We Were There Once (Pt 2)

Submitted into Contest #97 in response to: Start your story with an unexpected knock on a window.... view prompt

21 comments

Friendship

Please read my comment below to know the backstory of this story. Enjoy!


The light puncturing through the clouds seemed to be radiating through the window, illuminating my room with a heavenly glow. This light seemed to peek through the clouds, greeting me to the start of my day.


Knock.

Knock knock.


These series of knocks shattered my transfixed moment. As I stumbled out of my bed to dress myself, I yawned with a sense of wonder. The postman, I thought, or maybe a nei-


Knock knock.


Rolling my eyes in annoyance, I shouted: "I'm coming, just give me a minute!" Jeez, people these days can't be patient, I thought.


After that, the silence maintained until I returned to the door.


"Sorry for the wait, I just woke u-" I stopped mid-sentence, in a state of shock.


The woman that stood before me was... different. A tight dress, black heels, sharp red lipstick. If I didn't see all those things, I would almost have thought she was-


"Chloe," she smiled brilliantly, "remember me?"


I blinked, composing myself.


"Oh, hi Chloe!" I stuttered. "Um, do you, like, wanna come in or something?"


As I ushered her in, I was screaming in my mind. Why is she here? Where's the goofy, modest Chloe gone? I shouted in my head.


"Uh, so, do you want a coffee or something?" I nervously asked.


"I don't drink coffee anymore." She had this uptight smile threading across her face, but I was uncertain as to why. "Do you have tea?"


She QUIT COFFEE?! She used to have one every day...


"Um, lemme see if I have any..." I replied, shuffling into my kitchen.


As I was searching for the tea, I kept turning around to glance at Chloe. She had whipped out her iPhone 12 Pro and was scrolling through Instagram. Her heeled legs were propped on top of each other, and she subconsciously swung her legs in a... fashionable manner.


"Did you find any?" she inquired, politely, stealing a quick look at me.


"Oh! Um, no, I don't think I have any, sorry..." I muttered.


"Yeah, that's totally fine!" She smiled distantly.


As I sat down, the time that was spent staring at each other felt like forever. The continuous ticking of the clock and the uncomfortable shuffling made it even harder.


"So!"


"So."


I took a deep breath.


"I guess your relationship with him turned out pretty well, huh."


She flicked her eyes away, obviously hiding something. She had never been good at keeping secrets.


"No, he... left me for someone else." She grimaced.


Told you so... I scolded her in my thoughts. But I couldn't bring myself to actually say that. Not out of kindness, but out of the fact that it would feel like we were friends again. That, I told myself, would never happen.


"Did you end up becoming a paediatrician then?" I asked politely as I eyed her crisp, ironed clothes, juxtaposing the bubbly personality she used to have.


Her eyes looked up for a split second, as if she thought I had forgotten about her life-long dream.


"Pfft, I gave up on that ages ago." She brushed the question off with a pretentious cooled face. "If I have someone else to support me, there's nothing to worry about"


That made me raise my eyebrows in surprise, asking her to explain without having to say a word.


"FiancΓ©. Getting married in 3 months." She smiled once again, but it had a lace of sadness within it. She flashed her 5-carat ring. It was beautiful, but... not HER.


"Actually, that's why I came here today!" She passed me a frilled invitation card, which was embedded with big, bold letters:


Save the Date: Carlos George Hawkings and Chloe Constantine


"You put your middle name on there? I thought you hated it." I raised my eyebrows.


"Well! What can you do." she replied tightly. "Carlos insisted."


It was then that I realised that she was inviting me to her wedding. It just hadn't occurred to me that I would have seen her again, let alone be invited to her wedding.


"Look, I know things are different, Becca," she paused, blinking back her tears, "but you were my closest friend for most of my life, I had to invite you."


These words hit me like a wave on the beach on a summer's day.


I had thought that I had accepted not being her friend anymore.


I had thought that I wouldn't want her back in my life.


But now, as I looked at her vulnerable face hiding all of her troubles and fears...


I realised I had thought wrong.


Tears rolling down our cheeks, I reached over to hug the girl in front of me, taking off her invisible mask. Turning back time, I remembered.


Remembered that we were there once...


And we could be again.

June 06, 2021 06:26

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

21 comments

Hello Doki... this was a really sweet and simple story and I'm glad the story gets a slightly happy end :) Chloe really seems to have a change of heart and seems to be a pretty nice person and I like how the character developed. "Told you so... I scolded her in my thoughts." I liked this part! The dialogue in your story was continuous and it flowed with ease which is great! I wish I could do that! It sounds realistic and not over-the-top! SO I really loved that... and the character descriptions were great! Um... I just wanted to say... f...

Reply

𝔻okenai *
01:05 Jun 07, 2021

Hey SS, Thank you so much for the tips and compliments about the text! I really appreciate it. And about the comment in the previous story... Thanks for clearing it up a bit because I was wondering that for a while. But yeah! No matter who it is, I hope that you guys can find a way so you both can be happy about the way you either left your friendship or continued your friendship. Bye! πŸ•ŠDoki

Reply

:) You are welcome! Haha! No worries! I hope... I hope we can be friends again in the future...

Reply

𝔻okenai *
01:20 Jun 07, 2021

I hope that for you too!

Reply

𝔻okenai *
01:51 Jun 07, 2021

I think everyone does :P

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
𝔻okenai *
06:31 Jun 06, 2021

Hi everybody!! This is sort of a sequel to We Were There Once because I liked the concept of the story. It's about what happened after the first story. Also, the reason this doesn't fit into the prompt is that I read 'window' as 'door' (don't ask how) and I had almost finished the story when I realised :P Signing off for now! πŸ•ŠDoki

Reply

You can make Chloe knock on the window as she peeks inside then waits at the door :)

Reply

𝔻okenai *
01:14 Jun 07, 2021

Ok, thanks for the idea!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
𝔻okenai *
06:29 Jun 24, 2021

Well a hullo to you too :P

Reply

Ima respond twenty days later cuz HEHEHE- HULLOOOOO HRU

Reply

𝔻okenai *
07:23 Jul 08, 2021

HULLO

Reply

𝔻okenai *
01:52 Jul 19, 2021

lol i didn't realise that hru meant how are u- im GREAT, thx!! hbu??

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

HEYEYEYEYEYeyeyyeey IM BORED HEP

Reply

𝔻okenai *
07:40 Jun 08, 2021

AAAAAA im a day late but HEYEYEYEYEYYEYEY to you too

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Hey Doki!! Yay a part two!! I'm so happy you made one, the last one was really good! I love the tension that you've built up in the story, it's really nice! I like that it was left on a happy note but you don't completely know how it turned out! Something I struggle with is making the dialogue flow nicely but I think you mastered that, so good job :) Just a few notes: - In the sentence 'she enquired, politely, steaing a quick look at me.', enquired should be inquired and steaing should be stealing (a simple typo) - split second doesn't ...

Reply

𝔻okenai *
01:16 Jun 07, 2021

Ok, thanks for the feedback! I'll fix it

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply