Happy To Get Away
By Perry Terrell
BOARDING SCHOOL ??? Julia was stunned.
That is what she heard when she walked in the living room while her mother and step dad were talking.
“Who’s going to boarding school, Julia asked.
Her mother was speechless and looking sheepish because, first of all, she did not want to be that far apart from her daughter and, secondly, she had promised Julia that the three of them were going to be a very happy and loving family. She had told her that her step dad, Jasper Joe Hinckley, loved children and they would go on vacations together and do everything a family would do.
Since her mother couldn’t speak, Jasper Joe spoke up.
“Well, Darlin’, me ‘n yo maw was just jawing hyere ‘bout hi to git you one o’ dem good edjewcations. And I thaught if’n you git ova ta dat boadin’ skool, you lible ta luv it dere ‘n cum out smartern dan a tick on a houn’.
All of a sudden, Julia lost it. Her mind blew in a million pieces.
“Hillbillies! Mom, are you really going to sit by and let this Hillbilly send me to boarding school?
“Now, now Honey. Jasper Joe is right. Boarding school is the best place for you to get the best education we can afford.”
“Mom, I know he’s rich and can afford it, but you promised that the three of us would stay together; as a family.
“Shut up, Hillbilly. You need to be in some kind of school, boarding school, tick and hound school or whatever.”
Julia stomped out of the living room. She couldn’t believe just because her mother married for money instead of love that she would have to leave home, leave her familiar school and leave her friends that she had known all of her life.
She knew her mother was going to let that Jasper Joe win and she said to herself that she may as well start packing. School was going to start in a couple of weeks. Then it dawned on her that they probably have everything set up for her already. At least she had two weeks to prepare for her exit strategy.
Julia got busy thinking. She started to call up three of her closest friends. Four heads are better than one. Then she thought about her next door neighbors, Raoul and Jesus on her left and Ray Ray and Bubba on her right.
She invited the four guys out to meet her at the Donut Palace around the corner.
The four guys showed up and was shocked to see each other. The guys arrived before Julia could get there and explain.
“What you doing here, Bubba asked Raoul and Jesus.
“We are waiting on Julia,” said Jesus who was the eldest of the two brothers.
“Well, we waiting on Julia too,” said Ray Ray. “Are you sure she called and told you guys to meet here?”
“Yeah, Bro. She called you guys too?” Raoul asked.
The four guys were straight about Julia calling them to meet her at the Donut Palace. So they all sat down at the same table.
“Is she buying us donuts and drinks,” asked Bubba.
All of them shrugged their shoulders.
Bubba kept talking. “What are we here for? Is she in trouble? You know I can handle some trouble.”
Ray Ray was older than all of the boys and told them to be cool and just wait until Julia arrived.
Fifteen minutes had passed and Mr. Cassidy, the donut shop owner, sauntered over to their table and told them that if they wanted to order something, they would have to go to the counter and place their order.
Just then Julia came rushing in.
“Sorry I’m late guys. I’m buying. Just go get what you want.”
Then she yelled to Mr. Cassidy, “I got this Mr. Cassidy. Give them what they want.
The reason for Julia’s lateness was because she was stealing money from the safe in her mom and Jasper Joe’s bedroom. She had told them that she was going down the street to tell Nina about her going to boarding school. When her mother and Jasper Joe thought she was gone, they decided to cuddle on the sofa. In actuality, Julia yelled that she would be back in about two hours, shut the door, but stayed in the house.
She could hear Jasper Joe sweet talking her mother saying, “you is as keyute as a pigs ear.” Julia rolled her eyes and sneaked into their bedroom. They didn’t know that she knew the combination to the safe. And they didn’t know that she knew he kept a hundred thousand dollars in the safe because she had sneaked in there before and counted it.
Julia robbed that safe really quick and sneaked out to meet the guys.
Four guys eat a lot, but she didn’t care because she had plenty of money. She paid for their abundance of food then began to explain why she had summoned all of them there.
They could barely hear her for chewing so loud, and they kept asking her to repeat herself.
“Stop eating and take the food home with you. I can’t keep repeating myself and I can’t stay here forever.”
The guys wrapped their food, stuffed it back in the bags and became very attentive.
“Hillbilly Hog is forcing my mother to send me to boarding school.”
“Oh no,” said Ray Ray.
“Just listen,” said Julia. “That Hillbilly Paw of mine is rich, oil rich or something like that from Texas. He came here to California to invest in the movie business, and… he keeps lots of cash in the house. I just happen to have the combination to the safe. Here is where you guys come in.”
“Are you going to let them send you to boarding school, Julia?” asked Raoul.
“Oh yeah, I’m going. He embarrasses me anyway. Now my mother is embarrassing me. I may never come back when they are home. I’ll be back, but they won’t know it.”
“I’m going to cut you guys in big time and I don’t want you to screw this up. I chose the four of you because you have never been in trouble and I just happen to know that each of you are smarter than my mom and definitely smarter than that…….. ugh, Hillbilly.
“I will be leaving in two weeks. What I want you guys to do is go to the joke shop in Carmel this weekend and buy some fake joke money. Make sure it is the same size as real money. If they ask you what you want it for, just tell them it’s for games at a party because you are not allowed to use real money because there won’t be any gambling. Buy as much as they will let you have.
“The plan is, you brothers will take turns coming and get me so I can sneak in the house and relieve those whatevers of some of that real cash and replace it with the party cash. I heard them talking that they will never touch it unless there is an emergency. So it will be a long time before they know they have been robbed. And, don’t worry, they will not suspect either of you.”
Two weeks passed and Julia was carted off to boarding school. She had two thousand dollars in her luggage and the fake money was in place. She had also paid the guys five hundred dollars each, so two more thousand was switched out.
The guys were happy and had no reason to get greedy or go against her plan. Besides that hundred thousand dollars would last throughout the school year anyway. And since they were not real criminals, they had no complaints.
Julia was having a great time at boarding school. She was getting a good edjewcation, as her mama’s Hillbilly husband would call it.
Mr. and Mrs. Hillbilly Hinckley made the news where they had produced six movies and six television shows. Their pictures were in the paper. And somebody interviewed them for a magazine article. Julia didn’t care. They were away from home so much, she was as rich as they were.
Actually, Daddy Jasper Joe Hinckley Hillbilly gave her a hefty allowance and thought he was putting that happy smile on her face when they would video chat with her. They were too busy to visit her or bring her home for weekend visits. But she didn’t care.
Julia had bought herself a car, expensive new clothes and had rented herself a plush new apartment.
“My folks are in oil,” she would tell her friends. They didn’t know she was sneaking home with her neighbor friends and cleaning out that Hillbilly safe.
The last time she sneaked in the house, she had to rush out in a hurry because her mom and her Hillbilly husband had come home early. As she ran out the back door, she had left the candle she was using to see how to rob the safe burning and as sit burned down, it started a fire on the dresser where it was perched on top of some papers.
By the time the fire was noticed, it was out of control and the only thing in the bedroom her folks could do was run to the safe and grab the money because it wasn’t a fire proof safe.
Julia was next door at Bubba and Ray Ray’s house peeping through the window. She thought to herself, well this is an emergency, so I hope they have enough cash on hand.