Trust you

“It doesn’t count if you are already planning your defeat’’

‘’It’s not easy mum!! Why don’t you guys understand that’’ I shouted at the beautiful, petite, small-framed innocent women standing there with tears rolling down her beautiful emerald green eyes. My mother.

‘’I know it’s not! But it will be if you try’’ she sighed sitting on the chair beside her.

‘’try?’’ I let out a humorous laugh, ‘’try? You mean try saving my dad’s life and what happens if I fail? Huh! I lose him forever’’ I spat as tears were continuously rolling down from my eyes.

‘’you cannot lose hope, you can do it. I trust you, your dad trusts you’’

‘’but I don’t trust myself’’ I whispered.

‘’if you don’t trust yourself with your father, how can you trust someone else with your father’s life?” she spat with venom in her voice.

‘’You don’t understand momma, I will lose myself if I cannot save him, I cannot live with the fact that he died on my hands’’ I whispered and closed my eyes.

‘’He will not die, baby, you will save him. And you know how much of a stubborn man he is, he won’t agree for the operation unless it’s you.’’ She replied soothingly, rubbing my back.

‘’I am so scared, momma’’ I said and covered my face in her chest, both of us hugging each other and crying for both of our first love.

‘’I am scared too, baby. I am scared too’’

            -----------

‘’Oh come on Princess, talk to me!!’’ the grey-haired man wearing the light blue hospital dress exclaimed. My dad. One look in his dark grey eyes in enough to break my exterior.

‘’Dr. Vincent, he’s not taking his medicines’’ the nurse sighed.

‘’Force him Lara that’s what you are here for!’’ I yelled at the decent nurse in front of me. Rubbing my forehead, I added, ‘’I am so sorry Lara, I didn’t mean it, it's..’ I sigh

‘’I understand doctor, it's fine’’ she replied with a genuine smile, making me feel more guilty for my behavior.

‘’You go, I am going to feed him the medicine’’ I tell her taking the meds from her sending her a small apologetic smile which she returns.

‘’Princess-‘’

‘’Why aren’t you taking the meds?” I asked not looking at him.

‘’It wasn’t you, who was feeding me the meds’’ he grumbled.

I handed him the medicines along with the glass of water in my hands, avoiding eye contact.

‘’Princess’’

‘’Princess’’

‘’ My little baby’’

‘’ My honey duke’’

‘’ My little princess’’

‘’ My little lioness’’

‘’My-‘’

‘’What!’’ I asked with a small smile playing on my lips.

‘’There it is! There’s the beautiful smile of my Princess, who was covering it with her grumpy ugly face’’ he mocks.

I fake gasp, ‘’It’s not ugly!’’ I huff and cross my hands over my chest.

‘’I know it’s not princess’’ he says pulling me towards him by my arms.

I put my head in the chest and he sighs hugging me tightly. We don’t talk, we just savor this precious golden moment.

‘’Why are you so stubborn?’’ he asks breaking the silence.

‘’Got your genes, I guess’’ I shrugged and he lets out his beautiful laugh. A laugh that is contagious, a laugh that now brought tears to my eyes.

‘’Hey,’’ he calls softly wiping my eyes.

‘’Why can’t you do the operation with another doctor dad? Why do you have to be so stubborn?’’

‘’I don’t trust my life with some stranger that isn’t my daughter’’

‘’What if I fail to save you?’’ I asked looking directly at his grey orbs.

‘’Then I would peacefully die.’’ He says softly and I roll my eyes.

‘’ Makes me feel so good’’ I replied sarcastically and he chuckles.

‘’What I mean is, if I die, I will die in your hands and if I live, I will live because of your hands.’’

‘’You are the most stubborn man on earth’’ I mumble and hug him tightly. He laughs and hugs me more tightly.

‘’Dr. Vincent-‘’ a familiar voice calls, ‘’Ah- I will come later’’ and starts heading towards the door.

‘’Kyle wait’’ I call out and dad raises an eyebrow, ‘’I mean Dr. Johnson wait’’ I blush as he turns around with a smirk.

