The Old Place

It was still sometimes hard for Selene to believe she wasn't eight anymore, both her parents gone, all but one of her kids in college moving on with their lives. Someday perhaps they would make a trip like this of their own. Hopefully they wouldn't have to do ninety the whole way though. Selene knew she was risking a nasty ticket if she were pulled over, but somethings were worth paying for, this being one of them. Her aunt was selling her family home, it was just sitting there collecting dust. Selene thought it was more that she wanted to use her share of the money from it to buy her dream condo in Miami. Either way, after tonight, it would be gone, forever.

With six exits to go, Selene slowed her Camry down just enough to avoid getting pulled over. She had roughly an hour to go at her new speed, enough to relax and let her mind wander back into the past a bit. The past game back in fragmented flashbacks, splashes of a happy middle class childhood in upstate New York. She was the third child of six, three boys, three girls, theirs was a full, happy home. She never had her own room, she shared with her younger sister Gina, but she and Gina were always close, they rarely if ever fought. Truthfully her family got along generally well especially for such a large family. The only time they had disagreements was as her parents were taking their turns leaving them. Selene had grown up to understand that was fear, sadness, and the confrontation of their own mortality.

Selene felt tears wetting her eyes, thinking of her childhood, her parents was often bittersweet. They were amazing people, parents a child dreamed of, but they were gone and there was no bringing them back and Selene guessed that hurt would never truly go away, and now their home was being sold off. Too bad they hadn't left it to their children. Selene suspected her father hadn't been quite in his right mind when he left it to Selene's aunt Jane, who was cold, often manipulative, her kids were often sullen and unhappy, the opposite of her sisters children. Selene would often see them in threadbare clothes, with sunken, hollow cheeks, their thin clothes hanging off their bones, while their mother was always better dressed than Selene's own mother, their was always fat to her pretty face, her thick black hair was always pressed and well kept. Their were many holidays and family events where Selene's mother would get into screaming fights with her selfish sister. She and Selene's father always made sure to treat her cousins as her own despite their disdain for Jane, often they would send the four things home with more than their own, extra clothes, food, treats. Selene and her siblings never questioned it though, they genuinely liked their cousins, and more than a little felt sorry for them.

Selene had two exits to go, less than half an hour, she found she had to work harder not to pull the car over and break down, with every mile that fell between her and her childhood home it was becoming more and more real. After tonight, it was over, the last part of her childhood was gone forever. She decided maybe a little music might help, she fiddled through the stations until she found a nice fifties station her parents would have loved. It was a bit croonie for her tastes, but it made her feel closer to her parents. She imagined her mother sitting next to her, as she was when Selene was sixteen and just learning to drive. Her mother, Frida, was so kind and patient, the most beautiful of all the mothers in the neighborhood. She had this long black hair, longer and thicker than even Jane's, with softer, creamier skin, minus the sharp tongue of Jane also. If Selene's mom were making this trip their would be snacks, and warmth that had nothing to do with the heater. That was just Frida Piazza, she was warmth incarnate. Her smile could make you forget you had any problems at all.

Selene suddenly realized she was there, her home. She must have been on autopilot the rest of the way, she couldn't remember even turning onto her old street. Either way, she was here. For a few long moments Selene sat frozen in her seat, her parents had been gone well over five years, cancer for her dear mother, then a year later her father had a heart attack, since then Selene couldn't bring herself to set eyes on it. She regretted that of course, it was clearly in disrepair. The roof was caved in on one side, half the gutters were sagging, the yard was severely overgrown. Selene felt suddenly so disgusted with her aunt, how little care she'd taken of her baby sisters home. Remind me to tear her a new one Selene thought furiously, maybe with my fists. The witch more than had that coming, for this, treating her wonderful children like slags their entire lives, and much, much more.

Go in coward, Selene said inside her head, the cold metal key she hadn't used in years in her own warm, gloves hand. With a deep, shaky breath, she opened her car door and slowly inched her way through the cold darkness up to the door. She looked down at her hand, at the shiny key winking back at her. Her hands were shaking so hard she could hardly get the key in the lock.

"Get it together". Selene said, out loud this time. "Get this over with, you have a long drive home".

With that, Selene put the key in the lock and turned, the lock gave easy and then she was inside. Finally, after five years she was home again. Inside, it was just as she imagined only everything was shrouded in dust and sheets, thrown quite carelessly over her mothers piano, the furniture. Selene slipped the tiny key in her pocket to not lose it and slowly crept to the piano. Her hands were shaking even harder than before, she was dizzy and felt like she would vomit. It was wrong in here, it was so cold she could see her breath in little wispy clouds, there was no sound but deafening silence and the wind howling from outside. I need to sit down, Selene though desperately, or I might end up in Colorado Green Spaces with mom and dad.

