Waiting for Samuel Beckett

Submitted into Contest #114 in response to: Start your story with the line, “You wanna do something fun?”... view prompt

38 comments

American

“You wanna do something fun?” 

“No.”

“You wanna do something fun?” 

“NO.”

“Why not?”

“Because your idea of fun isn’t.”

“Isn’t what?”

“Isn’t fun.” 

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“C’mon.”

“NO.”

“Really?”

“Really. Whenever we go out, I end up regretting it.”

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

“C’mon. Fun. Let’s go.” 

“I don’t want to do anything fun with you because you have the boundaries of a rabid dog.”

“Thank you.”

“Your idea of fun is breaking things. Rules. Society norms. Girls’ hearts. Curfew. On more than one occasion, windows.”

“That’s not always true. Usually true, but not always true.”

“You remember last time?”

“Yes.”

“That was a nightmare.”

“That was fun.”

“That was pure hell.”

“That was pure fun. Hey . . . you know that wasn’t ALL my fault last time.”

“The fist fight or the car chase or the girl?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“All of that. Not my fault.”

“How can you say that?”

“How can I say what—”

“How can you claim you weren’t at fault for any of it?!”

“Well, I’m not at fault for most of it . . .”

“How can you say that?”

“Easily. The words just came out of my mouth.”

“How can you think that?”

“Logical deductive reasoning. Try it sometime.”

“You were totally at fault. Including vomiting in that guy’s car.”

“Jaigermeister and Red Bull is terrible together.”

“You were ridiculous.”

“I was a victim of circumstance.”

“You walked into a bar, punched a guy, then stole his keys, his car, and his girlfriend.”

“Yeah, that was fun. And she was lovely. It was a shame I had to leave her in a Wal-Mart parking lot with her boyfriend’s car.”

“She called the police!”

“That’s because you were getting hysterical. We were getting along just fine before you brought up her boyfriend. She did give me her phone number . . .”

“We barely got away, you maniac. Her boyfriend showed up with the wrestling team—”

“But we did get away . . .”

“You need to get away from me.”

“You need to quit being so boring.”

“Boring is good. Boring people stay out of jail. Boring people live long enough to marry and pay taxes.”

“Boring is crippling. See? You’ve been sitting on your ass all day in front of your sad computer in this depressing little dorm room. Throw on a clean shirt. Actually, I’ll throw on one of your clean shirts. Mine smells like a middle school gymnasium.”

“Take that off.”

“Nope. Let’s go. You wanna do something fun.”

“No. Last time was the last time. And I think you are in need of some serious counseling. And while we’re at it, I will need you to quit eating my food and stealing all of my clean t-shirts.”

“I cannot promise any of that. Sometimes I’m going to just eat your Hot Pockets and wear your Abercrombie & Fitch stuff since it looks infinitely better on me.”

“You are a terrible person.”

“Terrible beats boring, my man. Let’s go out and have some fun!”

“Maybe if you took some personal responsibility and admitted you started that mess last time we went out, I would consider it.”

“Nope.”

“I was terrified the entire time! You smashed mailboxes with a baseball bat on the way home. Now, tell me again how none of that was your fault, either?”

“That particular incident was just—a spontaneous reaction to stimuli.”

“A reaction to stimuli? What exactly was the catalyst that drove you to smash them? Did they need smashing?”

“They did. Call it a scientific experiment.”

“Oh, please tell me. Explain the science behind decapitating mailboxes in a quiet college town. You do realize one of those mailboxes belonged to the Registrar.”

“Actually, his box was the one I was going for. We had a disagreement over my student fees this semester. Lab fees or something . . .”

“So what scientific theory were you proving, besides practicing your follow through?”

“Oh, it’s an age-old quest—what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.”

“Vandalism?”

“Sure. Vandalism. Whatever you want to call empirical studies. I mean, that’s just science.”

“That’s just you being a jackass.”

“Look. The last time we went out, all of the events of the evening were not premeditated, so not all of it was my fault.”

“You are pathological. Probably clinically insane on some level.”

“No, I’m not. I assure you, I am quite sane.”

“Then you are a psychopath.”

