31 comments

High School Romance Teens & Young Adult

It was so odd, who asks someone to meet them at the graveyard. That too at night and when it's no moons day. No moons day is a bad day.

Roxanne was a confused and weird personality, but she was weird in a unique way. Nerds are supposed to be ugly or below average in looks. But she was hot, hot not like a typical hot but she was attractive. She was a 5'2 brown girl, had raven black hair and a nice set of boobs. And you must be asking how would I know that?

Because I'm a boob expert. I would typically tell a girl's personality by looking at her boobs. And I never turned out to be wrong in it.

I had read in a sex life blog that there are 9 types of boobs. And she had the peach one. Medium, round, and bumpy.

And if you would dissect her body part and try to rate her body features. You will find everything about her is average. Her eyes are of medium size, her butt is average, her lips, nose, hand all are average. But if you put it all together, she is a masterpiece. She's so attractive like her aura is emitting universal cosmic waves.

But her weirdness is like extra salt in curry. You can't have it nor can you adulterate it. At last, you have to throw it in the end.

All the boys of our batch used to fantasize about her. And even she was easy at the beginning, she would mingle easily, she would give out her phone number easily.

In the beginning, everything would be cordial. But as soon as you go out with her on dates or movies, you would see her real side. You would understand how deep the water is running. She would start picking up fights, she would be mean, she would get irritated easily. And eventually, the boy would run away from her within 2 days.

God, I have to spend the night with her. The weather is so chilly, that I can hear the wind howling. And from a distance, I hear "position" by Ariana Grande. With each moment, the volume of the song intensifies. It's actually blaring from Roxanne's car.

She parks her car right in front of the graveyard and literally hops from the driver's seat. I rush towards her, to help her unload the telescope. We were going to stargaze in a graveyard.

She arranges her telescope beside Mr. Collin's coffin, she is indeed fearless. Then she picks out a maroon color picnic mat and spreads it on the ground. And says "Come sit down, at least it requires 2 hours for the star to align themselves". I go and sit next to her.

The wind is sour and now it's filled with the awkwardness between us.

I wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't broken her telescope lens accidentally. Then I wouldn't be in detention and I wouldn't receive punishment to be her, so-called intern. She breaks the silence

"Don't worry today is your last day of internship"

I nod with a grin.

"So what are you going to see today?" I asked

"Some planets, some stars"

"Hey, why don't we watch Venus, I have heard it's beautiful.''

"I don't like watching Venus, actually I hate Venus"

I asked, "Why what's wrong with it?."

"Actually I have made a promise to myself, that I will only see Venus if I get into a committed relationship."

And she blushed like a rose.

The awkwardness combined with silence once again knocks back into our conversation.

"You know what you can go," she says turning her head towards me.

I ask "Where"?

"To Sasha's party, you are missing your girlfriend's party."

"She dumped me" why I'm saying that to her?

"I'm so sorry..." I cut her in mid-sentence

"Don't give me your sympathy, today I wouldn't be in heartbreak if you wouldn't start a fight on our first date."

"Please don't dig it again Aryaman"

I say " I have to because at the start I felt that we had something between us. But then on our first date, you were screaming at me for wearing strong perfume."

"Why Sasha dumped you?" as usual she's changing the topic.

"Because she was cheating with me" I turn my face to see her reaction. She had a smile in her eyes.

"But why would she dump you If she was cheating on you, shouldn't be it the other way round."

"But it didn't happen like that," I said

"You know what, dark chocolate would help you with your heartbreak," and shoves a bar into my hands.

I take a bite, and I feel my emotions swirling up.

"Actually I already knew that she was having an affair with a senior. Then guilt overtook Sasha and she confronted me, but I didn't want a breakup, so I told her that I would be okay with a polygamous relationship. Eventually, she got tired from it all this bullshit, and she dumped me today"

Once again the silence overpowers us.

"Actually I liked your perfume, it reminded me of dad. My dad used to drown himself with perfume on the marriage anniversary. And after my parent's divorce, everything changed, there was no longer perfume of my dad in our home. I craved relationships but if someone would make me promises, or pamper me with things. Sudden anxiety would dawn upon me. That will this relationship will last forever? Will I be a good partner? I would get scared of the future and act all wrong. Sometimes intentionally sometimes without intentions''.

Her doe-like eyes were filled with tears. And inside me, my emotions were on edge. All of my emotions were swirling inside me.

Now I sensel the warmth in our environment, her gem-like eyes have miraculous sparks. Sparks that tell me that I'm safe, and I will be understood without getting judged. That it's not my fault at all.

Is she the one, that I have been waiting for?

