Adventure Fantasy Funny

Early in 2017, I was touring Mexico enjoying everything a person could enjoy on a trip, having fun snorkeling and swimming.  I had just finished going to the Akumal Monkey Sanctuary and was heading back to my hotel. On the way there, I passed by a barbed wire fence with a lot of land and 1 single cow off in the distance. I didn't think much about it but as I came closer, I heard someone say “excuse me, I wonder if I might ask a favor”. I looked at the cow and screamed and thought how is this ugly yet floppy eared cow talking to me?

A couple minutes later I calmed down and started asking questions to this cow and the cow answered me and told me his backstory. He told me that he was a male cow, a bull, living with his wife in Wisconsin. They were in the field enjoying their day, minding their own business, when hunters tried to capture him and his wife. He took the bait and let his wife run away but they tranquilized him and he passed out and ended up here. I said that's horrible and he asked if he could still ask the favor from me. I said ok and he then asked if I could help him escape from here and help him get back home to his meadow in Wisconsin. I answered, ``Do you know where we are?”.  The cow said “no” and then I told him “we’re in Mexico and that it’s very far away from Wisconsin” but I decided to help the cow.

 I ran back to my hotel and canceled the rest of my trip. I then told the hotel management that my wife is stuck in some wires and asked for wire cutters. Once I got back to the cow, and cut him out, he thanked me and we started our trek to Wisconsin. 

On our first couple of days we were fine because I had enough pesos for a couple of weeks. During that time I had a lot of time to talk to the cow and learned that he was very funny and smart. The cow talked and asked me a lot of questions like “why I was in Mexico” and “why I'm not working” and a couple of other things. Then I asked the cow how he could talk and the cow said he can talk because he was worked on and given multiple different serums. Once we finished talking about that, we heard people talking in Spanish. We couldn't understand them, but we saw that they were the border patrol and it was our key to the USA. 

I couldn't just walk up there with a talking cow next to me or they'd go crazy, so we needed to come up with something to get the cow through. I had the idea that the cow could walk up there looking like a horse, but the cow had a better idea. He decided that we should use the wire cutters that were in my bag and walk around to the fence part. First we had to see if the fence was electric, so I touched it. Luckily it was not electric and it was just barbed wire at the top so nobody would climb over it. Once we had cut through the fence we made it to the USA which meant that we would start seeing a lot more grass later on in the journey.

 We had nowhere to sleep so we had to make a shelter and fire during the first couple of nights. It was very scary out in the middle of nowhere. All I could think about was getting bitten by something poisonous. We had finally made it to Texas and I was feeling very tired and didn't want the cow to be alone on this adventure. He wouldn't make it alone. After we made it through the first night in Texas, we continued our trek and we made our way to Brownsville, Texas.

 With my final bit of money, I bought some food for me and some oats for him. We were both hungry but I knew that soon we would get out of this dessert and find some grass for him to stock up on. We're half way through Texas and we start seeing some grass. Once the cow saw that, he started chewing like crazy, eating all of the grass he could find. But something good and bad happened, we ran into a river. The good thing about this was I could try and fish, but the bad thing is that we are going to have to cross it. I found some string on the ground and also found an aluminum can and ripped a piece of it off and put it on the string. I then casted it into the water hoping that I would get something for me. 

While I was fishing the cow decided to eat as much grass as he could. The cow was stuffed with all the food he had eaten but I had not caught any fish at all so I was a little bit hungry. The cow heard me say we would have to cross the river and told me no we cant cross it I said there is no way around it he then sighed and said ok we can cross it but we need to go to the point that has the lightest current. I decided to say ok and agreed with him and then we walked for about an hour to the place that has the lightest current. Once we found it we got in and started swimming slowly so we wouldn't waste our energy. 

Once we made it to the middle of the river we were so tired and just wanted to get to the other side. But then the cow said he felt something messing with his feet. I dove under the water quickly and found out it was a salmon and it was just trying to bite the grass from off of his feet. The cow was freaking out saying i'm going to die i'm going to die. I tried to tell the cow that it was just a salmon but he wouldn't listen. So I did the only thing that was logical in my mind. I slapped the cow in the face to get it out of shock. It worked and I told him for the final time that it was just a salmon. He looked at me and just sighed and said I just wasted all my energy on that. I said yes and he started crying. 

But then I yelled at him that we have got to go or we're going to die. He sucked it up and we continued crossing to the other side. As we were coming up at the end the cow freaked out and swam as fast as he could which wasn't that much because he was very tired. So I followed close behind him and we made it to dry land. I hugged the cow and told him I am going to get you home. He said in this weak voice thank you. I told him we should probably get to a place where we could set up a fire and warmth. But when I looked ahead of me all I saw was SAND. I didn't tell the cow because at the exact spot we were at there was grass and trees. I told the cow to rest and eat and he said ok.

 I thought to myself I should probably get some wood and water for a fire and for hydration. I found some bark and sticks to place in the fire. I went back to camp and started the fire and thought to myself to try and fish. I looked in my bag to grab the fishing can. But realized that my wire cutters were gone. I realized as I was freaking out that we don't need them anymore. As I stopped freaking out and went back to my backpack and right away found the string and can. I started fishing right before night hit and within 30 minutes of fishing it went dark and I gave up. I went to sleep thinking about how this cow will see his family again. I woke up and realized that the sun was already up and the cow was gone. I stood up and saw he was drinking water from the river. I yelled his name and said we should continue the journey. He said alright and he started walking back to me. We continued walking straight into the dessert once again.

 I was so weak from hunger and was hallucinating. I thought I saw a road with a car driving by. I told the cow and he saw it too. I also realized that the road switches the way we need it to. We kept walking closer and closer and closer till we got right next to the road. I then saw a miracle there was a big truck stopped with a guy sleeping in the rig. The cow said we should hop in secretly while he is asleep. I then said if we were to, we need to find out where the truck is going. I ran up to the truck and told the cow to stay behind for a moment. I looked in the window of the truck and saw a little piece of paper saying they are headed to missouri. I almost yelled saying woo hoo but realized that I had to stay quiet. I told the cow that the coast was clear and that it is headed in the direction of where we need to go.

 I asked the cow for help with lifting the hatch and he did. As it opened I realized what was inside. It was coke a cola all over. There was more than enough room for both of us though. We shut the container and then heard the sound of a truck starting. I told the cow that if the truck doesn't stop we’ll be in Missouri in about 1 to 2 days. I decided to have a chat with him and we did. I asked him why him and his wife didn't run. He answered me saying that he did try to run with his wife but as he looked back to see if they were gone he realized they had guns. He said they didn't see her yet, just me. So he took the bait trying to have her get away to safety. My jaw dropped and I said to the cow it's ok everything will be ok. He looked at me and then put his head down on the metal ground.

I wanted the cow to be able to be happy. So I said to the cow you know how you asked me why i'm not working. He said yes and I said I got fired from my job after this other guy took my place. I thought of giving up and living the rest of my life in mexico but then I found you. I realized that there is more to life than just this one job. The cow looked at me and said everything will be ok for you to. Then he asked where I was originally from. I answered and said I was from california and I worked at a place in los angeles. The cow said that he knew where that was and that you just need to forget about the past and start thinking about the future. I thought and said to the cow wow you are a really good therapist and are very kind. All the cow did was smile and said I am very tired so I am going to sleep and try and get some shut eye. I said to the cow copy that and decided that I should also try to get some sleep before something else happens that is bad. So I shut my eyes and went to sleep once again.


March 19, 2021 16:28

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