Miss perfect Insta blogger always orders her coffee at the same place that I order mine . You know what that means ? it means that we are basically besties ,nah she wouldn't talk to people of lower class . We are like social media friends , eh well she doesn't follow me back . How about neighbours ? Emm except she lives in Queens neighbourhood and I live in what she would consider the slums . So we are companions , not quite since she doesn't know my name but I know hers ,her name has money attached to it , mine has Walmart coupon codes .
Miss Perfect displays her life on social media on a daily basis , it's what we commoners talk about ,apart from our overdue rent payments . Her five french mini blue bulldogs (one btw costs more than my whole family's combined income) , her big large garden full of peonies and evergreen bushes , her newest chandelier that she had installed in her kitchen . Perfect car , perfect house , perfect lawn , perfect life , did I mention she was perfect yet ?
Her life is like a movie. I wear the same old runners bought on sale ,while she has a new pair of shoes for every kind of occasion ,emotion , weather . My hair roots are in need of serious touch up and conditioning from all the years of endless heat damage , while hers are full of life ,volume , she definitely uses 24 carat gold shampoo . I clean toilets for a living , she vlogs . I survive , she lives , I drink tap water , Miss Perfect probably gets water brought to her in a jug with ice and a metal straw .
Her page distracts me from my life problems ,my failed marriage , college dropout , inability to get a mortgage , excessive weight , mental health problems , the clothes on my stool waiting to be ironed and letters of eviction piling up . I'm pathetic , she is perfect . She's got dogs , I've got a goldfish that has been laying upside down since last week . It's always sunny on her side of town, while my home's floor boards are damaged from the constant water leaks . I’m too embarrassed to invite anyone over for a BBQ , not because I am deprived of an actual BBQ but because of my overgrown weeds .
We are made of different atoms , cells , enzymes, we breathe different air , people treat us differently . She's a priority , while I'm a second option. We are two parallel lines never destined to meet . If she was a shape, she would be a love heart , making heads turn everywhere she goes. On the flip side I'm shapeless or rather a cylinder that keeps rolling down hill into the depths of despair .
A few days ago ,she quoted “, you only live once , live on the edge” . So I quit my job , because you know , YOLO . Right ? Well not quite , I don't have that kind of privilege , I use fired and quit synonymsly , both words contain i , identical , the same, that's what I tell myself . It sugar coats my reality . On the bright side ,I filled out an online form for a new cleaning job and because of my years of experience and excellent knowledge of how to wipe counters and use Dettol spray , I got hired. It offered extra payment , so you know what that means ? It means I can afford an extra coffee , consequently I get to see Miss Perfect. She might even feature me in her story , even better sign my blue withered shirt ( that's 12 years of good luck , so i've heard ) .
The boss's description was just like the others: lawyer , retired , animal lover , crystal collector , cleaning materials are provided , typical made of money , why clean the kitchen myself , when I can pay someone to do it for me . Could never be me , one can say I carry the family tradition , my great great great grandmother also cleaned toilets and polished floors . Bleach , Multi Surface Antibacterial liquid runs in our blood , my first toy was a mop bucket .
I arrived at the house minutes earlier than my shift , I roamed around it to get used of my new job .The house was bigger than my dreams, with large windows ,over the fence I managed see the garden full of peonies and evergreen bushes , I could hear multiple dogs barking , there was a shiny car resting in the porch , her front garden was perfectly cut , it all seemed so familiar , like i've seen it somewhere before . When I rang , the glass door automatically opened , revealing a gigantic luxurious chandelier . Its beauty took my breath away , my eyes began to water , I felt ashamed of myself as I am not worthy of seeing such charm . My thoughts raced in my head , who is my boss ?
I got to work immediately , put on yellow rubber gloves and began to scrub , suddenly I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. When I looked up , there she was , looking back at me .The Miss perfect .She was wearing the same blue scrubs as I was , Clorox in one hand , and in the other Mr Muscle power gel , she had the same black used runners with yellow bleach stains , her volumed hair was collected in a bun , her eyes sank with defined bags . Then she spoke to me , I blinked twice with shock , she said in her usual soft voice “ Here are some extra products , I will be back in half an hour , I just need to walk the boss's bulldogs and get her favourite coffee , will you be alright ? “ I replied astonished to see a mirrored version of myself , an imperfect human being just like me “ yes “. I pondered how I believed everything that was displayed on her blogs . I thought of how I swore to kiss her feet , the same feet made of the same cells , that make the same living , walk the same ground . There were no chariots around just her , in her simplest form . The only difference between our struggles was that hers was polished and sugar coated , mine was raw . She continued “ and btw , are you free after your shift , maybe we could go to that cafe in town “ I answered “ yeah , i'm free “ ,she dashed out the house and her words echoed in the hallway “ perfect , see you soon “ .