Grew Up Right

There was a time when Kinney cared. People who care are careful. People who stop caring become careless. At least that was the common wisdom in Springfield when their high school principal, Thomas Kinney, disappeared – and not by himself – with less than a week before the first day of school. It was the Wednesday before Labor Day.

Kinney arrived in his car, and for reasons still unknown, parked in the Student Lot on the north side of the high school. As it happened, Amanda Singer was walking by, and he leapt out of his car and called out to her, “Amanda!”

In a tiny tank, running shorts, cut high for maximum range of motion, Amanda jogged over, stimulating a private moment of involuntary arousal for Kinney. He stood behind his open car door.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, an air of nonchalance.

“Thought I could give you a ride home.”

“That is so random! I totally need a ride.” It was true, she did need a ride. If she had none, she would have run the rest of the way home. But … What luck! The universe really does provide, Amanda smiled.

Amanda opened the passenger door, which was unlocked. Kinney climbed in and closed his door.

Amanda was very familiar with Kinney’s car. She had been his passenger countless times over the last two years. He had even befriended the family. They were among his staunchest supporters.

Mrs. Singer—Sharon—at Back to School Night last year, said, “What I like about Tom is that he really appreciates order. If he had his own kids, I’m sure he would be a real disciplinarian. And uniforms! A stroke of genius! I never thought someone could do that in public school. But Tom did. You can’t deny it! Tom did,” she shook a finger.

No one denied it. Within the Mom Culture of Springfield High were two camps. The Sharon Singers of the world: country clubbers and church goers; fewer in number, but vituperatively vocal, so say the “Anti-Uniformers” or AUs (rhymes with “Hey youse!”), in the opposite. Formality and uniformity were anathema to them.

Springfield Times, September 1, 2024: “Local High School Principal Suspected in Abduction of Multiple Female Students” Local authorities announced at a press conference Saturday evening that longtime resident Thomas Kinney, Principal of Springfield High School, is suspected of having abducted multiple girls last week. Their names are being withheld currently, but sources confirm all three are juniors and had a sixteenth birthday this year. The girls’ families met with law enforcement officials. All reported having a close family relationship with Kinney.

Principal Kinney has been credited with raising standardized test scores at Springfield High, but his methods, including mandatory school uniforms, have been controversial. “It was a bit much,” said an AU, or “Anti-Uniformer,” a local mother, whose daughter has not been abducted, and who asked not to be named for “fear of being ostracized.”

==================

Kinney did not bring Amanda to her house. Instead, he drove to his own, where two of Amanda’s classmates awaited them: blindfolded with zip tied wrists, they were locked in two different rooms. He had taken the liberty of buying luggage and outfits that he thought would suit each of the girls, without any duplication. He also went to the trouble of buying feminine hygiene products, tooth brushes, toothpaste, floss, deodorant; everything he could think of.

He would have liked to bring all six girls, but he decided he could no longer wait. He needed to take the three who had already turned sixteen, most importantly, Amanda, who would be his “first wife.” One of the other girls who made the cut was Gwen Prince, a wiry but athletic cheerleader, whose core strength was evident from close inspection of her abdomen, which Principal Kinney had found occasion to choreograph. It was, predictably, in connection with her modeling the uniforms as well. She went the day after Amanda, who had always been his favorite, especially since that last year at Springfield Elementary, fifth grade for the girls, the year before he got assigned to the high school. There was a hiatus, three years, but that made the reunion all the richer.

==================

“Interview: Thomas Kinney, January 2, 2025, Springfield Psychiatric. Objective - sanity determination:

Of course, you can’t keep everyone happy all of the time, and there were certainly other families that were unhappy about the uniforms, and even some of the kids were—not surprisingly, I suppose—very ‘anti-uniform.’ Fortunately, Amanda was an early adopter, perhaps because she was the first to try on the options. Eventually, I had six others model them for me, too. Interestingly, they all agreed on the same one, which surprised me.

You have to understand, I had seen these kids grow up, had been their principal since they were in first grade, six years old. I saw them mature over those first five years. So much of that development is cognitive, you know. But, between elementary and high school, well, that’s really when they go from kids to becoming adults. Physically, they are ready to do what adults do, which is procreate.

Interviewer: How did you decide to take the girls to Utah?

I knew whoever I ultimately chose would need company. I could not take Amanda by herself. She needed a friend, someone her age. I prefer even numbers, but two was too few, and since three had achieved the threshold age for marriage in Utah, that became the plan. Why Utah, ‘cause they understand the merits of polygamy. I mean, it’s even kind of mainstream in a subculture way. The wives call each other Sister whatever. Like Amanda would call Gwen ‘Sister Gwen’ that idea.

Are you aware that Utah has outlawed polygamy?

There’s the letter of the law, and then there’s the spirit. Plus, all I was trying to do was my part to help reverse the trend in this country, this very dangerous trend, by making new babies. Amanda, Gwen, and Olivia are ripe. It is clear that they are physically ready and able to reproduce.

