"I am so glad I found you too, mom. I have finally found my long-lost mother again." I smiled.
It was a very long train ride. Longer than usual. But the more time we spent with each other, the more I recollected all the memories I shared with her.
It was like everything was coming back to me. Like I could fill all those fifteen years of missed events into just an hour. I was glad to be back with her.
We did have some rough holes in our mother-daughter relationship. Sometimes, when I was younger, I used to get mad at her for always scolding me. Saying that I couldn't do this, or do that. But now I understand that hearing all those things are the joyous part of childhood.
Most of which I missed.
All those fifteen years, when I was staying in that pesky old rich woman's mansion, I had thought that there was no way I would ever find my mom. That I could ever reconnect with her. I had tried to convince myself that it was time for me to forget about the past, since most of my life, I had spent by myself.
Though the aches were getting larger in my heart. They were forming black holes. Large ones which, if overtook, could swallow my body whole. These large aches, holes, pain in my heart, unbearable pain was the only factor which made me set on this journey to find my parents. Though I never found Rocco or dad, at least I found my mother. That is better than finding no one and living your life all by yourself.
I glance outside again.
I recollect all the terrible memories I shared in that big mansion. They make me feel uncomfortable. Like my stomach was twisted into knots, as if my intestines were large roller coasters, twisting and turning on top of each other.
It was like before, my life was bad and good. Yes, I was living in a rich house, and I could ask her and get anything I wanted. In school, I had the best school supplies, fashionable clothes, and was very smart (because of Aunt Hena's remarkably genius brain), and my private tutors. Everyone thought that my life was like living in a kingdom. That I was treated like a princess, a queen.
But they were wrong.
In fact, my life was a tragedy inside there.
It was like eating a pizza. My life was the beautiful cheese. The amazing, soft and juicy crust. The sauce was evenly distributed, and the toppings were very colorful. You might think, judging it on how it looks, that it will be a delicious and the most flavorful pizza in the world.
But when you bite it, the pizza is stale.
For some, raw.
Others, under cooked.
That was my life. The outside of me was a shell, a beautiful one for that. But when you break the shell open, you see a dirty orb. Covered with rust, dirt, and everything terrible you could ever imagine.
Honestly, in other words, my life until this point was gaudy.
"Mom?" it felt good, again, to utter the word.
"I have something to say."
"What is it?"
"Well, I want you to promise me that whatever happens, you won't leave me. I know that I'm too old to say this, but I don't want my life to replay like that again. I want to be with you. Stay with you. Hug you, and never let you go. Please, when we reach, let's start a new life. Me, and you. I want to reconnect and start a new relationship with you again. That is if you would let me."
For a moment, there was an awkward silence.
You could hear other people's conversations.
The train moving.
The announcer, and everyone.
Soon, though, my mother hugged me tight, and I could feel my shoulder getting wet.
She was crying.
I too hugged her tightly, whispering in her ear very softly, "I will never let you go, mom. Whatever it is, I will be right here with you, in your heart, and right front of you."
After our hug, she started to wipe her tears before anyone noticed.
"Me too, Elanor, me too. You don't know how much I missed you. Though you might have forgotten me, because let's face it, I grew old, tired, and weary. But you, when I saw you, I immediately knew it was you. Yes, you might be much taller, gained some weight, have longer hair, and look more mature, but mothers can identify their daughter. It's our connection, between the heart and soul. I recognized you the moment you entered the train. I remembered hyperventilating, and being flabbergasted that I saw you again." she explained, and each of her words warmed my heart.
This was the feeling I had, every time I was younger.
When I had crawled in bed and had her soft hands brush past my short and unruly hair. When she would sing me lullabies, tell me stories, and whisper to me that everything was going to be alright.
I had felt this special love and connection to her when she stroked my hair like that.
It made my heart smile a little, and held her hand tightly, as I leaned on her shoulder.
Her warm eyes were fixed on me.
"So, unlike me, you had never lost hope? Even after all you were going through?" I asked her, looking sorrowful.
"I don't know. On one hand, I felt that I lost everyone in my life. I lost my husband, and you. But on the other, it was telling me to not give up, to continue looking for you."
"I see," I closed my eyes, imagining her looking distressed. "But, I'm glad we're here together again, and look! We are almost here, mom. Let's leap forward and start a new, and better life."
"Yes, we will, Elanor."