As soon as I had touched the divorce papers in my hand, I really felt the necessity of going to the supermarket, a block away from the court building.
- I think it is a good idea to take some bread, coffee and perhaps some milk home - as it was around five o'clock of a freezing winter afternoon.
So I got into, and started to choose all the items I needed.
- but there is no milk - I said, a bit disappointed
well , anyway, I have the bread I want to buy and instant coffee for keeping it in a termic bottle, so I could drink it the whole working shift, one hour ahead from me.
I opened the backdoor of the house, and prepared some coffee for the termic bottle.
My sister in law came in, waving her just washed blond hair for the Christmas supper.
- what's up, sister Susy? - she asked me, smelling the luxurious scent of coffee spreading all over the kitchen.
' I asked for the divorce. I wanted it , so, I am more than happy.
' sure. how about pensions
I am going to have it for personal expenses as we had no kids. Is not much, but it helps..
- So, I think I have to congratulate you - kissing me I my chubby cheeks..
- Especially because I am officially divorced right now - I said to my sister, Marion, who showed me a little smile between her tight closed lips.
- are you o.k.because of that ? - she asked me, taking the bread i bought from the market
, and putting it on the table, exactly beside the coffee termic bottle.
- well , maybe we should do something .
yes. you still have time so sit and have a ni e cup of coffee.
- yeap !
She scrambled the places of the cups, and put them beside her, solemnly saying :
- I have one idea. it will take just ten seconds of your precious time.
- what is that?
- let me explain ...
Anx she started to explain the whole thing.
- if is easy, and you can make money .
She was laughing a lot while speaking, so, I could not understand a thing she said.
Af the end of the explanation, I looked at her with my ordinary question mark face.
She even made some demonstrations, using the bread and the coffee.
- if is just a game. Don't get nervous - she said to.me,
Fine, so let me check out if I understood the whole thing : I will have to take some coffe from the termic bottle and take a loaf of bread for my breakfast and help myself without pouring a single drop on the table ?
she must be nuts - I said to myself, considering that I do not like coffee and I do not eat just one loaf of bread but two.
Or , thinking a bit more about it, she could pro ably do it.
but not me .
But ,.let me try, as I can make a ten dollar bill, freely.
- fine. ten seconds. - I said to my sister in law
-- starting the countdown, three !, two ! , one !
so I took the termic bottle, and helped myself with some coffee
- at the count of one, I will do it .
At two , I will go it, at three, I will do it, at four I can do it, and also at five seconds, I can do it.
so I still have five seconds left - I said to myself , keeping the positive thinking mind and trying to convince to myself that I was going to win,
I will do it, I will do it , I will do it - repeating the mantra without taking my eyes off the table .
But I realized that my hands were shaking in a slight tremor .
Furthermore, i thought that a damned drop could fall at any moment and send all my efforts to hell , oh shit! , and if it happens, i loose the bet.
loose the bet?
what is to loose the bet ? ' that question came to my mind, twisting my solid way of thinking and throwing it to the trash can of my not so developed but in reality broken - yes, broken after a separation - heart.
my forehead started to sweat, oh no! that is too bad!
but even worse is too fell that my fingers were sweating too.
if it goes on like this, I am gonna loose !
I took a look at the watch that was hanging in the front wall .
it was going to tickle the next second ! oh no!
why am I so incompetent? - I asked to myself, thinking that , after all, it was such an stupid thing to do.
and if I loose, what happens next ?
Am I going to be a better person because of it? or, maybe, I am going to loose my personal integrity and die after that ?
Or nothing is going to happen???
I think that nothing, absolutely nothing is going to happen, seriously.
That was just a game.
A funny one, maybe, but ?, just a game!
I do not need it - I reached the conclusion that decided the destiny of the next move that I needed to do : taking the bread out of the plastic bag.
Should i do it ?
six - should i do it ? opening the plastic bag
seven - should i do it ? trying to reach a loaf of bread, but almost taking my hand out of the plastic bag.
eight - i finally made up my kind and took a loaf of bread.
no e, I took a bite of the bread and swallowed it.
ten , I sipped the coffee.
yes it was a question of defending my pride and honourability that my ego could not overcome at all.
And, more than that, j realized that i did not needed to win, but a satisfaction was important for my ego in that moment.
You reader, may probably want to ask me what exactly I did after that moment.
It was not an easy decision, as I had to fight against something so difficult, as the all mighty ego is.
-you do not have to loose - it kept saying to me, with a fearciful voice that could really force me to win, despite the fact that there was another inner voice repeating that it was not important at all.
So, I took a decision.
Z difficult one.
And took my cup of coffee to put it on the table and made coffee squirt j,ust a little, on the table.
The reader may probably ask me why I have done that
Firstly, I think if was a decision in favour of my family ties.
And secondly, it was Christmas.