110 comments

Drama Suspense Thriller

This story is short. But please. Enjoy.


"Make your choice, now! Which of them will die? You have ten seconds to choose." He sneers, the gun pointed at me. “Choose wisely.”

I turn, eyes wide to the three people tied in front of me.

"Ten!" He barks, making me jump.

I look in the worried eyes of my mother, lover, and best friend. I don't know who to choose.

"Nine!"

My mother, who has raised me my whole life, no matter how difficult I was? Who helped me through everything?

Our life together flashes before my eyes. She is a single mother, and she did her best to raise me. She helped me with school, always supporting me through everything, no matter what I choose to do. I remember holidays, birthdays, and celebrations we spent together, always happy. I can’t pick her.

"Eight!"

Should I pick my lover, who cares about me more than anything in the world? My lover, who would do anything for me?

I think of our first date, at a fancy restaurant they insisted on taking me to. Out first kiss, our first dance, and everything else we've done. 

I think of the future we planned together. Do I want to lose all of that? They've never done anything wrong, in fact, they are close to perfect. I don't deserve them at all. I can’t pick them.

"Seven!"

What about my best friend, who has stuck by my side through pretty much everything? Always willing to help me, no matter the risks?

Promises, and secrets flash through my mind. Promises to never leave each other, to stay together no matter what happens. Secrets we swore to never tell another soul, whispered in darkness. Plans to get revenge on someone who had hurt the other. Comforting each other when we’re upset, no matter the time of day.

 I can’t pick any of them.

"Six!"

I can't choose. I would never be able to live with the guilt that it was my fault they died from my choice. They're all too important to me. I can't do this.

"Five!"

Wait.

There aren't only three options. I could pick myself. I'm in here too. They'd all be safe. They could all go home.

"Four!"

But they might not be able to. He might still kill them all if I pick myself. There's no reason for him not to. 

"Three!"

But...there is a fifth choice too.

"Two!"

I spin around, and yank the gun from his hand, while I kick him hard in his knee. He stumbles back, and I push the gun to his temple.

"One." I whisper, before pulling the trigger.



So, I hope you liked it! It's a little dark, but this is what came to mind for this prompt. Please give suggestions on what to add to make it longer. Thank you!

Also, here's a challenge: Write a plot twist ending in the comments. Hope you liked the story! ✌


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December 24, 2020 19:50

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110 comments

Ari Berri
19:52 Dec 24, 2020

Here's a challenge: Write a plot twist ending in the comments. Hope you liked the story! ✌️

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08:49 Feb 10, 2021

(Hey there!, I thought that i would write a part of my ending here, say if you like it! I thought that i would type the next part only if you wanted to read, by the way your flash fiction was great!, I also wrote one recently tho that was not that great) I felt the pull as the gun bounced back from the shoot and he was gone. Literally, gone. I stared at nothingness for a while before glancing towards my mother, George and max, who all were standing there without any hindrance from walking away. Mom looked disgusted, "i don't belie...

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Ari Berri
15:05 Feb 10, 2021

Thank you! This is awesome! You came up with a next part? I'd love to read it!

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03:03 Feb 11, 2021

(Ohkay, so I actually added my first part to it so that it makes more sense, by the way would you mind me asking what genre you like to read?, looks like you like fantasy cause your fantasy stories are awesome but I guess I better don't judge the book by it's cover. ) I felt the pull as the gun bounced back from the shoot and he was gone. Literally, gone. I stared at nothingness for a while before glancing towards my mother, George and max, who all were standing there without any hindrance from walking away. Mom looked disgusted, "...

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Ari Berri
15:04 Feb 11, 2021

This is awesome. It's not overly insane at all! For your first question: I like fantasy, romance, and action. Second: I don't mind either, but I think I'm better at writing short stories. I'll go re-read your flash fiction, and give feedback.

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16:04 Feb 11, 2021

Oh, I didn't want to bother you, just asked! Thank you! By the way!

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Amel Parvez
12:14 Dec 25, 2020

"i pulled the trigger but surprisingly there was no bullet in it. i looked at the gun blankly and then at the gunman, shockingly he was grinning. 'Was that a joke?' I hit the butt of the gun on his head before he could reply. he sprawled on the ground. i quickly ran and untie the three of them. before leaving that haunted building i dont know what crept into me but i just couldnt leave that man in there so i just took him with me.

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Ari Berri
18:59 Dec 25, 2020

Nice! I like it!

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Amel Parvez
09:31 Dec 26, 2020

Thnx:)

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Amany Sayed
21:16 Jan 04, 2021

From SOUE! (ur name)

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Ari Berri
21:17 Jan 04, 2021

You got it! He was one of my favorite characters.

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Amany Sayed
21:19 Jan 04, 2021

Same it was so sad when he died... :(

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Ari Berri
19:36 Jan 04, 2021

Thanks!