I never felt so protected, right now my emotions are swirling. It's telling me to not be vulnerable this time.

It's high time, that I should reveal the real me.


I uttered "I was molested when I was 12"

"Aryaman what did you say" I heard the concern in her voice.

"I was alone in our apartment and, mom had left for work. As usual Aunt Helen would come to babysit me. But that day wasn't right for anyone. She was drunk, probably stoned. And the first thing she could do was, drag me into our apartment's bedroom. After what she had done I was devastated. I was shocked, my lips were swollen, on my right side of my lip, I was gushing blood. You don't want your first kiss to be like that''.

My mind was getting fogged, my eyes had tears in them. I was feeling that my body would go into a paralysis attack. I gathered my courage and somehow continued,

"That's why I'm afraid to be alone. I want constantly company, otherwise I get flashbacks of the entire incident".

She held my hands, entangled her fingers with mine, and kissed my knuckles.

I could sense trust in our grip, I could see comfort and love in her eyes.

She said, "I'm so sorry Aryaman."

"Even I'm sorry Roxanne, I should have tried to understand you."

Everything was engrossed in silence now, but now the silence had the scent of happiness. The scent of trust, friendship, and love.

"I think Venus would be a good choice to watch. What do you say"?.

She blushed deep red and said, "Yes, I would love to."




October 25, 2020 14:37

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31 comments

Cam Croz
14:21 Oct 26, 2020

Overall it was a good read. I was definetley suprised when the abuse was brought into the story. It seemed kinda sudden. Keep Writing! -Cam

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Pratheeksha R
17:49 Nov 07, 2020

All along I was waiting for some horror elements but I think the revealing of abuse does it. Contrary to other comments, I felt the abuse makes sense in the graveyard-setting. Although, I wouldn’t prefer it the sudden way - I would start by telling how the main character is afraid of the dark, and all that. This would come in the place of shedding light on Roxanne’s physical feature. I think that distracts the reader from the real matter to a small extent (It did for me). But, I like how your main characters in the stories that I’ve r...

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Radhika Diksha
18:03 Nov 07, 2020

thankyou so much for your feedback. Be in touch with stories and topics

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Yolanda Wu
08:59 Oct 28, 2020

Sorry for my lateness, I've finally got some free time after a hectic few days - so of course the first thing I do is to come and read your story. It was a really cute story, I loved the narrative voice, and how you described Roxanne in such a unique way - I could picture her so clearly in my head before the main character even interacted with her. Overall, it was a pretty subtle story, and I love the idea of them stargazing in a graveyard and how you connect Venus so seamlessly to love. Although since it is nearing Halloween, and they'r...

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Radhika Diksha
09:41 Oct 28, 2020

Thankyou so much for your feedback, my friend. And I felt so nice that you took out some time from your busy schedule to read my story. You are a very lovely and loyal friend of mine here. So coming to the story, yes I have been very sudden of the molest thing, I will try to add something into it. But the reason of sudden reveal was that I wanted to show that how much love Roxanne had, that you literally spill your secrets to her even without thinking. But maybe I didn't narrate that side well. I will sure make changes to it. Eagerly waiting...

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Yolanda Wu
09:56 Oct 28, 2020

Oh okay, I see what you're going for. A tip I would have for that is you could describe how Roxanne is making the narrator feel, describe how he just wants to tell her everything. I'll give you an example, that probably won't fit the context of the story, but might give you a bit of an idea. "Her eyes sparkle - bright and gem-like, and in each of the individual sparks, I see the love she holds in her. It is spilling from her. And I can't help but want to take some, hold it over my frosted heart filled with nothing but secrets. I want to tel...

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Radhika Diksha
11:14 Oct 28, 2020

ok, That's was some great sentences, Ok I got it. Can I borrow your starting lines, I felt it will suit the story better. Just tell me if I can use those lines. waiting for your story.

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Yolanda Wu
20:07 Oct 28, 2020

Oh yeah, of course!

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B. W.
03:29 Oct 27, 2020

oh wait- is this the one you were talking about? I've already read it, though I didn't really go into details like everyone else and all that

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Radhika Diksha
03:42 Oct 27, 2020

yeah even in this is good ,but actually I was talking about "all in the name of love" and "attached to a string" its my first story. And soon even you are getting your feedback. And can you give me feedback on this story? I would appreciate it

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B. W.
03:44 Oct 27, 2020

I already did give some feedback with this story a while ago, though I'll check out the other ones as well. I'm excited for the feedback :)

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B. W.
18:09 Oct 25, 2020

Hey there, i decided to check out one of your stories and I think that this was a good one ^^ though I hope that you'll continue to write more stories on here when you can, I'll give this a 10/10 :)

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Radhika Diksha
01:52 Oct 26, 2020

thankyou so much for your feedback

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B. W.
02:09 Oct 26, 2020

No problem, ya deserve it ^^ hey, if its alright, could you maybe check out a few of my stories and then leave some feedback? i'd love to see what you think.

