Only Kidding Around

Mary-Anne Grant was a woman on a mission. Her mission was to give birth and go home in the span of ten hours or even less. Ignoring the fact that she had been in labour for several hours now, she figured it was time for the baby to be born, and she was determined to present her husband with a bouncing baby boy and rub that in her neighbour and long-time rival's face. Just because Caroline Walter had given her husband two baby boys didn't eliminate Mary-Anne from her neighbourhood "I can raise better children than you" club. Not that such a thing was official, it was simply an unspoken rule that as a suburban housewife you were required to produce one beautiful girl to marry to a rich, and at least two boys to carry on the family legacy. Mary-Anne had produced four beautiful girls (in the span of six years no less), while Caroline had taken ten years to give her husband two children.

Leaving the hospital exactly twenty-two hours later, Mary-Anne held in her arms a sweetly sleeping baby girl. And despite being born on the same day as Caroline's youngest, Mary-Anne felt there was something special about her little Josie.

By the time Josie was two years old, she was the terror of the neighbourhood babies. Silent as a mouse and twice as fast, she had already been running for eight months and left most babies her age in the dust. The proud possessor of eighteen teeth and six words, one of which was the dreaded "No", little Josie was Mary-Anne's pride and joy. No baby had ever been so easy to deal with. She slept through the night by seven months, something her sisters had failed to do until at least fifteen months. She was easy to please, happy to help out with anything and the most adorable child anyone had ever known. By three months she had even charmed Caroline into loving her (a feat Mary-Anne had considered impossible), and she had all the older boys in the neighbourhood following her around to "protect her". Really though, her charm was irresistible, she had blue eyes and a dimpled little grin that shone with mischief and she knew how to use it.

Little Tommy Walter next door loved her with all his toddler heart and had since he was eighteen months and meeting her for the first time. Mary-Anne and Caroline had been drinking tea together when Tommy announced to a then three-year old Josie that he was gonna marry her so she couldn't "gwow up and weave me all awone". Mary-Anne spat out her tea so hard she watered the geraniums near the sidewalk. Caroline laughed at her.

"Oh Mary-Anne, he's only kidding around!"

Mary-Anne was tending to her baby boy, the pride of the whole family and personal favourite of all his sisters, when Josie announced that she wanted to be an explorer and she was going to explore the whole world. Tommy interrupted.

"Josie, you can't leave me. If you wanna go explore, you'll have to hold my hand the whole time." Josie looked thoughtful.

"What if I need to pee?" She asked and Caroline nearly had a heart attack at Mary-Anne's bug-eyed look.

"I'll look the other way." Tommy replied, all chivalry and gentlemanlike. Mary-Anne uttered a little scream of dismay, and her beloved John turned to her.

"Oh relax honey, they're eight and only kidding around." But uneasily in her mind sat the idea that her girl was going to be a woman grown and already in love before she could blink. Suddenly the hairs on her head seemed very grey, and the beautiful baby girl who had cooed and giggled so easily as a baby seemed so wise and untouchable. Mary-Anne's heart ached with something, she couldn't define.

Tommy was a carpenter, a boy turned into a man, off to earn his fortune in his chosen trade. He still came over on Saturdays to say hello to his favourite neighbours. Josie was almost home from a date, and when she came through the door huffing and puffing, furious with the stupidity of her latest admirer, Tommy stepped in.

"Boys are stupid. All they do is stare at me when I walk away or try to take peeks when I bend over. I've got a job and a life doesn't that matter more?" Mary-Anne went to reply but she was blocked.

"Well Jo, maybe you should try dating a man instead." Josie laughed.

"I don't know any men." She replied.

"Sure you do, Jo. I'm eighteen, I've got a job and I'm saving up for a house. That makes me a man, don't it?" Josie considered it.

"Well I guess it does. But I'm not dating anymore, unless the guy wants to marry me at the end."

"Remember when you were three, and I said I'd marry you? Maybe I would." Tommy replied with a teasing grin and Josie laughed.