‘’I can come later, Dr. Vincent’’ Kyle said with a sly smirk

‘’No, it’s fine what did you need?’’ I asked raising an eyebrow acting very professional, very unlike us.

‘’I came upon checking Mr. Vincent’s lungs’’ he replied taking steps.

‘’Oh I see, you can check’’ I say and motion him towards dad. I rub both my sweaty hands on my apron. Why was I so nervous? Wait, I know because my dad doesn’t know my boyfriend is his pulmonologist.

‘’Do you have a crush on my daughter?’’ dad asks Kyle with a glare, whose eyes in return widen along with mine. Spoke too soon.

‘’Dad!’’ I huff in annoyance.

‘’ Well?’’ dad asks, raising his eyes.

‘’ Umm...-‘’ Kyle stutters and looks at me with a pleading look. I return him a fake smile.

‘’you see Mr. Vincent-‘’ he starts but I cut him off.

‘’I am so sorry Dr. Johnson for my father’s behavior, why don’t you check your other patients, I will keep an eye on this insane one’’ I reply and glare at my father who in return grumbles something like.

‘’I knew she was dating him’’

Kyle nears the door but stops on his tracks and turns around with a smirk, I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

‘’Get well soon Mr. Vincent, I need to take your permission to ask for your daughter’s hand’’ he says and I furiously blush, finding my shoes very interesting at that moment, with a wink in my direction he leaves the room, not far enough to listen to my dad shouting,

‘’it’s a no!’’

‘’I will make it a yes’’ he shouts.

‘’heck you will’’ dad grumbles and glares at me.

‘’What?’’ I ask innocently.                                                                          

‘’Why don’t I know you are dating some young, handsome doctor?’’

‘’Who is dating a young handsome doctor?!!’’ my mother exclaims from the door.

‘’here it comes’’ I mumble and sigh.

-------

Wearing my usual blue apron and tying my hair into a bun I wear the blue head mask and wear the gloves while leaving the dressing room.

Today is my life’s most exam important exam, if I fail today, I will fail in my life.

I come across the man sitting in the wheelchair who was looking around and grinned when he saw me. Mum kissed him one last time along with her thousand kisses.

‘’ I swear, if I knew you would kiss me that much, I would operate myself every now and then’’ dad says with a grin as mum shoves his shoulder playfully.

‘’ All the best’’ she whispers to both of us, I nod and dad sends her a small smile. I can see his eyes were glistening as well, but he didn’t show us.

‘’If it makes you feel any better, I know you I am going live’’ he says softly to me. And I nod, without any emotion.

He sighs and lays on the bed, as nurses and Kyle entered the Operation theatre. Before the anesthesiologist could inject the anesthesia, I stopped him.

‘’Five minutes’’ he sent me a small smile,

‘’sure,’’ he replied and moved aside.

I neared my father’s bed where he was still looking at me with a cheeky smile.

‘’I knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid my charms for long’’ he said and I rolled my eyes.

Kissing his forehead, I whispered, ‘’I love you, stay beside me’’ as a drop of tear falls from my eyes.

‘’I am always here’’ he says pointing in my heart, ‘’stop imagining it’s me, think it as your another case, yeah?’’ he says wiping my eyes.

‘’If today somehow I manage to lose my life, never I repeat never think at it was because of you, I want you to love yourself and know that you are the world’s best doctor. You have no idea how proud of you I am today’’ he says kissing my forehead.

‘’But I know, it’s not my time yet so start, chop-chop’’ he says and I chuckle wiping my eyes I back off but hear him whisper, ‘’I love you both’’

I motion the anesthesiologist to inject the anesthesia, I stand there and after five minutes I see my father’s sleeping figure. Kyle holds me from the back and whispers,

‘’I know you can do it, you are stronger than you know’’ I nod and I take steps towards the operating bed. My dad’s bare chest in front of me. After muttering some prayers I hold the scalpel.

My hands started shivering as it neared dad’s chest. My hands started shaking when the scalpel was about to touch dad’s chest. The scalpel fell from my shaking hands, the sound echoed loudly as the room was pin-drop silent. The only source of the sound was my heavy breathing. With a last look at my dad, I left the OT.