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Of course. =)

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NEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORYNEW STORY

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Very dark, very creepy. I like it. XD I actually have daydreams about this, where I'm stuck choosing between people. I'm glad I'm not the only one who imagines these things

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Ari Berri
17:16 Mar 09, 2021

Thank you! XD

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21:22 Jan 04, 2021

LOL the ending... I have had to do stuff like that before, although usually the other way around-- I have too many words! I don't mean defeating the villain, I mean putting in extra letters. Also, I love the plot twist!

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Ari Berri
21:24 Jan 04, 2021

Thanks! Yeah, I don't usually do it, but I couldn't think of more for the story.

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21:36 Jan 04, 2021

Yeah, word limits! (sighs) can't live with them but can't live without them, like spiders. I guess you've figured out from this that I appreciate spiders eating the pests but I can't stand all their legs. :)

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Ari Berri
21:41 Jan 04, 2021

Yeah, I can't stand spiders, but I get why we need them. Randomish question, what books do you like?

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21:54 Jan 04, 2021

Fantasy with dragons, although I can't stand those little-kid-ish stories that seem like they should be bigger. I thought Marabel and the Book of Fate would be a good, quick read for a teen writer, it was not. It was a half hour of pure lame. (sorry, people who like that book) Wings of Fire is aimed at a nine and up audience-- I cannot fathom why. The first five books involve bloodshed, murder, death, gore, and gladiator fights. However, I still love it :) The next five are perhaps the greatest dragon-story books written in the history of ...

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Ari Berri
22:01 Jan 04, 2021

Wings of Fire, yes. I've actually never thought of that. It definitely isn't for kids. My brother introduced me to the series, and we can argue about it for hours. I haven't read Endling.

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Thora Porter
20:12 Jan 04, 2021

Alternate ending: I am running out of time and options and think of the one person I wouldn't mind getting rid of. "Kill my enemy," I shout. The person holding the gun pauses, giving me just enough time to pull out my own gun and pull the trigger. As I stand over them, I smile. "There's always another option." I definitely prefer your ending, but thought I should take on the challenge. This is a good story. When I saw this prompt, I had no idea how one could write a story that takes place in ten seconds, but used the prompt very well.

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Ari Berri
20:24 Jan 04, 2021

Thank you! This is nice ending. Thanks for doing the challenge. It was pretty difficult.

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20:01 Jan 04, 2021

Super creative, I loved it! A suggestion to make it longer: Through my half-closed eyes, I see the bullet hit him in the chest, right in his heart. But he doesn't fall. Instead, he rips the bullet out in one swift motion and smiles crookedly. There is no blood around the bullet hole, in fact, there is no bullet hole... And yeah, you can continue from there if you like it! P.S. I love your name (i like asoue too) and I think we're pretty similar judging by your bio!

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Ari Berri
20:04 Jan 04, 2021

Thank you! I would make it longer, but it can only be ten seconds, so. I like this though. Who are your favorite ASOUE characters?

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20:08 Jan 04, 2021

hmm...I would say, Klaus, Jacque, and Olivia, you?

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Ari Berri
20:09 Jan 04, 2021

Klaus, Montgomery, and probably Count Olaf. I know he's the villain, but he's hilarious.

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20:10 Jan 04, 2021

Lol agreed! What was your favorite disguise of his?

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Ari Berri
20:13 Jan 04, 2021

Shirley and Coach Genghis. What about yours? Also, which book was your favorite?

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A.G. Scott
19:43 Jan 04, 2021

"Bang!" says the bold lettering on the little flag that unfurls from the toy gun. Cymbals crash, strings sing, and the walls fall away to reveal a grand gilded stage and a stunned audience. Frilly-skirted dancers come out in droves and the show's musical finale begins.

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Ari Berri
19:46 Jan 04, 2021

I love this one.

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Leo Reynie
18:28 Jan 04, 2021

When I saw this prompt the week it came out, I was curious to see what stories would come from it. Great interpretation of the prompt. I don't mind it being dark, it adds to the story. I am curious WHY this scene was happening, though. What was going on, who was this guy? Excellent cliffhanger. Great story.

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Ari Berri
19:05 Jan 04, 2021

I probably would've put more, but it was supposed to be ten seconds, and I didn't want it to seem like longer. Thank you!

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Leo Reynie
19:37 Jan 04, 2021

Course! And seriously, congratulations on having a story over the course of only ten seconds. That would be impossible for me. XD

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Ari Berri
19:40 Jan 04, 2021

It was pretty difficult to figure it out, but I wanted to get a story done.

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Leo Reynie
21:30 Jan 04, 2021

Well, well done. I liked it. And Montgomery Montgomery, reptile specialist, and temporary guardian of Sunny, Klaus and Violet.

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Ari Berri
21:31 Jan 04, 2021

You got it.

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"The would be murder gasps as blood pours from his temple. I grin wickly. Then the windows explode. more masked men come and raise weapons at us. My best friend is captured. My lover is gone. My mom is with me. What now?"

