As soon as I had touched the divorce papers in my hand, I really felt the necessity of going to the supermarket, a block away from the court building.

- I think it is a good idea to take some bread, coffee and perhaps some milk home - as it was around five o'clock of a freezing winter afternoon.

So I got into, and started to choose all the items I needed.

- but there is no milk - I said, a bit disappointed

well , anyway, I have the bread I want to buy and instant coffee for keeping it in a termic bottle, so I could drink it the whole working shift, one hour ahead from me.

I opened the backdoor of the house, and prepared some coffee for the termic bottle.

My sister in law came in, waving her just washed blond hair for the Christmas supper.

- what's up,  sister Susy? - she asked me, smelling the luxurious scent of coffee spreading all over the kitchen.

' I asked for the divorce. I wanted it , so, I am more than happy.

' sure. how about pensions

I am going to have it  for personal expenses as we had no kids. Is not much, but it helps..

- So, I think I have to congratulate you - kissing me I my chubby cheeks..

- Especially because I am officially divorced right now - I said to my sister, Marion, who showed me a little smile between her tight closed lips.

- are you o.k.because of that ? - she asked me, taking the bread i bought from the market

 , and putting it on the table, exactly beside the coffee termic bottle.

- well , maybe we should do something .

' something?

yes. you still have time so sit and have a ni e cup of coffee.

- yeap !

She scrambled the places of the cups, and put them beside her, solemnly saying :

- I have one idea. it will take just ten seconds of your precious time.

- what is that?

- let me explain ...

Anx she started to explain the whole thing.

- if is easy, and you can make money .

She was laughing a lot while speaking, so, I could not understand a thing she said.

Af the end of the explanation, I looked at her with my ordinary question mark face.

She even made some demonstrations, using the bread and the coffee.

- if is just a game. Don't get nervous - she said to.me,

Fine, so let me check out if I understood the whole thing : I will have to take some coffe from the termic bottle and take a loaf of bread for my breakfast and help myself without pouring a single drop on the table ?

she must be nuts - I said to myself, considering that I do not like coffee and I do not eat just one loaf of bread but two.

Or , thinking a bit more about it, she could pro ably do it.

but not me .

But ,.let me try, as I can make a ten dollar bill, freely.

- fine. ten seconds. - I said to my sister in law

-- starting the countdown, three !, two ! , one !

so I took the termic bottle, and helped myself with some coffee

- at the count of one, I will do it .

At two , I will go it, at three, I will do it, at four I can do it, and also at  five seconds, I can do it.

so I still have five seconds left - I said to myself , keeping the positive thinking mind and trying to convince to myself that I was going to win,

I will do it, I will do it , I will do it - repeating the mantra without taking my eyes off the table .

But I realized that my hands were shaking in a slight tremor .

Furthermore, i thought that a damned drop could fall at any moment and send all my efforts to hell , oh shit! , and if it happens, i loose the bet.

loose the bet?

what is to loose the bet ? ' that question came to my mind, twisting my solid way of thinking and throwing it to the trash can of my not so developed but in reality broken - yes, broken after a separation - heart.

my forehead started to sweat, oh no! that is too bad!

but even worse is too fell that my fingers were sweating too.

if it goes on like this, I am gonna loose !

I took a look at the watch  that was hanging in the front wall .

it was going to tickle the next second ! oh no!

why am I so incompetent? - I asked to myself, thinking that , after all, it was such an stupid thing to do.

and if I loose, what happens next ?

Am I going to be a better person because of it? or, maybe, I am going to loose my personal integrity and die after that ?

Or nothing is going to happen???

I think that nothing, absolutely nothing is going to happen, seriously.

That was just a game.

A  funny one, maybe, but ?, just a game!

I do not need it - I reached the conclusion that decided the destiny of the next move that I needed to do : taking the bread out of the plastic bag.

Should i do it ?

six - should i do it ?  opening the plastic bag

seven - should i do it ? trying to reach a loaf of bread, but almost taking my hand out of the plastic bag.

eight - i finally made up my kind and took a loaf of bread.

no e, I took a bite of the bread and swallowed it.

ten , I sipped the coffee.

yes it was a question of defending my pride and honourability that my ego could not overcome at all.

And, more than that, j realized that i did not needed to win, but a satisfaction was important for my ego in that moment.

You reader, may probably want to ask me what exactly I did after that moment.

It was not an easy decision, as I had to fight against something so difficult, as the all mighty ego is.

-you do not have to loose - it kept saying to me, with a fearciful voice that could really force me to win, despite the fact that there was another inner voice repeating that it was not important at all.

So, I took a decision.

Z difficult one.

And took my cup of coffee to put it on the table and made coffee squirt j,ust a little, on the table.

The reader may probably ask me why I have done that

Firstly, I think if was a decision in favour of my family ties.

And secondly, it was Christmas.


December 25, 2020 22:59

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