There you see her

"There you see her

Sitting there across the way

She don't got a lot to say

But there's something about her

And you don't know why

But you're dying to try

You wanna kiss girl" 

The lyrics of the little mermaid song play across my mind. There she was. Sitting across from me. The girl I love. Does she feel the same? The sunset is clouding my thoughts. Sitting on a small pier looking out to sea. The waves crashing onto the wooden planks. She's sitting further out than me clasping onto the end of the ledge with her small fingers. Her hair, long and billowing in the wind. Her legs swinging over the edge of the pier. She turns and her eyes catch the light of the sun. The red and orange colours catch her eyelashes and make her look like a dream. Her hair glowing in the different colours around her. Standing up I notice that the wind has gotten up. It’ll be dark soon. I get up and slowly walk toward her. The sun goes down behind the horizon. I put my arm softly around her shoulders. She doesn’t react, doesn’t flinch. I reach for her hand but she pulls away. She recoils into herself away from me. I shrink back. I turn around and take one last look at her. She’s looking out into the sea. Tears glinting on her cheeks. I want to comfort her so much. To tell her that I’m here for her. To tell her that I love her, and I always will. But no. She doesn’t want love, not at the moment. She wants time to be alone. Away from humanity. Just with herself. Remembering her little brother. The one who only this morning was running about the house. Now he sleeps in a cold ocean with no teddies and no loving family. Everyone had taken it hard. But Clarissa had taken it the hardest. He was her safeplace. They did everything together. And now he’s gone. Gone to another land. Where I know he’ll thrive, but she can’t let go of him. Never will she forget him. All the times they played, the fun they had. The songs they danced to. She will never forget it. My hands clasp around my shivering body. I go into the house and watch her from the big bayview window. She shakes slightly but doesn’t move.  I feel a coldness enter my heart. She is so sad. And I’m doing nothing to help her. I feel bad, but what can I do? I turn my back to the pier and warm myself up by the fire. Her family have gone out to try and relieve themselves of the sadness. They thought that going to a restaurant would help. Clarissa eventually comes in. Shaking from the cold and now the heat and change in temperatures. She collapses on the floor. I feel her forehead, she’s burning up. I rush to the sink and grab a cold flannel. I fan her down and put a blanket over her. She lies there on  the floor shaking. The girl of my dreams is slipping through my fingers. Will she ever be the same? I need help. What does she have? How can I help? She continues to shiver. I get out her favourite book. Pride and prejudice by Jane Austen. A classic forbidden love story. I begin to read to her. Just like her brother used to. She clasps my hand, listening intently to my voice. Her eyes close and relax, her body stops shaking. She continues to clasp my hand as I read on. Her eyes flutter open. I look down at her with love showing to her. She looks up at me. I lean down and kiss her cherry coloured lips. They feel like rose petals, soft and beautiful. I plean back from her and she smiles up at me with her green eyes. She looks so pretty. Even now. I stop reading and look at a clock. It’s half-past ten. It’s already quite late. She needs to sleep. I reach under her and bring her to my chest. I can feel her heart beating and hear her breathing. She clutches onto my neck holding tight. I carry her into her bedroom, and lay her down on her bed. I pull the covers around her. She is asleep before her head hits the pillow. I gaze down on her. She looks so peaceful. A knock at the door grabs my attention. I race to the door shutting her door silently first. Her family walks in half dead and even more sad now than ever before. They fall into each other's arms and go straight into their bedrooms. I stay still. They all disappear. I go back to check on Clarissa. I open the door. Her bed is empty and the window is open. Where is she? The curtains are flapping about in the windy weather. I run to the window. She’s walking down the steps to the pier. Her Hair blowing everywhere, tears glinting on her in the moonlight. She’s shivering. Chilled to the bone. Whether it’s the cold or her brother. She stops at the end. I run down and out through the door. I reach the pier as a loud splash sounds through the waves. I’m too late. I run to the end. Only her hand is above the water. But she isn’t struggling. She’s letting the ocean take her. Just like it took her brother. I reach down and try to help her. The current pulls her away. I scream, and try to swim to her. But the rocks are so sharp, the current pulling me along with it. I’ve lost sight of her. Where did she go? I grasp around frantically. She’s nowhere to be seen. I search for hours on end. Nothing. The ocean took her. I reach the pier. Pulling myself up and out of the water. I sit down on the cold and plain planks of wood. Holding my legs close to my body. I let the tears roll down my face. Why? Why love if you get hurt? She’s gone, really gone. I look out at the water. The moon glistens and sparkles on the now calm water. At least she’s happier. She’s joined her brother. In heaven. And she will always be in my heart. No matter how many years pass. She will always be alive to me.