Did you not think they should have a say in whether they wanted to reproduce?

Of course they have a say. I asked them all, even the ones who I could not bring, because they were only fifteen, and they all told me they want to have babies.

Someday.

Well yeah, it has to be “someday.”

But, this is unusually young. They haven’t even finished high school—

Sophomore year is probably the level that they could all get their GEDs, which I plan on helping them do.

I was about to say, ‘let alone college.’ Weren’t all these girls in college-prep courses?

Yes, of course. I am an educator. I want them to go to college. We were working out a schedule. I would for the most part be a house husband and caretaker of all of them, including the babies, once they come.

Were you aware that all three women have tested positive for pregnancy?

Once we got them synchronized, it wasn’t hard to figure out their ovulation cycle. I figured we had accomplished the mission, well before the cops came.

===============

Faulk’s News Channel, October 31, 2024

“Good Evening, from Washington, this is Britt Bear. There’s been a major development in the case of the missing girls from Springfield High. Based on interviews with family members, the girls have been missing since August 28, and authorities believe they were kidnapped by their principal, Thomas Kinney.

“Late yesterday evening, police in St. George, Utah discovered a man harboring three sixteen year old girls meeting the descriptions of FBI missing persons reports from September.

“With more on this, Ayanna Hashimi is in St. George with the latest. Ayanna?”

“Good afternoon Britt. Local authorities plan to brief the general public in two hours, 6 p.m. local time, but we have obtained information from anonymous sources. The individuals have been positively identified as Amanda Singer, Gwen Prince, and Olivia Olivetti. Additionally, authorities have confirmed the identity of Thomas Kinney, who was taken in for questioning last night. The girls have been admitted to a local hospital for evaluation. Local authorities have indicated that they intend to cooperate with Springfield police on the transfer of both Kinney and the victims back to Springfield, where Kinney is expected to be charged with three counts of premeditated kidnapping in the first degree. Authorities are awaiting the results of health care evaluations of the victims to see if other charges are warranted. Back to you, Britt.”

“Thank you, Ayanna. We have a special guest tonight. Amanda Singer’s father joins us now. Mr. Singer, welcome and thank you.”

“Thank you, Britt, for having me.”

“Briefly, can you tell us about Principal Kinney? He was close with your family and those of the other girls that were abducted, we understand. That must feel like such a betrayal of trust.”

“It does, Britt. Honestly, first time I met him, I thought he was gay. Just something off about him. You know, I started my career ‘dialing for dollars.’ I make my living on the telephone. I’ve used that skill to fundraise for my alma mater, volunteer for political campaigns. But you just never expect to be ‘dialing for daughter’. But that’s what we did when she disappeared. Sharon and I, we just started dialing.” He lost his composure; his hands heaved as he held his heavy head.

“We’ll be back after these messages.”

“Jesus, Singer, this is cable news. Try to hold yourself together. If I knew you were going to go to pieces, I would not have had you on. No one wants to see a man cry on TV, at least not the people who watch Faulk’s News!”

“What kind of an animal are you? This is all just fodder for you isn’t it? You don’t care about my daughter! You don’t care about her friends!”

“Security, we have an issue in the studio. Please respond.”

“What the hell is this?”

“Thirty seconds, Britt.”

“Copy. Security, there you are — please remove this man.”

“Ten seconds… five, four, three, two…”

“In Election News, both sides are claiming a path to victory…”

===================

Mr. Singer is escorted off the elevator into the lobby, shouting, “Get your hands off me! This is the most callous and disrespectful treatment I’ve ever been subjected to.”

“Hey Mac, is there a problem?”

“Nah, no problem, Officer. Mister Singer here was just leaving. I’d’n that right, Mister Singer?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s right.” Singer swiped his tussled hair out of his eyes. As he walked away, under his breath, he said, “Fucking assholes.”

================

Monday, December 2, 2024

Springfield County Court

“All rise.”

“Be seated.”

“Your honor, the State is here for the arraignment of Thomas Kinney, the former principal of Springfield High.”

“What are the charges?”

“Three counts of felony kidnapping. At least three counts of sexual assault of a minor. And the parents of the girls wish to have the marriages annulled on the grounds that these were done under coercion, at an age below that recognized as legal here in Springfield, that being eighteen. Furthermore, the legality of any marriage was tainted by the incidence of multiple marriages simultaneously.”

“The marriage ceremonies performed where?”

“Utah, your honor.”

“Well, I have no jurisdiction over that. They should have taken care of that in Utah.”

“Duly noted, your honor.”

“What of the ‘at least’ three counts of sexual assault by a minor?”

“Well, your honor, we can confirm at least one instance of sexual intercourse with each of the victims on the part of Mr. Kinney.”

“How so?”

“Each of the three girls is pregnant. Kinney tested positive for paternity.”

“I see. How far along are they?”

“Approximately eight weeks, your honor.”

“And how do we know that this was not consensual? Have you spoken to the ‘victims’?”

“Not yet, your honor, I have not.”

“Motion to dismiss.”