“Most likely.”

“Impulsive. Remorseless. Emotionally cold.”

“Check, check, and check.”

“Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m your roommate and I’m fun.”

“You are not fun. You are dangerous.”

“Same thing.”

“Admit you were at fault last time.”

“I will admit I made a few impulsive moves. In the future, I may choose differently, I agree. But that night? Not entirely my fault.” 

“Assault and battery? Grand theft auto? Kidnapping?”

“Yeah, that was fun.”

“That was NOT fun. Fun isn’t racking up three felonies.” 

“Fun is not staying home typing up a 1600 word essay for sociology class. That isn’t even a real major.”

“Either is Communication, but you are rocking it with your 2.0 GPA.”

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“You wanna have some fun. Let’s just go.”

“NO.”

“With your superior knowledge of human social behavior and patterns of social relationships, we can definitely meet some girls.”

“I’ve taken twelve credit hours of sociology, so maybe lower the bar. I’m just a college sophomore with $17.00 left until the end of the month. I doubt the girls will be lining up to talk about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.”

“$17.00 can go a long way to having a great time. I’ll add it to my bankroll, and we will get out of here and have some fun.”

“For a total of . . .”

“$17.00. I have nothing but a student meal plan card to last me until midterms . . . but I know where we can get some beer.”

“Don’t say the kegs behind the fraternity house.”

“The kegs behind the fraternity house.”

“They said they’d kill us if they found us back there again.”

“Only one way to find out . . . “

“All right. Let’s go have some fun.”


(Author's Note: If Vladimir and Estragon were college sophomores . . . apologies to Godot!)

October 06, 2021 21:04

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38 comments

Scout Tahoe
13:44 Oct 12, 2021

Deidra—I wasn’t planning on commenting but your hilarious writing has pushed me to. I loved this. It doesn’t need narration because you get to know the characters in their surroundings just by the dialog. If only everyone was as cool as you. Stay real, D-to-the-L

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Michael Regan
17:49 Oct 12, 2021

“Jaigermeister and Red Bull is terrible together.” - I couldn't stop laughing. Well done.

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Deidra Lovegren
17:54 Oct 12, 2021

We liked Goldschläger in the 1980's...each decade seems to pick their own particular poison ;)

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09:56 Oct 07, 2021

I had no idea what I was getting into with your story but I am so glad I read it. The dialogue flows so seamlessly and the voice of each character is well thought out. I could just picture the chaos of the misadventure from the previous night perfectly. There was so much to this story and I love that you did it all through dialogue. Great story.

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Deidra Lovegren
11:42 Oct 07, 2021

This is my first piece I have decided NOT to enter into the weekly contest. I really want to get back to experimenting with writing and not just looking to win. (Although there ain't nothing wrong with winning ;) It is just pure fun to create something out of nothing.

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Lucas Zhou
05:17 Oct 15, 2021

LOL This story was just so funny-the dialogue seemed perfect:)

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Deidra Lovegren
11:30 Oct 15, 2021

Best compliment ever. Thanks for the moral support!

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A Williams
18:41 Oct 13, 2021

I really enjoyed reading this! I did not know what to expect, with this story being only dialogue, but wow I was so pleasantly surprised. I began to picture the characters, the setting, the personalities, and so much just from dialogue. I love what you did here, thanks for sharing this. great story!

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Deidra Lovegren
18:45 Oct 13, 2021

It's fun to experiment with dialogue...especially with two goofballs :) Thanks for the read and the awesome comment. You've made my day.

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Kaylee Tinsley
12:21 Oct 12, 2021

I love stories like this! Dialogue is my favorite thing in a story, and you nailed it once again! *Enthusiastic Clapping*

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Bruce Friedman
20:25 Oct 11, 2021

Deidra, I admire you for experimenting with this format of using only short bursts of dialogue. However, I found it unnerving. The pace was too fast for me. I couldn’t keep up. It made me grateful for periodic interruptions by a narrator.