"Maybe I'll marry you, but you better watch out in case you get what you want!" Mary-Anne choked down a wild laugh, and Tommy looked over.

"Don't worry Mrs Mary, we're only kidding around." But as they disappeared outside to the veranda, sitting on the swinging sofa and laughing together, Mary-Anne could only see them as a couple, facing a future together. The grey hairs got seemed like white strands, the wrinkles and lines seemed so much more prominent. The little girl was gone. In her place, the beautiful Josie was a woman grown and ready to be courted and plucked up like the beautiful flower she was.

The ache in her heard grew deeper and the tears in her eyes prickled until they tumbled down her cheeks like a cascading waterfall. Three daughters were engaged, one was already pregnant and due to be married in a month. Her son, her only boy was eyeing the opposite sex like a treasure waiting to be plundered and the girl of her middle-aged hopes and dreams was waiting for that treasured moment when her love could shine bright forever. John heard a low sob and came into the kitchen.

"Mary?" He asked, and she pointed out the window.

"Look at them." She said with a small sob, and he glanced out the window, seeing nothing special.

"It's only Tommy and Josie." He replied and Mary waved her hand wildly.

"No, John, look at them!" And John looked. In a flash the little innocent girl he was saw was gone. His baby girl, last of the little girls of his fatherhood, the sweet little thing was blushing tenderly at Tommy, and in that moment he knew that he was forever replaced in her heart. He was no longer her number one man, no longer the example she looked up too. He was second-best now, and his heart beat a queer ache as he realised Tommy was her number-one now.

"Why did we ever worry about boys? Tommy was always there." He whispered and Mary clutched his hand and smiled happily through her tears.

"Our baby girl is grown up." She replied, and John sat down beside the kitchen cupboards.

"Oh Mary, I'm not sure I can handle this. I knew someday she'd be grown with a man of her own, but it's too soon." He moaned softly, and Mary knelt beside him.

"You'll always be her daddy. She'll still turn to you." She replied tenderly and he shook his head.

"No, she won't. She has Tommy now. I'm second-fiddle forever more. I can only hope I was a good father to her. I hope she never has to worry about Tommy being faithful." Mary shook her head in turn.

"Oh John, you've been a good father to all our kids. Every single one of our daughters has had a good example of how they should be treated by the way you treated me and them as a husband and father. Besides, you'll always have Jim. When he marries, I'm no longer the main woman he turns to. I'll no longer be the comfort to my baby boy, I'll have to sit on the sidelines while he turns to his wife for all his needs. This is the way it's supposed to be John. We're supposed to let them go."

"I know that honey, but sixteen is too young."

"Oh sweetheart, it's Josie. If I know her, she won't be married till she's gone over every last detail with Tommy. That could take years." But it didn't.

Tommy and Josie were engaged by the time she was seventeen, and when the party was in full swing, Mary-Anne slipped upstairs and cried her heart out with bittersweet tears for her baby. She didn't hear Josie slip upstairs until she saw the sweet blue eyes before her.

"Mum, are you ok?" She asked.

"No, darling. My baby girl is all grown up and leaving me. And someday when you have a baby girl grown, you'll feel the same." Josie smiled wistfully.

"I need your advice Mum, I don't want to get married with knowing how to be married." It was the best thing she could have said. Out came all the years of wisdom, the tips, the anecdotes, the advice as sound as it had ever been. In those months of preparation, of finishing high-school, of working frantically at her job while Tommy worked his butt off to get a place for them, in between all that she soaked up the time with her mother like a sponge. Her sisters, married and engaged relished the opportunity to be useful.

Anita, married with a beautiful baby girl of her own, and Liesel, married and pregnant, gave her plenty of advice on pregnancy and marriage, anecdotes mixed with their mother's. Deborah, Melanie and Josie all did their best to pretend they were absolutely grossed out, and little Sarah was passed around the girls for love and laughter. In those moments of tranquility and sweetness, when they were giggling and grinning, Anita holding her beautiful girl, at least one of them would look at their mother and see the bitter-sweet smile on her face that they didn't understand yet. Anita would be the first to feel it.

