In my head

Urgh two more months in this room, no morning light in fact i miss feeling the sun on my skin, literally sunbasking, the heat kissing my skin enhancing that natural dark chocolate colour i already have. Hahaha i laugh out loud and it slightly echos in the tiny room i am in. Got me feeling a bit like Van Choga though, no haircut, messy clothes, Thank God for the tiny bathroom by the corner otherwise i would had definitely looked like him no questions asked.

Honestly speaking most would think it was some silly joke, an off handish crazy stunt only a reality show could think of,  you know the likes of fear factor or was it survivor, i dont really know anymore. I look at the cream walls searching for a clock then i remembered no time. All the days seem to be tge same. For entertainment i have a television set, not the fancy kind that slim and sleek no no, i have a 90s set you know the kind with a bum at the back, growing up i used to make sure i get home early so as to be able to watch different cartoons, the likes of conan, Voltron, Madeline, that little lady made me want to visit Paris, i guess maybe one day when the world is right again. First few days were exciting, on my own no one to bother me plus the books to keep me company and i really did go crazy in terms of what i consider as having fun, finished the harry potter and twilight series within a week, over zealous i tell you but what else could i do, ever since the pandemic hit i literally ran into my bunker and shut the door never looked back. In all my years on this earth i never thought i could keep myself company, mini board meetings when things go upside down, yes its a small living space but things do go wrong once in a while for control measure. 

By the far end of the bunker is my kitchenette fully stocked with tin cans that would make the tin man green with envy, he would be able to renew himself after every meal. This has been my life for the past ten months, i think of something then my thoughts start zooming and running all over the place, even i cant keep up sometimes. Right we were talking about food, nothing special really its always the same routine everyday, i used to have a timetable but it got boring then i decided to remove some of the labels from the cans, have you ever tried a surprise before? There's a time i had to cans of peas and corn for supper, it almost ended in tears, i had to wake up around midnight just to avoid fainting in my sleep! Eventually i got over it and started to look for more ways to spice up the food, noodles with cheese on bread is a master piece, though you should try it at your own risk only a few have a strong stomach that can allow such. 

So i finished the small pile of books i had, moved on to the recipe books but that was a disaster, finished the other set of ebooks i had on my tablet which i had been avoiding as it would be a sign of upcoming boredom, played board games by myself, card games then became the new hit with a bit if classical music playing in the background, i felt like the Godfather and the only missing thing was a bottle of expensive scotch for the perfect setting. Some nights i would go to bed after hitting half a bottle of gin no ice or dash as my brother used to call it, straight from the bottle for maximum effect, other days i would just sit in some corner and wallow in my thoughts leading to a bit of depression then a lot of crying plus fear of the unknown. Solitary confinement had nothing on this i tell you. I took up something called art, its a combination of pencil and paper something that is new to me...am joking, thoughts of a loner still haunt me. 

At one point i was tempted to write love letters, to an unknown destination, to some long lost lover in a foreign land, theme being that of the 60s with a hippie tone, had i known i would have had a collection of the 60s clothing stashed somewhere in my tiny prison so as to be worn for entertainment. By the way the days seem to be flying by as if someone has created a timr moving machine. Today was a good day though, after so much debate with myself and excruciating board meetings i have decided to write a book but not just some random book, am thinking along the lines of action, thriller and a liitle bit of adventure just to keep tge reader on edge, nothing too boring or scary otherwise i might as well eat my socks. Just as i was about to start my little adventure i hear a loud bang, not too loud to wake anyone up but liud enough to make the hairs all over your body stand and its not a feeling that i really like at all. I feel like i have been shocked a little bit but that doesnt make any sense, am nowhere near any electricity its quite disturbing. It happens again and this time i feel it without a doubt, someone is trying to shock me.

"Its really sad i thought he would get better", thats my daughter standing with the family doctor as they watch over me laying on the hospital bed in a vegetable state, its been a year since the accident happened now am locked in my head, my own little room with no windows, missing the sun and the cool breeze. No hope if ever feeling all that again, the year was over but this time the stay is permanent until i let go.