Creative Nonfiction

As it happens, she stands there having nothing to say and doesn't react at all for a minute. She then pulls out the cigarette from his mouth, wraps her arms around his neck and says, "Well, I hope it was good." The arm was wrapped a little too tight and her face probably showed a bit of anger, which alerted the bar security. She puts the cigarette back in his mouth, thinking afterward that she should have put it into the pitcher of beer. She looks at the skinny blonde, with her abdominal skin showing under her short half shirt, and imagines throwing the beer in her face. Making her curly, shoulder length hair dripping wet with beer and seeing her disgusted face, would have been the perfect reaction to give Sara a feeling of satisfaction to this embarrassing confrontation. Never had Sara been in a relationship like this. She was older than Mike, wanted to fix him, wanted to help him, but he was stuck in a co-dependent relationship with his mother and step-father. Sara wanted so much better for Mike, but he almost refused to grow up and see what was going on in his life. He wouldn't move away from his mother because he felt protective of her due to his emotionally abusive step-father. His half-siblings were from his step-father, and they also felt the discord from their fathers' poor parenting. The oldest sister was 16 and would be lucky to get out of high-school without getting pregnant. The younger sister was overly emotional and any comments that she felt sensitive to, could cause the whole family to coddle her. Mike’s biological father had committed suicide, but Mike was told that he died in a car accident. Sara had done some research at the library and found out the truth, but didn’t dare tell Mike. It wasn’t her place. 

As Sara stands and watches Mike announce in front of all her friends, and anyone else listening at the bar, about his infidelity with this blond, skinny homewrecker, she wants to do so much, but does nothing. She is embarrassed and seething, angry and hostile, but instead, just releases herself from Mike's neck as the bar security escorts her out. "Ok, that's enough, let go of him and get out of here!" the security guy demands. She immediately starts crying out of humiliation, shame, and disbelief that she was cheated on. Not only was she cheated on, but he announces it in front of everyone when they are trying to have a good time. She should have known to stay away from any place he could be since they broke up. Sara runs out to the parking lot and finds his truck. It easily stands out because it's all white and she knows this truck. She's been inside this truck, knows the stickers on the windows, but tonight that skinny, bitch homewrecker is in that truck. Sara looks for a rock to start scratching up his truck and to tear off Mike's favorite window stickers. She wants him to know that he hurt her - as if he didn't already. She wants to make sure that he learns his lesson and never does this again. How could he do this to her? Not only did he cheat, but he announces it in a bar, with all their friends around, and acts like he is the best thing since sliced bread. While Sara is in the parking lot screaming and raging inside her head on what she wants to do, what she needs to do to feel better, her friends come out to see what she is doing. "I knew something wasn't right, I knew it. He hadn't been acting right, he acted like he didn't want to be near me before we broke up. He wouldn’t talk to me at the lunch with our friends and his friends were acting funny too. I should have moved away when I could. I should have left years ago after school. I'm going to ruin him, I'm going to hurt him like he hurt me!" Sara yelled while sobbing and pacing. "Making damage on his truck won't help you, just leave it be. Go home and forget about him" Rayner said. "I can't go home, I didn't drive and no one else can take me because they aren't willing to leave. Forget it, I'll call someone", Sara says as she is starting to walk down the road. While walking down the road, Sara plans in her head what she will do next time she runs into Mike, if ever that dreadful day would come. "I'm going to tell him that I hope someone has hurt him like he did me, and I'm going to show him how much I have accomplished in my life, and how he won't scare me", Sara thinks to herself. When walking down the dark road, a car drives past and she notices it is full of guys who are acting rowdy. The yell out at her and turn the car around. They then stop beside her and starting opening a car door. “Hey girl, do you need a ride? Come ride with us.” “Yeah, that’s all I need tonight”, Sara thinks. She keeps walking, and the car pulls away.  

Two years later, Sara is with friends at the local truck show and she sees Mike coming up the bleachers and he sits 2 rows behind her. He doesn't know she is there. She starts to think back on the dreadful night when she was humiliated by Mike and how she has so much she wants to say to him, whether they are in public or not. She would not make a scene as he did. She waits for him to head to the bathroom and Sara excuses herself and follows him. He comes out of the bathroom and Sara waits back, making sure no one else is waiting for him. She starts walking toward him and Mike looks up and catches her eye. He stares at her and seems irritated that she is there. Sara stares back for a second and then puts on a scowl and walks away. 

January 13, 2021 01:32

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23:02 Jan 20, 2021

Good story! I liked your descriptions and backstory to the characters. I think you do a good job of getting the reader to empathize with Sara. One note- I would add in more paragraphs/spacing to make it easier to follow. It read a bit like a stream of consciousness, which was cool, but a little hard to keep track of physical actions vs thought. Great story though!!


Jessica Crosby
23:38 Jan 21, 2021

Thanks for the tip. I'm new to this so I'll take any suggestions


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