I don’t know which room entered, I don’t know how long I was sobbing and hugging my chest. Two soft arms held me, I knew who it was. Just the smell of jasmine was enough to let me know that it was the strongest woman on earth, my mum.

‘’Shh,’’ she says softly wiping my eyes.

‘’ I cannot do it’’ I whispered as tears were vigorously falling from my eyes.

‘’It’s just your mindset-‘’ I cut her off,

‘’Not just my mindset momma, I couldn’t even hold the scalpel properly, how do you expect me to do the whole surgery?’’ I exclaim.

‘’What did Winston Churchill say?’’ she asks,

‘’I don’t know’’

‘’he said,

Success is not final,

Failure is not fatal,

It is the courage to continue,

That counts.’’ She said with a sad smile and added,

‘’everyone is given a common superpower, that is love. To be a champ you have to believe in yourself. Can you really trust someone else with your father’s life?’’ the last sentence stings like a stab in my heart.

Can I really trust someone else with my father’s life??

Everything swirled in my mind,

‘’if I die, I will die in your hands and if I live, I will live because of your hands.’’

‘’what if I fail to save you,’’

‘’but I don’t trust myself,’’

‘’if you don’t trust yourself with your father, how can you trust someone else with your father’s life?’’

’I am always here’’

‘’You have no idea how proud of you I am today’’

‘’I know you can do it, you are stronger than you know’’

I can do it, I thought. I tightly hugged my mum and whispered, ‘’I really needed to hear that’’ she tightly hugged me back and replied, ‘’ I know now go and bring our man back’’

I shoot her a small smile one last time before heading towards the OT. I met with a bunch of people with shock, sympathy, and pride displaying over their facial expressions when I entered the OT.

''Let's start’’ I say breaking the silence, but not a single person moves from their position.

‘’ Didn’t anyone hear? Dr. Vincent wants to start the operation!’’ Kyle hollers and everyone starts rushing. With one last glance at Kyle who had a look of admiration, pride, and love on his features, I started my work. Not for a second, I let the thought of my dad being the patient cross my mind.

I smoothly opened my father’s chest with the scalpel and started doing my work.

After hours, the operation was done I stitched my patient's chest and everyone sighed in content. Though the operation was successful it was filled with tension and nervousness, I needed to wipe my forehead that coated with sweat at least 20 times.

There was still a chance of him not waking up and going into the coma, but right now nothing was on my hands, he needed to fight the five crucial hours and come back to us.

I and Kyle left the operation theater together as they were shifting Dad in the ICU. Mum jumped and hugged me tightly,

‘’you did it’’ she whispered.

‘’it’s not over’’ I whispered quietly

‘’What?’’ she asked as confusion took over her beautiful face.

‘’He needs to wake up in five hours if he doesn’t-‘’ Kyle cuts me off,

‘’he will’’ he assured mum. But I knew, now it all depended on him right now.

‘’You can see him in the ICU, Mrs. Vincent though he will be sleeping’’

‘’sure Honey and please call me Ella, you seem to be close to my daughter’’ she sends him a cheeky smile, and turns towards me,

‘’you must be tired, go home’’ she says softly.

‘’no’’ I shake my head ‘’I am staying tonight’’ before she could disagree,

‘’Could you please drop her home?’’ I asked turning towards Kyle who in return nods.

‘’No baby-‘’ Kyle cuts off

‘’it's fine Ella, I will be there too. I will make sure she’s alright’’ he says nodding towards me’’

‘’No-‘’

‘’I am staying’’ he gives me a look saying no room for argument and I sigh. Why are all the men in my life so stubborn?

After mum and Kyle leave, I make my make towards the ICU. I check all the patients and head towards my father. A lot of wires were attached to him, oxygen mask, IVs, and many more. He looked so delicate and fragile. Kissing his forehead pulling a chair, I sat near him and soon drifted towards darkness.

I felt a sudden jerk on my hands, my whole body sore, my neck and back were excruciatingly paining. Suddenly everything played in my mind. The surgery, I jerked and opened my eyes only to meet a similar pair of grey eyes.

‘’Hey Princess’’