She went into the spacious kitchen which now more than a little reeked of rat poop, and spoiled food, maybe milk. Her fury was growing, she itched to call her aunt and thoroughly curse her out. But would that change her mind about selling? Probably not. But, she thought suddenly, maybe I can't change her mind but my sister Margaret, their close. In fact, Jane treated Margaret better than her own daughters. With swift, angry strokes Selene sent Margaret more than a dozen photos of the entire kitchen, the living room, along with a lengthy paragraph pleading with Margaret to immediately get on the phone with Jane. If anyone could get through to the ice queen that was Jane it was Margaret. Her work done, Selene set her phone back down on the table and waited. She was feeling a lot better now that she was actually doing something about this fiasco now. Now she just had to wait, she knew both Margaret and Jane were night owls, probably a good reason they were so close. As she waited for a return text, Selene thought of one of the last Christmas' all her siblings and her beloved parents were here together.

Selene was thirty five, pregnant with her third child, her only son, Carle, no one knew about the beast festering inside her mother that would take her life less than four years later. Her mother was so strong, she fought with everything she had, until she was nothing but a pair of eyes in a bald head, hips and bony fingers, just like Selene's poor cousins. But that Christmas was magical, her mother made a goose, the house was alive and smelling of food and the piney Christmas tree Selene's brothers had hand picked themselves. There were children everywhere and laughter, her parents old record player crackling softly in the background the tunes of Bing Crosby. Never in Selene's wildest imagination could she have imagined less than a decade later the dark, empty shell of a house she would be facing.

There was a loud, vibrating hum from the table, Selene took the phone in one shaky hand. Her sister was calling her.

"Hello"? Selene said thickly.

"Selene? Are you all right"?

"No Margie, I'm not a bit all right". Selene said tearfully. "I can't believe the state of this house".

Selene expected Margaret to respond back with something similar.

"I know Selene, I was shocked when I saw it myself". It took a few moments for Selene to process what her older sister was saying.

"You've been here before? And you never said anything "?

"I'm sorry Selene". Margaret said with a sigh. "I knew how hard this would be for you, and you know Jane".

"So basically you won't be any help". Selene spat, "You are a coward". And with that Selene hung up, grabbed her purse and stormed out of the house without bothering to even lock the door behind her. She threw herself in her car and made to start it up for her long trip home. Suddenly, there was movement from her right, someone was coming out of the house, someone was in the house the whole time. With amazement Selene watched with apprehension as a shadowy figure approached her car. To her shock she realized it was her aunt Jane.

"Selene". Jane said, to her shock Selene saw that see had been crying, her eyes were red and swollen. Not once in Selene's forty three years had she seen her aunt shed one tear, even at her own sisters funeral.

"Jane"? Selene said uncertainly. "Have you been...living here"?

"Would you like to come back in for some coffee"? Jane sniffed, "I'm making a fresh pot".

Still astonished, as if she were having an out of body experience, Selene followed her aunt in the house. Her aunt had turned some lights on, while it didn't hide the mess or the stench, it at least lent some much needed worth to the place. For a long time the two women didn't speak, several times Selene opened her mouth to speak but words failed her. It was her aunt who finally broke the heavy silence.

"How was your drive dear"? She never used the word dear, not with Selene anyway.

"It wasn't bad all things considered". Selene said carefully.

"Well if you didn't feel like driving back in the middle of the night you're always welcome to spend the night here". Jane said kindly.

Selene was going to in turn kindly refuse her offer but she had never seen her aunt like this, so broken and vulnerable, she wouldn't have felt right leaving her alone.

Her aint fixed her pretty brown eyes on her niece, took her slim hands in her own gnarled, liver spotted ones and not for the first time that evening shocked Selene into being speechless.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you Selene, we were never close, because of me. Because of my jealousy of your mother, Margaret was the only one I found I could let my guard down around. Not even my own baby sis would I let in. I had an angel for a sister and I never appreciated her".

"Why are you telling me this now Jane"? Selene said bitterly, angry that Jane hadn't told her mother this while she was alive. She'd gone to her grave grieving her relationship with her sister.

"I'm dying Selene". Jane said simply, though she was still being kind and soft. Death must have taken the crusty edge off of her. Selene meant to be cold and indifferent to her aunt like she'd been to Selene's mother but then she looked down at her phone. Margaret had texted her back. She is not selling the house, her sister had texted, please, just listen.

And so Selene did, for the first time in her life she and her aunt sat up throughout the night, drinking cup after cup of coffee and getting to know one another.