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Ari Berri
17:50 Dec 25, 2020

ooh, this ones good.

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Ari Berri
00:18 Dec 26, 2020

I'm working on the one with you in it, but I don't know when I'll finish. I'll still post it, though, even if it doesn't fit the prompt. Sorry!

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it's alright, i responding ten yrs later.

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Meera Lakshmi
17:41 Jan 10, 2021

I loved this even though it was short! It was written beautifully! :)

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Ari Berri
17:45 Jan 10, 2021

Thank you!

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Meera Lakshmi
18:32 Jan 10, 2021

Could you look at some of my submissions and give me some feedback?

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Ari Berri
19:21 Jan 10, 2021

Sure, but I might not get around to it till tomorrow. Remind me if I don't, please.

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Meera Lakshmi
19:27 Jan 11, 2021

Ok! I appreciate it :)

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Meera Lakshmi
20:15 Jan 13, 2021

Can you look at my stories, please? I'd really appreciate it :)

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Maya
21:46 Jan 04, 2021

I like your new name from Divergent!

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Ari Berri
21:46 Jan 04, 2021

You got it! He's one of my favorites.

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Maya
21:53 Jan 04, 2021

Same! He's so funny! Just curious, you know how he's divergent in the books but it never says what faction other than Dauntless he has an aptitude for. Which other faction do you think he got on his test? That's like my biggest question about the book. :)

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Ari Berri
21:54 Jan 04, 2021

Probably Candor, or Erudite.

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Maya
21:55 Jan 04, 2021

Yeah, maybe. I feel like it could be any of them really. :)

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Ari Berri
22:02 Jan 04, 2021

Probably. What are you? I'm Amity.

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Frances Reine
17:14 Jan 04, 2021

Oh this was short but a rlly rlly rlly good one.

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Ari Berri
17:17 Jan 04, 2021

Thank you!

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Frances Reine
17:20 Jan 04, 2021

no problem !

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Andrew Krey
03:02 Jan 03, 2021

I liked this story, it was like an extreme Sophie's choice! Alternative ending: POV pulls the trigger, and it just clicks, as the gun wasn't loaded. The villain smiles, and looks down at the chest of the POV. The POV follows his gaze, and sees the red laser dot of a hidden sniper, and the story ends.

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Ari Berri
14:54 Jan 04, 2021

I didn't think of that, it is. This is a nice ending.

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Andrew Krey
15:16 Jan 04, 2021

Thanks, glad you liked it lol

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The man gasps with surprise as the bullet hit him. Blood gushes out of his new wound, and he struggles for air. With a shaky hand, I removed the mask from his face. I stifle a gasp as the face becomes familiar. "Sam? Weren't you murdered yesterday?" Also, I recognized a lot of books, authors, and songs you like. My friends say I'm Moonwatcher because I'm always so quiet, and I read a lot. One of favorite characters is Tsunami because she's so brave, also being able to breath underwater and lighting up your scales sounds cool.

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Ari Berri
19:22 Dec 31, 2020

This is awesome! Tsunami is my favorite too, along with Qubli and Winter.

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Thank you, but mine's not the best. I'm not a good story writer. Do you ship Moonwatcher with Quibli or Winter? Or just Winter and Quibli? I ship Winter and Quibli-I like gay ships.

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Ari Berri
22:02 Dec 31, 2020

Quinter, totally. Also, same, I like gay ships too.

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It always funny how Winter says he hates Quibli. Quibli is the bright one, while Winter is the unsocialized one.

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Clay with Peril or Tsunami? I think Tsunami should be with Riptide, but for some reason-I feel like I remember Tsunami hates Riptide for some reason....

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Alya Kaikuahine
21:38 Dec 30, 2020

This ending is a little like Amel Parvez's: "I pulled the trigger, closing my eyes as.... nothing happened. I hear clapping behind me and whirl around. "I knew you would figure it out." My eyes widen with shock. "Dad?" I whisper." I know this ends on a cliffhanger but I couldn't really think of anything else after that. Great story!!

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Ari Berri
20:05 Dec 31, 2020

Cliffhangers are fine, this one's great!

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Cherokee Winters
17:30 Dec 30, 2020

I like this. A great choice was made at the end. I see there appears more of the story in the comments. Kind of hard to follow like that.

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Wirda Bibi
08:53 Dec 30, 2020

your name: keeper of the lost cities. he was a doctor who heales sophie keefe and Sophies friends

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Ari Berri
15:11 Dec 30, 2020

You got it!

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Wirda Bibi
17:05 Dec 30, 2020

:)

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Marcail Nevaeh
19:54 Jan 01, 2021

I was about to guess the name when I saw this....i guess I’m too late. But YASSSS KOTLC!!!

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Wirda Bibi
09:56 Jan 03, 2021

try to guess the name before me:)

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Marcail Nevaeh
23:08 Jan 04, 2021

:)

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