Submitted to: Contest #319

Grotesque

Written in response to: "Write a story about a misunderstood monster."

Fantasy Fiction Thriller

Chaka Kahn's "Tell Me Something Good," rang through the speakers of the orange Ford Pinto winding along the canyon road. Trish's open palm floated outside the rolled down window riding the air current like an ocean wave in beat to the music as she sang along. "You want me to tell you something good? My whole damn life is good!" she yelled. And her whole damn life was good! She moved to Salt Lake City a little over a month ago to start Law School at the University of Utah leaving behind her dull flat life in her hometown of Wichita, Kansas. Already she had made so many new friends and fallen deeply in love with the mountains that surrounded the Salt Lake Valley like sentinels. She had just left a BBQ at a fellow classmate's house, and figured she could sneak in a quick evening hike to cap her weekend off perfectly before starting classes again on Monday. It was a radiant day; the sun was shining, the leaves were starting to change into vibrant reds and golds, she had just found out she had aced her first exams of the quarter, and the most devastatingly handsome man ever had hit on her at the BBQ. Troy was a first year law student like her and the kind of guy that looked like he belonged on a movie screen, not existing right in front of you. He was over six feet tall with wavy brown hair parted on the side with a lock that kept rebelling by straying from the others to fall across his tan forehead. So many times as he spoke she wanted reach up to brush it into conformation, just to feel the softness of it, just to chance her hand sliding down the firmness of his jaw. His blue eyes were piercing and seemed focused completely on her. She had noticed him immediately at the start of the school year, but never imagined he would have any interest in her, yet there he was standing right in front of HER! Flirting with HER! She had invited him to come hiking with her after the BBQ, but he declined, he was helping a friend with a paper. She was initially crestfallen, but her disappointment was eradicated with his invitation to dinner next Friday.

She pulled into the dirt parking lot at her favorite trail head. It was a short hike that connected two pristine lakes, Lake Solitude and Silver Lake. Silver Lake was named for the silver mines that once flourished in these mountains. The trail was just a mild incline lined by quaking aspens and pine trees.

As she retrieved her backpack and canteen from her backseat, she noted there were only two other cars in the lot with her, a rusted blue pickup truck and a tan Volkswagen Beetle. She celebrated only having to share her trail with just a few people. There was a tranquility and clarity she found in walking alone in the mountains. However, when she made her weekly Sunday night call to her mother later, she would omit this glorious part of her week. Her mother did not approve of her solo hikes. News stories kept coming out of the Pacific Northwest of young girls vanishing from hiking trails and campgrounds. Trish had argued that there were grizzly bears in these areas and where she was hiking in the Wasatch Mountains they only had black bears and there had been exactly zero bear attacks. This was insufficient argument for a concerned mother, so Trish resigned to just not telling her about her alpine traverses.

Trish's footsteps were muffled by soft soil and pine needles as she walked along Silver Lake's north rim. Golden aspen leaves danced in the soft pine breeze. Trish loved the way they flitted back and forth like sequins on a prom dress. Birds sang and squirrels chirped. Suddenly a loud snap disrupted the tranquil forest melody. Instinctively Trish froze and listened. Another branch snapped and then rustling of a nearby shrub. She moved off the trail to stand next to a tall pine tree. Her hands gripped the rough sticky bark as she heard a low grunt. She moved to position the tree between her and the noise when suddenly an enormous dark animal emerged from the trees onto the path. It moved gracefully in spite of it's cumbersome size. Trish watched in silent awe as the moose disappeared from the trail into the willows along the lake's edge. She held her breath and her position until she was certain the moose was far enough away for her to safely carryon. "That was incredible," she whispered through a smile. Truly an amazing day.

The path turned away from the lake and headed through forest. Trish let her thoughts float from her head and weave through the autumn branches. The cool air was invigorating and she picked up her pace. She rounded a bend as Lake Solitude came into view and she paused to marvel at it. She did a half spin to fully take in the beauty of the lake and the canyon behind. As she spun she startled to see a figure standing right behind her. Gasping she stepped back tripping on a rock. The figure reached out and caught her roughly around the shoulders preventing her collision with the ground.

"Careful Trish," the figure said.

"Troy? What are you doing here? I thought you had to help a friend?" Trish inquired.

"I did," replied Troy. "But then I thought about you out here hiking all alone and I couldn't stop worrying. The mountains are a dangerous place for a girl by herself. I cancelled on my friend and had to come and check on you."

Trish was equally annoyed and delighted. Here was this handsome man coming to her rescue, but she didn't feel like she needed rescuing and so it also made him feel kind of like her mother. She decided not to tell him the latter and settled on a simple, "Well thanks."

"I can see why you love it up here," he said. "There is a real peace in the solitude."

"Yeah, I feel like I can just deeply exhale out here, you know?"

Troy slowly let out his breath to show her he understood.

A shy half smile crept up the right side of her face exposing a dimple.

"You are really pretty you know, and I don't think you know, because most girls who are as beautiful as you know it and it tarnishes them. You still have a sincerity to you."

Her dark lashes hid her green eyes as she glanced towards the ground.

Troy laughed and he took her hand, "I embarrassed you."

"No," she looked right at him now, " I'm just not good at taking compliments."

