The Secret Organisation { Part 3 }

Submitted into Contest #57 in response to: Write a story about someone breaking a long family tradition.... view prompt

67 comments

Mystery Thriller

When the audition got over, Mr. Bond along with Amogh went around the headquarters. 

They started from the ground floor. As the headquarters was underground so, the ground floor was deep inside the ground. 

When they reached the ground floor, there were several rooms. Some rooms were used for designing cars and bikes. The floor dealt with making hi-tec cars and bikes.

"I have a car, which was made by them. There were many unique features," said Mr. Bond.

"Can you tell some features?"

"Ok, There were many amazing features. The features were it was bulletproof, It had a remote from which it opened. The enemies who tried to open the car without the remote, they got an electric shock. It can be driven by the remote but it broke in my last mission."

"Oh, so would take a new car or a bike for our next mission."

"I would take a car and the bikes that are being made are for you."

"Can you tell the features of the bike?"

"I don't know as I haven't ridden on it. You can ask the designer who's in room no. 07."

"Ok, I will go know. Are you coming?"

"Yes, you are new so, I need to tell you every information about MI6."

Both the person goes to the designer.

"Hello! Mr. Robinson" exclaimed Mr. Bond.

"Who is Robinson?" 

"Robinson is the designer. So, ask your all doubts regarding the bike."

"Mr. Robinson, what are the features of the bike?"

"It has fewer features than the car but it's good for you. Some of the features are that it has metal tyre, it has many weapons, etc.

Then they go to the next floor where the smartwatch is manufactured.

When they reached there, they straight went to the watch designer.

"What's the use of the watch?"

"The watch is very useful. It's better than the car or the bike when we don't have it," answered Mr. Robinson.

"Mr. Robinson please tell the features of the watch."

"Yes, there are many features of the watch. It has a laser gun that can melt everything in word, it can be used as a bomb, etc. We are thinking to add more things. So, when the watch would be ready, please see the new features that we added."

Then they moved towards the next floor.

The next floor was all about other instruments that are used in the mission. 

The floor made hi-tech guns, tracking systems, and other instruments.

When they reached the floor, Amogh's mind was filled with questions.

"Would, I get a gun?"

"Yes, you will get it."

"Wow! I am excited to get my gun."

"To get your gun, first we will insert a tracker in your body."

"Why do you want to insert a tracker in my body?"

"For your safety. If you are lost somewhere we can come there and help you."

"Ok, I am ready to insert tracker in my body."

Amogh inserted tracker in his body.

They both went to all the floors and Mr. Bond told the history of MI6.

The days past by.

Amogh didn't come back to his home for a week. So, his parents were worried. 

After a day, an agent came to their house and delivered a letter. The letter was written by Amogh. In the letter, Amogh mentioned that he is a part of a secret organization known as MI6. So, he would never return home. He also mentioned that if you want to talk to me, please send a letter through the agent who bought the letter. Then I will come to your house with an agent of MI6.

Amogh's parents sent a letter to Amogh.

Amogh along with Mr. Bond came to his house.

Amogh's parents welcomed them to their house.

"Amogh! do you want to break our family tradition?" questioned Amogh's father.

"What's our family tradition?"

"I know that you don't know. Come behind us then you will get to know."

"Can Mr. Bond also come with us?"

"Yes."

Amogh's parents went to the basement of their house. There was an old lift which was from the 19th century. They went inside the lift. The lift went deeper and deeper in the ground. Then they reached a place where there were many paintings.

"What are the paintings doing here?"

"These are the paintings of your Great-Great-Grandfather, Great-Grandfather, and Grandfather."

"Oh, so my Grandfathers looked ugly."

"If you seeing their face, then you will see them ugly but when you will hear what they have done, you would be amazed."

"What marvelous work they have done?"

 "Not only your grandparents, but I also did the same thing. We all are mountain climbers. We have traveled to the peak of almost all the mountains in the world. Our name is also registered in Guinness Book of World Records. if you don't believe me, search it on the web."

Amogh searched and he found that his grandparents have traveled to the peak of Mt EverestK2Kangchenjunga, Lhotse, Makalu, Cho Oyu, Dhaulagiri I, Manaslu, Nanga Parbat, Annapurna I, Gasherbrum I or Hidden Peak, Broad Peak, Gasherbrum II, Shishapangma, Gyanchung Kang, Annapurna II, Gasherbrum IV, Himalchuli, Distaghil Sar, Nuptse,  and many others.

"Do you want to break our family tradition?"

"I want to go to the time machine which I made. Then I will decide what to do and what not."

