Greetings from the Night

M. Zavicar

7516 I-27

Lubbock, Texas 79404

Greetings from the Night

It was getting close...I could sense it. I felt quivers, gyrations, dislocations, and relocations as if the world itself was peeling back the old in order to welcome in a new era. This marvel did not touch me....not yet. It couldn’t I believed and left me with a contentment that I would be spared the obvious changes occurring all around me.

I waited patiently for anything to reach out to me. Anything calming, reassuring or otherwise familiar to me knowing that I could not explain or even comprehend any of this in my state. I was alone in thought, yet knew I was protected with a protective cocoon that would shield me enough to endure over a lifetime. Or so I hoped for. How could this be I wondered? To be so safe with such vulnerability that could soon shatter a contentment of safety and the feeling of oneness. I cradled myself into my most comforting position and fell into my familiar dreamy state.

This solemn reprieve was to be short lived. Without announcement, there came an abrupt shifting of position. I thought the Earths Poles were changing places with all the calamitous affects one could only imagine, but knew my situation was more local; more germane to me. I re-positioned myself in an instinctive reaction that complimented my world’s motion and sent my body rhythmically swaying as if I was one with a gentle ocean swell as rippling currents worked over the glassy water. I was in the dark for sure, but content with what was happening. My mental visions were constructed from feelings of calm and safety that so much of my life could and has been counting on. I could see and feel this all from my surroundings, though I knew my eyes where closed.

Another worldly event, this one more tumultuous than the last.

A pronouncement of thunder, appearing as rumblings of words I could not understand, echoed in my dark chamber. My world became more pressing as I honed in towards the direction of the thunder sounds and as they became more discernible, I could feel no ill intent, but only a calming, yet commanding sound of pressing forward and encouragement. All this echoed in my chamber.

Complimenting the deep and still unknown resonances, a steady flow of current directed me forward, where the thunder words became an unseen guide. I sensed a welcoming draw on me that pulled on me to follow the light. This apparent invitation required no effort from me to be one with.

Without sight, my mind continued to envision a portrait of where the warm currents and edging was leading me to, though the canvas remained unpainted. I perplexed over what this unknown destination would reveal to me. Would my eyes be opened up to new and fascinating world ready to welcome me? Will I find friends hoping to be found? Would I grow into a happiness or a sadness?

Suddenly a heavy stillness came about.

It persisted. My heart began to race as if my body was preparing me for some life altering moment that chose to remain an enigma and would not reveal itself to me. I embraced this changing paradigm and accepted the calming gift while ordering my pulse to stay at ease as my instincts commanded me to do so. The mood was working. My body gently swayed in the currents around me like I was adrift on an open sea with only the glassy waters to keep me company. I was falling into a contentment while being gently rocked by the swells around me.

A beacon before me did not go UN-noticed.

What lay before me was a speck of light that called for me like a distant star in the night. The light was welcoming but there was no warmth to it. At first my instinct told me to push away, abandon and reject any promises reaching out for me. I turned as much as my limited reach would allow, fighting, then as fatigue set in, placed me on the path to accept the changing times.

The walls began to cave in on me from all sides; above, below and behind. I felt convulsed and out of my element to the forces pressing from all sides. The feeling was soothingly massaging across my entire torso down to the tips of my toes. Quite eerie to experience, yet not alarming in the sense that I should fight, or fear what was happening in and around me. ‘Enjoy the ride’ came to mind as I imagined myself letting out a slight chuckle.

The thunder sounds returned.

I could hear the commotions more clear now. Thunder sounds were starting to resemble words; words I could not yet understand, but could feel the excitement that accompanied them as I closed in on the source. The bright light awaiting me was also growing larger with each passing series of sounds and rhythmic swaying of my body. Were images starting to form on the other side? This I did not know as I could only relate to the stories told to me by a wondrous voice from somewhere away, and near to me. Stories that told me of life, love and happiness. Worlds in an undiscovered world.

I was near.

My eyes remained closed to the growing light. I felt a slight chill engulf my head, followed by a warm cusping embrace that captured my tempos.

“Push one last time” I heard these words with certainty. “One last time” was the call.

I heard an exhaustive sigh from the voice that has been sustaining me. She let out an approving sigh that I could feel as the last of my body entered this new world. Before I could embrace the reality of life in this new environment, I felt a stinging cessation on my lower backside that made me instinctively gasp and cry out. I was astonished to feel the coolness of the new air entering my lungs. For a moment, I did grieve over the loss of the warmth and safety I found in my cocoon. This was only for a moment though and I began to wonder for all the joys this new world would show me.

“Its a Boy” was the last I heard before falling asleep in my Mothers arms.