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Deidra Lovegren
21:00 Oct 11, 2021

I borrowed Samuel Beckett's "theater of the absurd" style. Definitely an acquired taste. Definitely unnerving, in the most postmodern way possible. :)

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Trevor Caswell
16:24 Oct 11, 2021

I can relate to this dialogue. Great job of bringing in a true conversation that we have all had in the past at some point or another.

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Deidra Lovegren
16:27 Oct 11, 2021

I think we've all had that dangerous friend who's almost gotten us killed a few times....

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Alexea Houston
13:41 Oct 11, 2021

Great writing. Lured me to the end. I think I'll have a beer...

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Deidra Lovegren
14:07 Oct 11, 2021

They seem to always taste better when stolen ;)

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Kendall Defoe
01:17 Oct 11, 2021

You clever S.O.B. (special observant bibilophile)! I love Beckett and I wish I had thought of this!

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Deidra Lovegren
14:09 Oct 11, 2021

Actually, either version of SOB is probably accurate :)

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Dorsa S.
00:56 Oct 11, 2021

uni guys are always like this. well portrayed, deidra! and the mention of the kegs behind the fraternity is especially accurate. this story is hilarious, and it was done perfectly through dialogue. thank you so much for this, great story! :)

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Deidra Lovegren
14:10 Oct 11, 2021

I was afraid our dorm room dudes would be too cliched :)

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Laura Clark
09:47 Oct 08, 2021

Read the title, had a sick feeling and chills, ended up enjoying this MUCH more than waiting for godot (I hate it so much that it doesn’t deserve capital letters). Really liked this and love the only-dialogue approach. Well done!

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Deidra Lovegren
17:18 Oct 08, 2021

Agreed, Beckett is trying at times. All times. But iconic nonetheless. Almost the antithesis of Chaucer (and we just finished The Canterbury Tales, so palate cleanser?)

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Rachel Smith
14:00 Oct 07, 2021

Very fun read! Great characterisation. Loved it.

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Deidra Lovegren
16:36 Oct 07, 2021

Thanks for the love :)

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Keya Jadav
11:42 Oct 07, 2021

Wow, Deidra! This is something I loved...probably the best story of yours I have read yet. Ok, I'll be honest, I just couldn't pull my eyes off the screen. You got some serious talent for making your stories sound so real! Totally outstanding!

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Deidra Lovegren
11:46 Oct 07, 2021

Really....? I just tossed this together last night, thinking of misbegotten youths in so many college dorms looking for trouble. (We just visited my son at college for parents' weekend, so...) That is a wonderful comment. Appreciate the good will and moral support. :) :) :)

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Keya Jadav
12:02 Oct 07, 2021

Ah, that's great! Hope your son is doin' well! It's amazing how you could pull off such a brilliant piece of work in such a nick of time. You're impressing/inspiring me with every passing work. :))

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Mae Stroshane
08:57 Oct 07, 2021

Love the storytelling all through dialogue! Each character has a distinct voice. A fun read!

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Deidra Lovegren
11:40 Oct 07, 2021

Hooray -- I was afraid our two scallywags were blending together. I have always loved "Waiting for Godot" by Samuel Beckett and absurdism as a philosophy. Thus, this parody :)

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Gerald Lanning
19:23 Nov 25, 2021

Very nice. The ending was predictable, but only because if the straight-laced character continued to refuse to go out it wouldn't be much of a story, would it? And it was clear he had plenty of opportunity to avoid his roommate. You have a great feel for dialog. And, best of all, you eschew unneeded expository text in your short pieces. Fast and humorous-good read.

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Elise Aries
16:44 Nov 07, 2021

I loved this! The dialogue between these two characters was hilarious and flowed perfectly! Great job!

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Faith Ogedegbe
04:32 Oct 14, 2021

Lovely story

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Valerie June
02:08 Oct 14, 2021

Haha, this was a real hoot to read! I really enjoyed this one, and I liked the almost comical twist you gave it. The two characters each had their own distinct voice and even without the usage of speaker tags, I could easily tell which one was which. This also sort of reminded me of the metaphorical angel and devil on your shoulder but maybe that was just me. 😅

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Katie Kanning
23:50 Oct 11, 2021

This felt like the West Coast version of A Separate Peace. Enjoyed it - related in part

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