"Sorry," he shrugged, "I'm not good at withholding them." He shot her a smile that was both menacing and completely heartthrob swoon worthy. "I hear there are still some old mine shafts around here, want to see if we can find one? I can see you like serenity, but how do you do with adventure?"

"I do just fine with adventure," she beamed.

Their meet cute was interrupted by a loud snap. Troy spun to look behind him, his flirtatious smile wiped out by a concerned scowl as he scanned the trees. Another snap, and another.

"I bet its just a moose," Trish offered. "I saw one earlier."

Troy's shoulders relaxed, but only for a moment. A deep growl came from just beyond the edge of the trail, its source concealed in the dense bushes. It was not like the moose noise, this was shaky and deep and it echoed in their own chests. Trish and Troy froze. Then, Troy bolted towards the lake. Trish followed him. Together they sprinted as the sound of cracking limbs and ghastly grunting followed them. Troy veered away from the lake towards a granite slope. Suddenly a large boulder sprang from the dense tree line and collided between Troy's shoulder blades. He collapsed face first onto the ground. Trish slid to a stop beside him. He groaned and tried to raise himself, but his efforts were thwarted by a hurled log crashing between them. Trish rolled away from the shattered bark and pushed up onto her hands raising her head towards a giant shadow falling across her body. Before her stood not quite a man, not quite an animal. The creature was covered in dark gray flesh and stood on two legs, towering 8 feet into the sky. It had three large clawed toes and its arms hung just a few inches above the ground. Yellow eyes burrowed into her from behind two large tusks curving up to meet a long pitted nose. Batlike ears emerged beneath a gristly sable mane. The creature slightly crouched forward and Trish sprang to her feet. Furiously, she ran towards the steep rocky slope Troy had been heading towards. Several yards above she saw a small opening just large enough for her to belly crawl through. Desperately she scrambled up the rocks and dropped onto her stomach to pull herself through the narrow entrance. She was too terrified to look back to see if the creature was in pursuit of her or had remained with Troy. Both thoughts terrified her.

Trish crawled into the dark cavern. Carefully she stood trying to survey her surroundings. The small entrance did little to light the inky den. Inching her way deeper into the darkness, a loud clang emerged as her hips and knees collided with a large metal object. A gnarled hand reached into the cave opening ferociously scraping at the rocks and ground within its grasp. Trish flew behind the metal object which now she could tell was an old mining car. She held still as the hand acquiesced back into the open. The sound of sliding rocks tumbled above her as the monster crawled along the cliffside searching for another way inside. Beneath her hands she felt old rail ties that led deeper into the shaft. She decided to follow them. Crawling deeper into the tunnel, completely blinded by darkness, her hand brushed a hard object that rolled away from her. Following the sound, she grabbed the cylindrical object. Spinning it around in her hands, she realized it was a flashlight. It must have been dropped by someone exploring the mine. She flipped the switch, but nothing happened. She flipped it again and again and then desperately shook it. A cone of light sprung into the tunnel illuminating a skull staring back at her. She gasped and dropping the flashlight was left in total darkness again. Cautiously she retrieved the light and powered it back on. The skull was attached to a full skeleton leaning in a sitting position against the cavern wall. Next to it another skeleton reclined on the ground. Next to the two skeletons was an old red tool box. The rusty lid was marked with 12 black tally marks and it squeaked as it revealed the box's contents. It was a strange assortment of items; a toothbrush, bobby pins, a necklace, several newspaper clippings, a felt bag and four Washington state drivers licenses. There was something familiar about the names and faces on the licenses. They were all close in age to Trish and had similar features like long dark hair and wide pretty smiles. As Trish leafed through the newspaper clippings ice crept into her veins. The names and pictures on the licenses matched those of the news stories of missing girls covered by the articles. With trepidation she emptied the felt bag. Several human teeth clanged onto the bottom of the metal box.

A loud clamor echoed off the cavern walls. The noise grew louder indicating it was getting closer, but the echoes prevented any detection in direction. Trish curled up into a ball with her hands over her ears, her mind swimming in a sarcophagus of noise, confusion and terror. A large clawed foot stepped into the illuminated path of the discarded flashlight. Bent over with its knuckles on the ground, the creature completely filled the tunnel as it stared at Trish. There was a sadness and concern in its amber eyes that she could not understand. The monster did not approach, instead it just stared. A buzzing of fright surrounded her like a swarm of wasps blocking out all ability to think or comprehend, and Trish slumped to the floor.

Trish was huddled in front of her TV with a hot cup of chamomile tea her roommate Julie had made her. It had been a year since a search and rescue team had found her lying near the opening of an old mine shaft near Lake Solitude. A year since Troy was declared dead, the result of an animal attack even though they never found his body. Suddenly, ice filled her veins. Troy's face was staring directly at her from her television screen. "Today Troy Baldwin was taken into custody for the violent murder of Carly Goldman, the 20 year old sophomore from the University of Colorado. Mr. Baldwin is suspected in the murders of 15 other young women from Washington, Oregon, California, Utah, Idaho and now Colorado. We will continue with updates on this breaking news story as more information becomes available."

Trish's teacup shattered on the wood floor and Julie ran in from the kitchen. "Trish! Are you okay?"

"No," whispered Trish, "The monster, he saved me."

Posted Sep 12, 2025
Share:

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

7 likes 1 comment

Mary Bendickson
20:45 Sep 16, 2025

Not the monster one expected!

Thanks for the follow.

Reply

Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.