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Radhika Diksha
02:40 Oct 26, 2020

actually I was going through it. And leave you some feedback. And please check my story" all in the name of love". Its going to be a sequel.

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B. W.
02:47 Oct 26, 2020

sure i will soon ^^

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Nilay Jha
03:24 Nov 12, 2020

There's no doubt that this is a good effort for the prompt, but I find certain loopholes. Short stories are a complete, full-circle in itself. They don't allow open pointers and definitely no extra elements. I find the focus little lacking and the reason I say this is because I'd stick to elements of eeriness of the graveyard, the purpose they're there and simple description to aid me in visualizing the characters. The description of Roxxane in the beginning paragraphs distracts the mood of the story and hints at something else. This is ...

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Radhika Diksha
06:18 Nov 12, 2020

Actually, I wasn't thinking so much about the impression the story could make while writing. I had read in an article that molesters are the ones who were molested by someone else. Hence I described his thinking at the beginning of the story. And still, he wants company, I wanted to showcase the feelings of Aryaman. And by the way, I know that I portrayed the story badly. And I have seen that you have liked my "Broken versus" series please so let me know how you felt about the story in the comment section. And I have submitted a new story ...

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Radhika Diksha
08:16 Nov 14, 2020

happy Diwali Nilay. I have seen you co write stories if you have free time can we both co-write. Want to experiment that's all.

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Nilay Jha
18:30 Nov 16, 2020

Happy Diwali to you too. I'm currently working on a sequel of a story I submitted last week. Once I complete that we can co-write.

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AJ Hensley
18:43 Nov 03, 2020

Very sweet story Radhika! I enjoyed watching how this relationship blossomed over the course of the evening, and seeing the trust that he had to have to share that information was very emotional. I always enjoy watching how characters change and morph over time...sometimes short stories make that incredible to show because of the word limit. But you did well! I also really enjoyed your imagery. Especially the phrase about "sour wind". I've never heard that particular use of the word sour before to describe an element, but I thought it was be...

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Radhika Diksha
02:19 Nov 04, 2020

Thankgod that you liked the storyline, most people didn't like it.

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Rayhan Hidayat
09:56 Oct 26, 2020

The narrator comes off as somewhat unlikeable at first but after the reveal gets painted in a different light. I thought the reveal was little jarring though, since the story seems like a normal teen romance until the abuse themes arrive. Not to mention, at the end it almost seems like she dates him out of pity, which is... less romantic. I can appreciate how awkward the interactions are, which is belieavable since they’re kids. The venus motif is pretty clever. Kudos 😙

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Radhika Diksha
11:39 Oct 26, 2020

Actually I thought that she dates him because, in a way she got assured that she will not get used in any way. And she will stand by his side. Should I change its ending? do you have any suggestions

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Radhika Diksha
11:53 Oct 26, 2020

And please give your feedback on my story "all in the name of love". I want your feedback into it please

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21:44 Oct 31, 2020

"That too at night and when it's no moons day. No moons day is a bad day." Try rephrasing this, "And it was the night of the new moon too." Doing this will cut out a bunch of words, and sound better. :) The main problem I see here is the content. The guy tells her he was abused, and then she decides to date him? It just doesn't make sense. The romance isn't there. I'm no romance expert, but my advice would be this: 1) Cut all but the essentials for how she looks. You spend a lot of valuable time on this, and it paints a negative pictur...

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Radhika Diksha
02:16 Nov 01, 2020

This review was better than a full review. Actually, if you have read, the two main characters were trying to date each other. So they are no strangers. And I know people didn't like the abuse part, but the reason to write it was. 1. I showed how after abuse people are scared to be alone. 2. Most abusers were abused, hence in the beginning you must have seen his mindset. 3.And the reason she dates him because she feels like this guy knows the value of trust and feelings. So he won't break her heart{like he knew Sasha was cheating on him, ...

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02:44 Nov 01, 2020

I thought the Venus motif was clever. And yes, I can understand those reasons, but get those into your story in subtle ways and you'll be golden. :)

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Echo Sundar
17:14 Nov 24, 2020

This story is beautiful. I like how you used the prompt.

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Radhika Diksha
17:15 Nov 24, 2020

Really! I got bad criticism for this.

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Echo Sundar
17:25 Nov 24, 2020

To each their own but I really liked the story :)

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