Grandma's Special Warmth

           It has been almost eight years now since our grandma had died due to the complications of her health problems given by her old age. She’s always been there for me and my sister whenever my mom needs to go to work while my dad would look after us as well as my grandma and our small store that sells assorted goods. However, what I really couldn’t forget the most was her signature coconut macaroons which she bakes for us whenever we feel sad, lonely, upset and very down usually right after we got scolded upon by our dear parents. Such a nostalgic memory to look back to.

           This made me suddenly remember such nostalgic memory as I passed by the town bakery one morning. Irresistible aroma that lingers within my nostrils that triggered the memories I had tried burying within as a part of my decision of moving forward in life. My mother even wondered why there were tears in my face when I was just jogging outside.

           As my mind travels back to the times where my grandma would ask my seven years old self to come and help her with baking her signature, coconut macaroons, it would then brighten my not so happy day. She’s just one of the people who could truly understand me and would never ever judge me until she heard my side. If ever it just happens that I did something wrong, she would straightforwardly say it to me and tells me to not ever do it again or it will make her sad.

           One of my officemates at work, Allie, woke me up from my daydream that day and told me that we could now take our lunch break. She even mentioned that her mom had baked us some extra treats from their batch of orders for their baking business. We talk about certain stuff such as what would we do the next weekend or my possible plans for Christmas holiday. She even asked me whether I would just stay here at Minagan town during the holiday or will I travel back to our hometown to be with my family at this very important holiday.

           However, my answer isn’t certain yet since there are still things, I needed to arrange first and unfinished business to settle before I go back home with my family. As we come closer and closer towards the pantry, I could now clearly hear the voices of our other coworkers who’ve been there earlier than I did and Allie being as my friend concerned for my well-being that she goes back to fetch me and even tell me to take a lunch break or else I would have missed it like any other day.

           But I got suddenly halted on my track as the very familiar smell of my grandma’s signature baked coconut macaroons passed through my nose right towards enveloping my whole mind. This takes me back as further as the day she comforted me with it that moment I felt rejected by everyone the time my younger sister had been born and arrived back home along with my tired -looking mom and dad. Allie snapped back at me asking if I was okay since my whole face suddenly turned paler than my already fair-skin.

           Shrugging my head, I smiled at her and answered that nothings wrong so she wouldn’t be worried about me especially she had this tendency to overthink. We walked back towards the pantry as the smell still hangs around the air that surrounds us in that wide pantry. They all greeted us when we got inside and even offered me the foods, they are eating most especially the special baked coconut macaroons that had the same smell as my grandmas yet as I tasted one, my hopes died since it isn’t the same as what I used to know back then.

            That day passed by so quickly and afternoon came where we all go back home after long days of overtime work and stress. As I arrived at home, the craving for the special coconut macaroons of my grandma intensified as the smell of a freshly baked buko pie from my neighbor entered my system. Quickly as I could ever be, ransacked my apartment kitchen for the ingredients I’ll need to recreate the special coconut macaroons that my grandma loves to bake for us back when we were still kids.

           From fresh eggs that was given to me by a friend who owns a poultry farm then a half cup butter, about 400 grams of shredded coconut, one and three-fourth cup of condensed milk and a ½ cup brown sugar; well, everything I need are all here. Though a lot would probably say that what’s so special about it like isn’t just the same as to what I ate earlier or from the bakery downtown, whatsoever, but what they didn’t know is the way my grandma makes and bake it for us is what made it special.

           Before I forgot though, she also added fresh vanilla bean from her backyard farm back then yet there’s no fresh vanilla bean back here, in where I live now, so vanilla extract will probably do. Hmm, how does she do it again before aside from mixing all the ingredients together and baking it in a pre-heated oven to a span of twenty to thirty minutes? Well, should I call my aunt who knows it better than I can?

           Oh no! I certainly forgot that she is currently on labor for her third baby like few hours ago and it’ll never be until tomorrow or the day after tomorrow that she’ll be free to teach me how to do it my grandma’s way. So, I should just rely on my instinct, capability of baking and the memory from back then. Hope I’ll not mess it up since I really wanted to eat it and feel once again that nostalgic comfort and warmth my grandma gave us every time we eat it.

           You can do it self. With that self-motivational speech for me, I then started measuring the ingredients from the shredded coconut to the condensed milk, butter and brown sugar. Geez, no one told me how hard it is to do this since people from the tv shows and even my grandma herself is so good at it that I thought it’s easy as counting one to three. Certainly, I underestimated the hardship bakers do to make such wonderful and mouthwatering treats we enjoy at holidays, special events and even on regular day to day life.

           If I’ll remember it so correctly, my grandma used to separate the dry ingredients from the wet ones so that’s where I’ll focus on first. Measuring 400 grams of shredded coconut and a half cup of brown sugar, thankfully though, my sister who visited me here before had ordered me a few measuring spoons, cup for dry and wet ones, digital scale and even an oven thermometer and timer. You’ll never know when you’ll used it, for me when a nostalgic memory would lead me to crave for it.

           After using a measuring cups for dry ingredients and a digital scale for the shredded coconut and brown sugar, then I’ll proceed to measure the condensed milk and butter. Once it’s done, I would add it in my bowl which I already added the three fresh eggs needed for this recipe. Right then, my grandma would mix the wet ingredients first before adding the dry ones so I’ll probably use a whisk since it’s what I remember that she used before. Whisking the wet ones until they are all mixed together and add in the shredded coconut and brown sugar.

           Few minutes later, my version of grandma’s coconut macaroons is all done. However, I’m quite nervous of how it’ll taste or if it’ll work just like how she did it back then. My oven is all preheated and set so I’ll first put it individually and evenly distribute the batter to the macaroon mold. When done, I slowly but surely put it in the oven and waited for twenty to thirty minutes to bake.

           The sound of the oven timer echoed my place as a sign that it’s already done. A loud thump could be heard within me as I walk back towards the kitchen and gradually opened the oven with a pair of heat resistant and food grade oven gloves. Familiar aroma of the sweet and mouthwatering coconut macaroons had entered my system and as I slowly place the tray of such treats in the counter top then waited for it to cool down.

           As it cools down but not completely though just enough for it to be bearable to eat, I took one and taste it. From the texture, taste and even how it made me feel as it’s being chewed within my mouth, it certainly tastes a bit different with my grandmas as I could remember it. Though it tasted great than store bought coconut macaroons since it is freshly baked and homemade but my grandma’s touch and warmth isn’t there like before.