini cubed. Thin strips of pork had to be marinated. Beef steaks seasoned with salt and pepper. The chop chop chop of my knife as I sliced carrots matched my monotonous heartbeat. Hot water ran over my hands as I scrubbed potatoes clean, my fingers tingling and coming alive for a moment. Peeling the potatoes was enough sensory distraction to keep my mind from wandering too far out of my corner of the world.

I found brown mushrooms in Fairy Forest a few days ago. The kind that my mother always managed to find. The forest shared our back fence, and was mostly a polite neighbour. Sometimes we would get lucky and find seasonal flowers in bloom, or spot some little frogs in the creek. Other times the angry wind whistling through the trees at night was a cacophony that kept me awake all night, or the creaking branches had long conversations which gave me a headache. The mushrooms felt like an offering, an apology after a night of heavy rain had stirred every rock and leaf to grate against my nerves. I wondered what to make with them.

Tomorrow, I thought. Maybe tomorrow.

Dinner was simple this evening. I fried the meat and grilled vegetables simultaneously. I slipped into my regular rhythm. It was comforting, to immerse in the mundane.

I took plates of food to the guests with a neutral smile. I filled up their glasses of water. I noticed the rings of condensation on the table, and ignored them. I wished them a happy dinner before heading back to my kitchen. My brother and sister didn’t acknowledge me as I walked past, both of them absorbed in their phones behind the counter. Truth be told, I only stayed in this grey town next to this temperamental forest because of them. I had become their guardian at 19. Running the hostel brought in enough money to keep us going, and the memories of our mother were too precious to seperate from. It would be nice if they helped out a little more though.

I turned back to ask them both to start washing dishes when a shock of silver caught my eye from the dark corner of the restaurant. It had to be the man I had spotted earlier. He had pulled down his hood to reveal his almost-silver hair, matching his distinctive, almost-silver eyes. He sat shrouded in the darkness of the room, looking comfortably enveloped by it. His face was lit only by a candle which flickered under his breath. I wondered who had lit it.

Slowly his eyes roamed across the room until they landed on me. My breath caught in my throat, and I lost control of the regular beat which propelled my life.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. An eyebrow arched. Again, a hand raised in greeting.

I turned and took long steps back into the kitchen.

Did I know him? Surely not, how could you forget someone who looked like that… He surely seemed to recognise me.

I crouched down behind the bench, hiding. The kitchen was still warm. There were dishes to be done, counters to be wiped. But my mind was caught in wild speculation and was no longer satisfied within the confines of my small business.

My body moved robotically as I tied a garbage bag and picked up empty cartons. My feet carried me outside, my lungs inhaled the forest air, my thoughts were tied into knots that I couldn’t find the ends of.

“Hello.” I gasped and spun around, dropping everything in my hands. “Skye.”

The silver-haired man stood before me, leaning against the fence. Fairy Forest was his backdrop, surprisingly calm this evening. Barely a leaf rustled.

“Do I know you?” I stammered. His eyes never left mine. I coughed and tried to gather the courage to ask again.

A sharp snap, wings unfolded behind him. Delicate like stained glass, shimmering in the light of his own aura. Tiny insects flew around him, attracted by his shine to form a halo above his head.

Warmth spread through my body. It felt like someone had dumped hot water over my freezing body, my fingers and toes buzzed. My heart stopped, then kickstarted and beat anxiously, anticipating. Our eyes were still locked.

“Your mother asked me to look after you.”

“…What?” Did she know this person? This figment of my imagination? My knees buckled and I started to sink to the ground.

My skin felt like it was burning where he caught me.

“I really didn’t mean to… shock you like this. I thought… maybe you were expecting me? I thought you knew…” All of a sudden he was nervous, voice getting smaller, his eyes starting to flicker between my face and the ground. “Maybe… we can talk about this tomorrow…”

Within one stroke of his iridescent wings, he lifted off the ground, and in another he was on the other side of the fence.

“Wait!” If he left like that, how could I be sure this fairy of the forest wasn’t a dream, a hallucination, delirium? “Are you… who are you?”

Silenced answered me.

A moment later, his little face peaked over the fence.

“Tomorrow,” he repeated, but this time with a shy smile and an offering. He tipped three brown mushrooms into my outstretched hand, his smile grew a little bigger, his finger brushed mine.

Then he was gone.

Eventually, I found myself back inside. No guests left in the restaurant, my siblings drowsily leaning into each other as they watched a video. The single candle still flickered in the corner.

My hands were clumsy as I tried to straighten the kitchen. This space, previously comforting, now looked dull in my eyes. What was this little life, without the glimmer of a fairy’s wings?

I took the three mushrooms out of my pocket, adding them gently to the others I had collected.

I wondered again what I should do with them.

A problem for tomorrow.

. . .

Some time ago, someone new had wandered into the Forest. It wasn’t unusual to see new people - far from it, the forest attracted all sorts of creatures. What was strange is that she was alone and on foot, with no luggage and searching for something.

I saw her take a deep breath, before she turned and met my eyes.

“This is the end of my road,” she said with a sad smile. Her hands trembled, and I could see the deterioration of disease. “Please… look after my children.” Her shaky hand pointed beyond the forest, and desperate, tired eyes looked at me for acknowledgement.

I nodded, shocked that she could see me, that she knew I was here, that she had come here to find me.

She nodded back, then strode deep into the Forest.

In the footsteps she left, little brown mushrooms grew.