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Friendship Funny

The Robin

Lilly and Randy were walking home from school talking like they did every day, two carefree kids without any real worries.  The sky was blue, the sun was shining and it was just a grand day. She stopped and motioned him to remain quiet.

“Look at the robin over there.”

“So what?”

“So what, you clump head, that is the first sign of spring.”

Randy watched the robin hop about looking for food from the ground that was still hard and mostly free of snow. The winter had been very tough on everyone.

“I wish I had something to give the little bird. It looks so hungry.”

“Hang on, I didn’t eat all of my sandwich today.”

“Why not?”

“My sister made the lunches last night because it was her turn and she put bologna oozing with mustard in my sandwich.”

“That is so gross. I hate bologna and mustard alone putting them together is even worse.”

“Tell me about it. I am starving right now.”

“Why did she do that anyway?”

“I dunno.” But, he had a smirk on his face.

“What did you do to your older sister?”

“I swear I didn’t do anything.”

Randy had his backpack open and pulled out the whole sandwich. He started to break it up in small pieces trying not to get mustard on his fingers.  The robin didn’t see the bread at first and then hopped over. It looked at the two humans with small, innocent eyes and then proceeded to stab a piece of bread before flying off.

“Did you read her diary again?”

“No, honest, I didn’t do that.” He started to laugh.

“You did something worse to her?”

“I didn’t do anything that bad to her.”

“So you did something to her?”

He looked at his best friend and really started to laugh hard. They were stopped and had lost track of the robin that had stolen another piece of bread.

“Okay, Randy, what did you do to your poor older sister?”

“Poor older sister?  Whose side are you on?”

“Depending on what you did to her, I am not sure.”

“Well, last Saturday night, while she was talking to mom, I slipped into her room and slid a small speaker under her bed. Then, later on, when I knew she was asleep, that is when the fun started.”

“You are evil.”

“I started with groaning and moaning noises.  Then there were ghosts sounds and then footsteps like they were coming down the hallway into her room.”

The boy was laughing so hard at this point, he was in stitches, while his friend stood there shaking her head. She did not look very impressed.

“You are completely diabolical.”

“Anyway, she eventually screamed really loud and was so terrified that she wet the bed.”

His knees buckled and he almost fell down on the pavement. He was so weak with laughter.

The robin had stolen another piece of bread.

“That is not funny, Randy.”

But, he was nodding his head yes that it was funny.

“So my mother came running and burst into the room. I was in bed laughing so hard that I almost wet my favourite pyjamas. Anyway, she told my mother that there were voices and footsteps and mom didn’t believe her.”

“You deserve the worst sandwich in the world.”

“And, after my mother left, things quieted down. So, I waited about half an hour and then started up with really evil laughter.  She screamed again and mom came running again.”

“I can’t believe I hang out with you.”

“So she told my mother that there was someone in the house a homicidal maniac or some really crazy person. ‘You have to call the police, mother. Right now or we are all going to die’”

“And you laughed even harder right?”

“You know it, of course I did. So, she had changed into dry pyjamas and went to my mom and dad’s bedroom and slept on the floor. The next day, when nobody was looking, I retrieved the tiny speaker for future use.”

“If you ever pull a stunt like that on me, I am going to hurt you so bad.”

“Relax, I would never do that to you. You aren’t always ratting me out like she is. That stupid sister of mine gets me in trouble like ten times a day.  It was really cool revenge.”

Lilly shook her head and turned towards the bread and it was all gone.

“Hey, look, the robin ate all of the bread. That is so nice.”

“Good for the bird,” said Randy.  “I am going to make my own sandwich tonight so tomorrow I won’t be so hungry.”

The kept walking soaking up the warmth and that peaceful, easy feeling that announced summer was just around the corner. The two lived next to each other and were neighbours and best friends. Sometimes, they had arguments and were mad at each other, but it didn’t last for very long.

They kept walking.

“That little robin sure was hungry.  Seeing it is the first and most important sign of spring.”

“We could still see snow.”

“Ugh, don’t curse like that.”

He laughed.

“I can’t believe we have so much homework to do on this beautiful day.”

“I know, Mrs. Page was really upset with us today.”

“She sure was and it will take most of the evening to get this done. I was hoping that we could go out and do something fun like fly a kite or toss the Frisbee around.”

“That would be great. We could also go fishing or for a canoe ride.”

“That will have to wait.”

They were almost home.

“By the way, how did your sister figure out that it was you who was making all of those weird noises?”

“She didn’t.  The twit put the bologna smothered with mustard sandwich in my lunch for something else I did.”

“You are impossible.”

They stood at the edge of her driveway.

“Do you want to do the homework like we usually do?”

“Okay, but you are doing the math. I hate algebra.”

“Fine, you can do the English stuff because I am not too keen on it.”

“That is fine.  I can’t believe we saw a robin today.  It is the perfect sign of spring.”

“It is. I am glad that the bird made you happy.”

“It did. But, I wish I could go fly a kite or toss a Frisbee around.”

“We’ll get plenty of chances because school will be over in like two months and a bit.”

“You’re right. Okay, give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be right over.”

“Okay. See you in a few minutes.”

They walked into each other’s house as the robin flew by a second later content with a full belly.

March 26, 2021 20:40

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