They all went in the time machine.

They chose the world of 2099. When they entered the world they saw that almost all the people discussed about MI6. they came down and asked the person who was talking about MI6.

"Do you know about Amogh, he is an agent of MI6?"

"Yes, we know he is the best agent of MI6 after Mr. Bond."

"Do you about Ben { Ben is the name of his Amogh's father }, the great mountain climber?"

"We don't know him as after him almost one hundred people have gone to the mountain peaks of Mt EverestK2Kangchenjunga, Lhotse, Makalu, Cho Oyu, Dhaulagiri I, Manaslu, Nanga Parbat, Annapurna I, Gasherbrum I or Hidden Peak, Broad Peak, Gasherbrum II, Shishapangma, Gyanchung Kang, Annapurna II, Gasherbrum IV, Himalchuli, Distaghil Sar, Nuptse. Not only these many, but they also went more mountain peaks."

"let me give you a situation that if Amogh was a mountain climber, what would happen?"

"If Amogh would be climber than how would  Mr. Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Mr. Auric Goldfinger, Mr. Jaws, Mr. Alec Trevelyan, Mr. Francisco Scaramanga, Mr. Le Chiffre, and Mr. Dr. No 1 would die."

After the response of the person, all the four left for the original world where they lived.

After reaching there Amogh told his response.

The response was "I will break my family tradition."

Amogh and Mr. Bond left for the headquarters.

Amogh's parents felt sad and thought that he took the right path.

August 30, 2020 08:48

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67 comments

Authoring Studio
14:17 Sep 02, 2020

This story is BOMB! I am fascinated by it!

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Amogh Kasat
14:19 Sep 02, 2020

thanks and please like

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Hriday Saboo
09:53 Aug 31, 2020

Do upvote mine also

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Amogh Kasat
16:13 Aug 31, 2020

Yes

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Rhondalise Mitza
03:47 Aug 31, 2020

Hi, noticed your kind comments on my stories and thought I'd drop by! I like the series work you've done, it's well put together. Like some other comments have mentioned though, they would run together as stories so much better if the grammar was stronger. And I understand it's more about the story for some people, and that's great, but even just line checking would do you wonders. You could have some very tight stories. :)

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Amogh Kasat
04:49 Aug 31, 2020

THANKS, AND I WILL WORK ON IT

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Love the description and detail!

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Amogh Kasat
11:02 Sep 02, 2020

thanks and please like

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Hey, if you can, check out my new story! Please feel free to leave feedback since I am a young writer and needs to improve!

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Amogh Kasat
02:15 Sep 05, 2020

Yeah sure after some time

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Thank you so much!

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Amogh Kasat
06:06 Sep 05, 2020

My pleasure

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Hriday Saboo
09:52 Aug 31, 2020

And I just upvoted about 15 to 20 comments of yours

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Amogh Kasat
16:13 Aug 31, 2020

Thanks and I will do yours

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Hriday Saboo
09:52 Aug 31, 2020

Then to, a brilliant story Liked it a lot

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Amogh Kasat
16:13 Aug 31, 2020

Yup I will do it after replying to my comments

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Hriday Saboo
09:51 Aug 31, 2020

Hey cmon make some other sequel

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Amogh Kasat
16:12 Aug 31, 2020

I will think and I was thinking that I can write a novel with it

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Akshat .
10:10 Aug 30, 2020

It's a nice story! I just REALLY suggest getting Grammarly. Overall, it's a good sequel to the Bond series!

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Amogh Kasat
10:56 Aug 30, 2020

thanks and I will work on it

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Akshat .
11:02 Aug 30, 2020

:)

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Amogh Kasat
11:15 Aug 30, 2020

When's your next story coming up?

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Akshat .
11:37 Aug 30, 2020

I'm still working on it.

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Amogh Kasat
11:44 Aug 30, 2020

I would be waiting for it. please inform me when it's done

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Hriday Saboo
16:13 Aug 30, 2020

Hey I have submitted my new story, do read it

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Amogh Kasat
16:15 Aug 30, 2020

I will see it before please like my stories

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What a terrific part 3! Awesome job, Amogh!

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Amogh Kasat
16:14 Aug 30, 2020

Thanks

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The Cold Ice
05:36 Sep 19, 2020

Good story.Great job keep it up. Would you mind reading my new story “Underground world?”

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Amogh Kasat
08:37 Sep 19, 2020

yes but afterwards

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The Cold Ice
08:45 Sep 19, 2020

Ok

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Lily Kingston
14:06 Sep 07, 2020

great story. I like how you added more to Amogh's character's life to make him more rounded out. keep up the good work and keep writing!!