When Josie, spinning around the room in a creamy-white dress, laughing and giggling like a maniac exclaimed that if all little baby girls were as sweet as Sarah, and all little boys as cute and cuddly as William, she would happily be pregnant forever; when Anita looked over at her mother and saw the sweet wistful smile on her face, she understood. Once you become a mother, you never stop being one. It never mattered that you had finished child-bearing and child-rearing, your babies were your babies forever.

When after the wedding rehearsal, two days before everyone would disperse, Anita sat in the room with her mother and watched as she held and smiled at all of her daughters, cooing at her grand-children, and finally turning to the bride and wishing her all the best forever; it finally broke to everyone that the girls were leaving and moving on. The chapter into adulthood, first broached by Anita, was swiftly being filled up, and Josie would leave it ajar for Jim to follow through before that door was closed forever. Not until ten o clock that night did the girls stop talking, not until babes were long abed and the menfolk were clamouring at the door for bedtime to come swiftly did they break apart and go to bed, shedding a tear for the past and breaking out a soft smile for the future.

Mary-Anne sobbed that night into her pillow, a heartbreak that no loving words from a husband can ever heal. She would only ever cry this hard again when Jim led his own bride away. The first happy tears for her eldest had been swift, now came the realisation that her motherhood chapter was closing, and opening into other doors. She had to watch from afar as her babies grew other babies and made lives in their nests.

For Anita, living two hours away in a country town with a mechanic husband and another child on the way. For Liesel, struggling with her first child, growing into her marriage with her accountant husband. For Deborah, engaged for eight years, moving across a whole continent to be with a man she'd met years ago and a job that was as intense as she was. A wedding that would be held over there, far from all her family. For Melanie, studious and sensible, with a long glorious career ahead of her. For Josie, soon-to-be-wed, her baby girl, joining with her husband and going away for a honey-moon. Maybe she would stay close by, but maybe she wouldn't. For Jim, twelve years old watching all his sisters go, smiling through the pain of missing his closest sibling. For the future he had ahead of him, maybe with a young woman, but maybe not. His dreams were forever changing and him with them. It was only a matter of time.

At the reception as Josie and Tommy laughed and danced around, and everyone congratulated the newlywed couple, John took the time to make another speech hoping for more grand-children with wink that set everyone laughing. Good-naturedly Tommy argued with Josie about the number of children they would have. Witty banter flew everywhere until Tommy said "Well maybe I'll have ten children."

"Well maybe you will, but I might give you doubles, so think about that mister." Mary-Anne choked on ḥer laughter, and the double shot of vodka, and Josie grinned at her.

"Relax Mum! We're only kidding around."

It took ten years to settle down. Ten years and Mary-Anne sighed, cried and laughed as her baby boy turned into a young man with hopes and dreams. His radiant bride was swept away to a foreign country, and Mary-Anne did not see her little Jim until he had four children to show to their granny.

Years flew by, those grey hairs multiplied and the empty nest seemed ever emptier with each passing year, and when Sarah was finally getting married, and Mary-Anne sat down with her girls. The matriarch of three generations. It was then they heard the argument. Josie's girl, Lillian arguing with her third cousin, Henry.

"I betcha I can kiss any girl I want!!"

"Well ya can't kiss me!!"

"I betcha in three years, I'll be kissing you and you'll like it." Henry retorted and Lillian grinned, all fourteen years old and full of spirit.

"If I win, you have to pay me five hundred dollars." She replied, and Henry laughed.

"Fine, but what do I get?" He asked, and Lillian smirked.

"You get to kiss me, didn't ya hear?" She replied, and Josie choked on a piece of pie and recovered, staring in dismay. Mary-Anne leaned forward with a twinkle in her eye.

"Relax Josie darling. I think they're only kidding around."