“Not so fast, Counselor.”

“Your honor, all three girls were taken, abducted, against their will and without the knowledge of their parents. They were zip tied and blindfolded, put into a white windowless van, and transported some fifty hours to St.George, Utah. These are sixteen year old girls, he was their principal. I understand innocent til proven guilty, but can’t we grant the charges for us to prove?”

“Fine. We’ll do it your way. Seven year olds can change their gender, but sixteen year olds can’t consent to polyamorous relationships? You’re treading on thin ice, Assistant DA, but I’ll allow it. How does Defendant plead?”

“Not guilty, your honor.”

===================

December 10, 2024, Singer Residence

Amanda’s phone buzzed. “Hi, Olivia.”

“Hi Amanda. How are you doing?”

“You know. Surviving.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Have you talked to Gwen lately!”

“No, have you?”

“Not for about ten days.”

“How was she then?”

“Not good. I mean, I’m not sure if suicidal is too strong, but she hates what’s happening to her body. She wants it out of her.”

“Is it just really bad morning sickness?”

“I think it’s more than that. I guess I haven’t had any of that.”

“Really, not even morning sickness?”

“No. I think I might actually like being pregnant. I definitely like that I haven’t gotten my period for the last two months.” Amanda laughed.

“Oh my God! You’re… going to keep it, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I wish! I think my parents are going to make me give it up for adoption.”

“But, that’s what I mean: You’re going to have the baby!”

“Planning on it.”

Olivia shivered. “Sorry, that just skeeves me out. I can’t even imagine having this child. I want to abort it as soon as I can.”

“I can’t… I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re going to moralize to me about my decision?”

“Well, you had no problem sharing what you thought about my decision. I didn’t even say anything. Just that I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, the way you said it, I could tell that you think what I intend to do is wrong. Don’t you?”

“That’s not true. I think it’s up to you. I just see it differently. I see this as a baby that is half me. I can’t kill it.”

“I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. Wait. If the cops hadn’t come, would you have stayed?”

“It doesn’t matter does it?”

“Amanda? Fuck, yes it matters.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Well, because it does.”

“It doesn’t matter because it didn’t happen.”

“You are literally blowing my mind. Don’t tell me that you are withdrawing your petition for annulment!”

“Okay, I won’t.”

“Are you serious?”

“Well, I don’t know. I mean, I figure a couple of things. Thing one is, if your and Gwen’s marriages are annulled, then it is not polygamy anymore, and, at least theoretically, one marriage, Tom’s to me, could survive. Thing two, if I stay married to Tom, then maybe I can keep the baby, and that is really what I want to do. Thing three. Depending on what happens to Tom in sentencing, I’ll either get his house and whatever assets he has or he’ll be out and we can be a married couple and start a family. But either way, it will get me out of my parents house, which I am so ready to do.”

“Amanda, I think you have lost your mind!”

“What, he was nice to us!”

“Nice! Gwen and I were blindfolded and zip tied! That’s not nice!”

“Well, would you have stayed if he didn’t do that when he came to pick me up?”

“Fuck no, I would have run out of — wait a minute! He never zip tied you! He picked you up last! You were in on it, weren’t you? You fucking bitch!” Olivia shrieked.

“I’m sorry Olivia, I seem to be losing signal. I can’t hear what you’re saying. I gotta go anyway. I’ll call you later.”

Amanda pressed the red circle to terminate the call.

That night, Gwen took a bottle of sleeping pills. She slept for twenty-four hours. When she awoke she remembered that she had tried to commit suicide, and she was suddenly so happy to be alive. Then she remembered she was pregnant, and, instantly, she was depressed again. She had to pee really badly, so much came out of her. After relieving herself she wiped. Blood. She looked at it, confused, then stood and, with a mix of horror and relief, saw a toilet full of blood. She had miscarried.

==================

Amanda had the opportunity to take the stand, which she did. She was called by the State as a witness, but her testimony quickly changed the State’s posture.

“Permission to treat as hostile, your honor.”

“Granted.”

“So you are saying that the entire plan was agreed upon in advance and consensual on the part of all parties?”

“Yes, my husband and I had consensual relations. We were trying to have a baby.”

The gallery gasped.

“Motion to dismiss the charges against my client in connection with Amanda Singer.”

“Granted. Court will recess.”

==============

“The State calls expert witness testimony from Springfield Psychiatric.”

“Swear him in.”

“Doctor, in your own words, how did you evaluate the mental condition of the defendant?”

“Oh, he’s quite sane. Calculating. And it seems as if he had cooperation from Ms. Singer.”

“Objection. Amanda’s married name is Mrs. Kinney.”

“Sustained. The record will reflect Mrs. Kinney’s name accordingly.”

================

Birth Announcements, Springfield Gazette

June 20, 2025

Mrs. Amanda Kinney, formerly Singer, gave birth to a baby boy, Thomas Kinney, Jr. 7 lbs, 7oz. 21.5 inches. Mother and baby are both healthy and will reside here in Springfield.