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Amogh Kasat
15:53 Sep 07, 2020

thanks and I will work on it

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Princemark Okibe
14:29 Sep 05, 2020

The way you continue to maintain your series while still sticking to these their random prompts is amazing. Keep up the good work. I just have one critique, in this paragraph [Yes, there are many features of the watch. It has a laser gun that can melt everything in word]. Did you mean 'that can melt everything in the world. Cause that is what I felt you were going for. PS: feel free to check out my latest stories for the lights out contest.

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Amogh Kasat
14:55 Sep 05, 2020

Thanks and sure

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Keerththan 😀
02:33 Sep 05, 2020

Having a time machine was very creative. Wonderful story. Now for some criticism. I think you still have time to edit. 1)The floor dealt with making hi-tec cars and bikes. Hi-tec to hi-tech 2)"I have a car, which was made by them. There were many unique features," said Mr. Bond. I have a confusion here. Does Mr bond have the car or not presently? 3)Ok, There were many amazing features. Oh, so would take a new car or a bike for our next mission. In between so and would , you is missing. 4)Ok, I will go know. Know to now. 5) everyt...

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Amogh Kasat
06:08 Sep 05, 2020

Thanks and I will work on it. Answer to your 2 question Mr. Bond has had the car but in a mission, the car broke.

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Keerththan 😀
06:10 Sep 05, 2020

Then you have also stated that Amogh will take the bike and Bond will take the car. You should change it as Bond got a new car or something like that. It confuses the reader. And you still have time to edit. ;)

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Amogh Kasat
07:48 Sep 05, 2020

Thanks and I will work on it

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Keerththan 😀
07:49 Sep 05, 2020

Welcome.

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Amogh Kasat
13:22 Oct 23, 2020

Today MI v CSK please read my new story written after a month

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Keerththan 😀
14:14 Oct 23, 2020

3-3 ☹️🙁😲😳😭😭

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Keerththan 😀
13:38 Oct 23, 2020

Yea. But csk will lose again. I will definitely do afterwards. Please check my new one if u r free.

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Amogh Kasat
06:06 Oct 25, 2020

ok

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This is really cool! I think that some things were a bit random, like suddenly he had a time machine. Other then that, I love the fact that he’s an agent. All the gadgets you described sounded really cool as well, like the watch.

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Amogh Kasat
02:11 Sep 03, 2020

Thanks

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Amany Sayed
13:44 Sep 02, 2020

Finished upvoting :)

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Amogh Kasat
14:18 Sep 02, 2020

thanks

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. .
04:27 Sep 01, 2020

Great story, well written!

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Amogh Kasat
04:55 Sep 01, 2020

THANKS

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. .
04:59 Sep 01, 2020

np

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20:36 Aug 31, 2020

This was a good storyline! I enjoyed it a lot. There are a couple of things: 1.) There were grammatical/punctuation/capitalization errors throughout the entire stories. I would really suggest Grammarly to help with that. It sure helps me! 2.) This story could use more description, like what each floor felt like when James Bond takes Amogh on a tour of the building. Overall, this story was good!

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Amogh Kasat
04:54 Sep 01, 2020

THANKS, I WILL WORK ON IT

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19:28 Sep 01, 2020

My pleasure!

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Corey Melin
02:56 Aug 31, 2020

Very well done on the continued use of your imagination. Your story will run much smoother with sites that help with grammar. Your choice. Superb!

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Amogh Kasat
04:48 Aug 31, 2020

THANKS

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Amogh Kasat
03:43 Sep 03, 2020

HEY WOULD YOU MIND UPVOTING MY COMMENTS AND I WOULD DO THE SAME

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Corey Melin
03:52 Sep 03, 2020

Just did

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Amogh Kasat
05:07 Sep 03, 2020

Thanks, I will do it after some time

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Corey Melin
03:09 Sep 04, 2020

A few more upvotes for you

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Amogh Kasat
03:22 Sep 04, 2020

I can see, I will do yours also

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James Offenha
20:19 Sep 06, 2020

I liked the story. There were a lot of characters though, which made the story harder to follow. Also, most of the sentences are short. Think about showing more and telling us less. Also, consider having an exposition where we get to know who these people are before they’re superheroes. Or let me hear how they went from ordinary life to this in the story. Good job!!

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Amogh Kasat
01:53 Sep 07, 2020

Thanks and I will work on it

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Amogh Kasat
01:53 Sep 07, 2020

pLease like the story

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