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Teens & Young Adult Funny Fiction

“I had a great time with you!" Heather said, holding my hand.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“Yeah.” She ruffled my black curly hair. “Your hair’s so shaggy!”

“Thanks.”

We walked up to my door.

“Well, another awesome date.”

“Yeah. Especially when you got your head stuck in that bucket!” She laughed.

I felt my face become hot. “Yeah, I felt like a total idiot.”

"Yeah, but you’re my idiot.” She kissed my cheek.

I kissed her back. “Well—”

“Jordon!” Nichole yelled.

“What?!”

“I accidentally knocked your Power Ranger into the toilet.”

 “YOU DID WHAT?!” I shrieked and looked at Heather. “Hold on a minute.” I raced in and rushed into the hall where my sister stood. “Why did you take my Power Rangers?” 

She walked in. “I was playing with them in the bathroom and set Tommy on top of the toilet cuz he was watching over the others, and I turned around and knocked him in. It was an accident. I’m sorry.”  

I sighed and rushed in. sure enough, my Power Rangers were scattered all over the bathroom. Billy and Trini were sitting in the sink. I groaned and went around, scooping my action figures up. “You are NOT allowed in my room ever again!” I marched out.

“Jordon…”

I walked into my room and dumped them on my shelf.

“I’m so sorry I took your toys.”

“Whatever…let me get back to the door!” I rushed into the living room.

“Jordon! Come here, now!”

“What now?”

“GET IN THE KITCHEN NOW!”

I walked in and saw a red-faced man holding the Kraft mac and cheese box.

“Did you put the spaghetti next to the oatmeal?”

“Yeah?”

“It should go next to the ravioli!"

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Put it back.”

“Can it wait?”

“No.”

“But, I have to get back to. “

“I almost put oatmeal in my mac and cheese.”

“So?”

“A kitchen cabinet should be organized.”

I’ve seen this before, but where?

With a sigh, I walked to the shelf and switched around the stupid food items.

“Good, son.”

I ran back. “Sorry.”

­“Is your toy OK?”

“Yeah.” 

This song is gonna get stuck inside your head played in my ­pocket. “Really?” I rolled my eyes. “One sec.” I pulled my phone out:

Dude, call me immediately!

“One more sec, I swear!” I said and called Justin.

“I’m gonna ask Betty out.”

“Great! Can I call you b—”

“Should I buy her flowers or candy?”

“Buy her whatever. I’m busy.“

“But, I can’t decide.”

“Fine! Flowers.”

“What kind?”

“Roses.”

“What color?”

“Are you stupid? RED!”

“OK, thanks, dude!”

“Anything else?”

“No.”

“Bye.” I hung up. “Sorry.”

“It’s OK. Why do you have that goofy song for your ringtone?”

“Jordon, come see my new look!” Nichole called.

“I’m busy here!”

“Come on!”

“In a minute!”

“Just come in my room.”

“Fine!” I said and looked at Heather. “Be right back.” I dashed into the hall, grumbling. I walked back in and gasped.

“You like it?” A clump of golden hair laid on the floor. White skin showed completely on half of her scalp.

“Why?”

“I just wanted to have half of my hair.”

I moaned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t deal with this now. Clean the hair up and wear…” I looked around and snatched her hat off the rack. “This.” I put it on her.

“Why?”

“Dad will freak out and blame me for this.”

“No, he won’t.”

“Just keep your hat on and stay in your room for two minutes.”

“OK,” she said as I rushed out once again and back.

“So, what I’m trying to say is—”

“MEEEOOOWW!”

I jumped and looked back.

Rocky, the neighbor’s Siamese cat, walked by.

“How did you get in here?… out!” I pointed. Rocky looked at me like I was an idiot and walked out. “So, anyway, what I’ve been trying to say is—” 

“WOOF!”

A happy Golden retriever bent down, trying to play with the cat.

But Rocky didn’t want any of that and continued walking.

“WOOF!”

Rocky hissed.

“Hey, dog! Leave him alone!” I said, and he looked at me. “Yeah, I'm talking to you!” He looked at Rocky. “No…” 

“Nick!” someone called, and the dog turned his head. A long red-haired man ran up. “Sorry about that! He saw a squirrel and took off."

“Well, he found my neighbor's cat and wanted to play.”

“Yeah, he needs a bit more training.” He grabbed his collar and hooked the leash up. “Thanks.” He tugged the leash. “Come, Nick.”

 The dog whined and looked at the cat. 

“Leave that poor cat alone and come on!” 

The dog walked off with him.

Rocky took one last look at us before running into the street and into another yard.

I took a deep breath. “Now...”

“JORDON!” Dad called.

“Oh, come on!” I said as he stormed out.

“You let your sister shave half of her head?!”

“I wasn't watching her.”

“Exactly!”

“I’m sorry.” 

“Get in here.”

“But, I—”

“NOW!”

“Be right back!” I ran in AGAIN!

“Shave the rest of her head.”

“Why?”

“She will not look like that in my house!”

"But—"

“Shave it or no computer games for a month!”

“But, she shaved it.”

“It happened on your watch!”

“Fine!” I marched into my sister's room.

“Dad wants me to shave the rest of your head.”

“But, I was gonna show my friends at school tomorrow.”

“Tough shit.”

“You shouldn’t swear!”

“Bite me!” I said, grabbing the clippers from her dresser.

“It's not fair!”

“Don’t get mad at me.”

 She ran away.

“I’ll make a deal. If you let me shave the rest of your head, I’ll buy you Mario Cart and Hyrule Legends.”

“Deal.” She came back and sat down on the floor.

I turned the razor on high and passed it over her head.

“Why can't I leave the rest of my hair?” she whined.

“Because Dad doesn’t like it.”

“But, it's my hair!”

“Remember our deal,” I whispered in her ear in case Dad was close by.

She stayed still.

👩‍🦲👩‍🦲👩‍🦲

When I shaved the last couple of hairs off and turned the machine off. “There. Done. Bye.” I dropped the clippers on the floor and ran out of her room.

“Did you—”

“Yes. She probably hates you now,” I interrupted him and ran back out for the sixteenth time! 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

“I didn’t mean… what I meant to say was, um…”

“Well...?”

“Can I go—”

“No- you're going to your room, NOW!”

“But, I have to...”

“GET YOUR ASS IN YOUR ROOM, NOW!”

“I’m sorry, dad, it's just that Heather is waiting outside, and I keep getting interrupted.

“Oh, why didn't yiou say so! Go!”

“Thank you!” I hugged him and ran outside. “Heather?”

“What?”

“All I wanted to say was… have a great night!”


April 16, 2021 19:07

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2 comments

Hassan Amhaz
11:38 Apr 20, 2021

Great one! I pity Jordon 😂😂

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Kanika G
01:31 Apr 23, 2021

This was a good one. I enjoyed the humor. Well done!

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