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Drama Romance Teens & Young Adult

"Ugh, I hate him so much!" "He is stealing my customers" I said to my best friend who happened to be in my bakery. She comes almost every morning to get a black coffee and a homemade muffin. I made everything is my shop by hand and Adam was still getting more customers and I can't figure out how! Speaking of the tall, and devilshly handsome rival Adam. He walks into my shop like he owns the place and orders a coffee. "What brings you here? I smirked. I didn't like him but he was so sexy. Ugh what am I saying ...I dont know what has come over me today. "You okay?" Asked Lilly. "Yeah" I lied. "I'm great" so, Lillydo you ever think of Adam as sexy? Because he is my rival but damn idk how I can like and hate him at the same time. "What??" "You like Adam!?" "maybe" I replied.

I just don't know, he is stealing my customers! A million thoughts were circulated in my brain. I mean, he was just sitting there..but why? He has his own shop..maybe he likes me too and came in here like a mysterious, sexy creeper. Uhh my brain was done.

I walked up to him and demanded to know why he was here. I mean I guess that was bitchy but we have had this rivalry going on for years and he has never once sat in my shop. I mean sure he would come in at times and tell me how great his bakery is going. His was across the street in downtown Manhattan.

"I'm just enjoying some coffee" he smirked. " I really dont think that's the only reason you're here, coming to check out the competition?" "The customers? I have 5 right now and where are you in your own bakery? Over here to gloat. "Ugh you are giving me a headache." The next thing I know he took my hand and brought me to his shop which had about 7 customers. Not that it made any difference. The christmas festival was so beautiful, the lights strung up on light poles and trees , basically on anything and I couldn't take my eyes off of it He took me to the back, he looked at me and said I really like you and I'm tired of being rivals then he looked into my eyes and pushed me against the wall and kissed me. It was all so sudden. Then he said "you're mine" it made me have chills than ran through my entire body and it felt so good, So good that I was finally happy again and I think I loved him, I knew he loved me. He chose me and I couldn't be happier, full of sparks and butterflies and shivers to my core. He pulled my ass up onto a table and we had sex, I mean how could we not, we were full of lust and love. Afterwards, he took me to his place and we had sex again in his bedroom. He had such an incredible apartment. It was morning and I found myself alone in his bed with a note saying there is breakfast in the kitchen and he went to go get coffee. Love, Adam. My life was even more complete than ever. It was like a fairy tale. My own fairy tale but what if something is too perfect..he also laid out a gorgeous outfit to wear today, a cute black top with lace on it and some blue jeans. I took a shower in his amazing bathroom, ate and then put on my clothes. I thought "but we are still bakery rivals and we had a bake off for the 3 holiday festival" I planned on baking lemon squares and little vanilla creme cakes. I'm not sure what his is plan is but I do intend to find out. He finally came back with some coffee, Both black just how we like. How did he know I like coffee? "Because my love, I've been observing you for quite some time" "what?? Why are you in my head??" I exclaimed. Mary he says, don't think for one second that I dont know every little thing about you. Just like how you like blueberry pancakes and orange mimosa for breakfast" he says "yeah, I guess that was strange. But how can you read my mind?" "Well, I cant tell you, the only thing you should be concerned about it your lemons squares and cakes for the baking contest.." The baking contest was tomorrow so I should get home and practice. I honestly didn't really care what he was doing, I knew my cakes and squares would be bomb as fuck! Not to be too cocky but yeah, they are my best seller in my shop. " I know you want to go home to practice but you could stay here and practice with me." Hmm, I thought for a second and I actually really wanted to do thatandbso since he could read my mind we did just that and talked and it turns out he is a warlock and has the ability to read people's minds among other powers. We had a great time baking and we worked together so perfectly. I wasn't at all scared of him a bit. We played around some with of the ingredients which resulted in lots of flour everywhere. I laughed and thought "this is going to be amazing and so is my life. Its perfect. It's only been a few days but they've best of my life and I intend to keep it that way and enjoy it for as long as I can. The next day we went to our booth for the baking contest, he had made tiramisu and blueberry muffins. Which were delicious by the way, I was sure he would win since all of his ingredients came out of a bag, I mean the muffins were a muffin mix. But oh well, they were delicious. All of the judges tried our deserts and they were in love with my lemon squares and Adam's tiramisu. We weren't the only ones in the contest and I was sure he would win but he didn't! I won! My lemon cakes were the topping on the cake out of all the bakers and I was convinced they were the best because I made everything by hand. I cant believe it though, it hasn't sunk in bbn in yet but I was beaming! All the bakers shook my hair and Adam gave me flowers and everything was so great! But there was a drunk driver and a high speed car chase in the middle of Manhattan and the whole festival got destroyed and so many lives were lost and so was Adam's. My love, my souls mate..how could this happen? He is a warlock, he cant be dead. He got crushed under a christmas float and his body was taken to the morgue and was part of an investigation now. I saw his cold body on that metal slab and he looked like a ghost, sunkin in and the stench of death filled the room. I cried over his dead body. It was time to say goodbye. I kissed his forehead and thanked him for everything he had done and that I'm sorry that his life had ended so soon. I felt so guilty and in denial. He couldn't just be dead I told myself...but like I said before nothing last forever.

December 04, 2020 18:16

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8 comments

This story was quite rushed and if you took it a bit slower it might make a better difference. Just my opinion :)

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Story Time
22:48 Dec 15, 2020

I definitely think overall you could have slowed the pacing, but I look forward to reading more from you.

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Mou Sukoshi
17:30 Dec 12, 2020

Liked it.. Fun read. And also.. try to develop the chemistry a little slower.. Adam walked in, kissed me and we had sex.. is a huge jump in one single paragraph.. considering pacing it out..

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Leya Newi
16:30 Dec 12, 2020

This was really interesting, with Adam being a mind reader. I wish it had lasted a little longer, it felt rushed but the concept was really good. I would suggest try to slow down the next story you write, which would help make it seem more realistic and easier to understand. The other thing I noticed was that you had very few paragraphs, and splitting it up would make it easier to read. Remember that each time someone new speaks to create a new paragraph. Besides that, I really liked it! Keep writing, Molly!

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Leya Newi
16:33 Dec 12, 2020

You also had a lot of run on sentences, which is probably part of what made the story feel so rushed. If you split the sentences up, it would help a lot. I do it too, it’s just something you gotta look out for. That’s the last thing, this was a lot of feedback, sorry. Please keep writing, I look forward to seeing your new pieces!!

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Molly Poling
18:58 Dec 12, 2020

Thank you! I am doing better at spacing out my paragraphs and sentences. I am writing a book and would love to keep writing on here as well! :)

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Leya Newi
19:42 Dec 12, 2020

Reedsy is amazing for practice, my own writing has gotten a lot better. Good luck with your book!

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Mou Sukoshi
17:27 Dec 12, 2020

I have the same feedback as Leya.. break up the paragraphs. Will make it easier to read and comprehend.

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