Super Sushi y Burritos

Submitted into Contest #162 in response to: Start your story with someone looking at a restaurant menu.... view prompt

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Fiction Funny

Jim looked at the Mexican-Sushi fusion restaurant menu, sighing. Why did he always allow Marcus to choose the places they would go for dinner during their monthly hangouts?  He thought that maybe he should order a large garden salad?  That seemed safe enough. 

“Dude,” said his best friend Marcus, as if reading his mind. “Don’t even think about getting a salad. Why would you even want to order that here when you have the option of getting Mexican food or sushi?  This is such a cool place to try. Place just opened up last month.  Do not waste this awesome concept of a restaurant getting a simple salad.”

Furrowing his brow, Jim squinted harder at the menu. 

“Well,” he said aloud, “there’s a California roll, but I don’t really like crab.  Maybe there’s another roll…”

“Besides,” interrupted Marcus, “California rolls are boring. You can have that any time. Look, they have a spicy tuna roll.”

“But I hate any type of spice,” responded Jim. 

“What about a salmon roll? Those are pretty good - and not spicy.”

Jim appeared thoughtful and then answered, “I don’t really like texture of salmon.”

“How about a Philadelphia roll?  It’s definitely not spicy.”

“Too sweet for me,” answered Jim. “I’ve never been a big fan of cream cheese anyway.”

“So maybe not sushi then,” groaned Marcus.  

“Yeah probably not,” answered Jim. 

“They do have noodles,” suggested Marcus.  You can get them with chicken or even plain if you want. 

“This is going to sound strange, but I never order noodles because it reminds me of eating worms,” acknowledged Jim. 

“What about are talking about,” said Marcus, exasperated.  “Have you ever eaten worms?  Then how do you know what they taste like?”

Jim threw his hands up as he said, “I never said I’ve tasted worms before.  Just that noodles remind me of eating worms. You’ve been out with me thousands of times. Have you ever seen me order noodles? No, right?  Besides, it’s a lot of work eating, wrapping it around the fork and all.”

“Are you the laziest person on Earth? responded Marcus. “It takes like two seconds to eat noodles.”

“Of course I’d take the two seconds to eat them if I actually wanted them,” declared Jim. 

“Fair enough,” uttered Marcus, finally breaking into a smile. 

Approaching the table, the waiter introduced himself as Aiden and asked if he could help them with anything?  

“I know, a lot of choices on the menu,

added Aiden. “This is a unique fusion style restaurant, and if you have friends who want Mexican food, bring them, and if you have friends craving sushi, bring them too.”  

He laughed as he continued, “we have something for everyone!  You guys ready to order yet?”

“I am,” responded Marcus. “But I know my friend here isn’t.”

“You’re ready already?” groaned Jim, hating to keep his friend waiting. 

“Yeah, getting the extra spicy rainbow roll and a tri tip burrito with all the fixins, probably even with both black and pinto beans.”

“That sounds like a disaster for your stomach,” countered Jim.

“Hey, you ain’t truly livin’ until you gamble with your intestines,” joked Aiden the waiter. 

Jim and Marcus laughed. 

“I just have to try them together. I love sushi and Mexican food and this is such a unique restaurant. I have to try them both,” said Marcus. 

“Can I grab you gentlemen anything to drink while you still continue to look over the menu?” asked Aiden. 

“I’ll have a water, please,” responded Jim. 

“Sure,” replied Aiden, then looked over to Marcus. “And for you sir?”

“Can I go ahead and get a Cadillac Margarita?  This guy over here is my DD,” he grinned, patting Jim on the back. “Sure you don’t want to get a Margarita, too?  We can have a couple of drinks and go check out the game at the bar nearby.”

“Nah, I don’t want to be hungover, especially since I have to wake up early for work tomorrow. My body does not process alcohol the way it used to - especially with tequila,” stated Jim.

“Are you a thousand years old?” smirked Marcus. 

“Okay, I’ll grab those drinks for you gentlemen then,” Aiden piped up.  Turning quickly, he walked away. 

“Hey, you could go ahead and get a tri tip burrito - like me - with everything,” suggested Marcus. 

“I don’t think I’m feeling that adventurous,” replied Jim. 

“What about a quesadilla then?”

“Too much cheese.  I have a hard time processing a lot of dairy.  One of the pitfalls of approaching middle age.”  

“You’re only 2 years older than me,” said Marcus, shaking his head.  “Why are you so much more of an old man than me?”

“Hey, be grateful you don’t have to deal with this.  Last time I ate a simple ice cream cone, I spent all night on the toilet.”

“Perfect time to hear this story right before we have food,” joked Marcus. 

Jim answered, “Hey, I’m just preparing you for what could happen if you order the crazy combo of food you plan on ordering. I could be saving your life - or at least your night right now.”

“Thanks for lookin’ out dude, but I’m taking the risk. Especially if you’re my future in two years. Gotta do all my livin’ and eatin’ before that time.”

“What about a taquito?  Can’t go wrong with fried food,” offered Marcus. 

“Hmm…trying to be a bit healthier,” answered Jim. “My cholesterol and blood pressure are both quite high. 

“What about ordering just a basic taco then?  You can order it without cheese.”

“I just had tacos for lunch though,” Jim replied. “I want to eat something else for dinner.”

“What about pozole? It’s a traditional soup made with meat and other ingredients like…”

“Chile peppers is what I’m reading here,” interrupted Jim. “Sounds too spicy. And besides, it’s hot out right now. Not sure I’m feeling like soup.”

“How about just getting some chicken nachos then man?  That’s pretty simple.”

“Remember my body has a hard time processing cheese?  And I really don’t feel like spending extra quality time with the toilet. That won’t work.”

“Yeah, right,” acknowledged Marcus. “Keep forgetting that you’re so old that your body won’t process anything fun or flavorful.”

They both looked at each other. 

“How about you just get the garden salad then Jim,” laughed Marcus. 

“Yeah, great idea Marcus.” Jim smiled. I’ll just order the salad.”

September 06, 2022 17:42

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1 comment

Zach Martz
04:03 Sep 23, 2022

Funny story. I did laugh a few times, especially at the part about eating noodles. I half expected Marcus to throw a fit over how fussy an eater Jim was!


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