Oh, fuck me, where's that chocolate milk? Come on, shit. Whole, organic, soy, two percent, skimmed, raw...What the fuck is rice milk?!
<Hey, where do you keep the chocolate milk? Hey, is someone in this section? Hello, where you at?>
Goddammit the one time I need a zit faced punk to talk to me… These fucking kids don't give a shit anymore. If you can't be good at this job you might as well stay on your computer all day; no people skills whatsoever.
<Hey, come on now. I require some fucking assistance, please.>
Candyass motherfuckers. Christ, that wind is picking up. It's gonna tear the roof of this place.
The wristwatch glows fluorescent green.
My shift starts soon. Perfect, another day in Paradise. I'll freeze to death. Better get some hot coffee.
Footsteps echo on polished concrete floors. Faint voices in the distance. Male and female.
Sounds like a party. I bet they're smoking pot, fucking teens. What's that noise?
Footsteps echo on the floor.
Is that a cat?
<Hey, stop that! Leave that cat alone! You hear me, motherfuckers?>
Chanting and screams intensify.
<Hey, cut it out. I'll split your fucking skulls!>
A high pitched scream. Loud sprinting, heavy panting, the thumping of produce hitting the floor. All of a sudden it's pitch black.
<Ah, fuck! Grr! I'll kill you! Ughh!>
Bright white light pierces the darkness. He drags one foot on concrete floors, frantically moves his flashlight from aisle to aisle.
<Where are you? Come out you little shits!>
Breathing heavily, he wipes stinging sweat. Turns a corner.
<No...what? It can't be…>
Breathing intensifies. Hands are shaking.
<No God, please...Don't…>
One foot limping, he inches forward. He's wailing, tastes blood in the back of his throat. Safety click echoes.
<Oh God, please, no! Dispatch! Answer me!>
Static on the station.
<What have you done? You fucking monsters!>
<I'll kill you...You're dead you hear me? Oh God no…>
Sobs. Looks at the circle. Steps in blood. Bends over and covers the baby with his jacket.
<You animals! You're dead! You won't make it out alive.>
Come on old boy. Get your shit together. You're gonna have some fun.
Breathes in deeply, holds a flashlight under his gun.
You gonna have some fun tonight.
Starts going through aisles, listening carefully.
<Where are you? Come out. Let's talk about it.>
Checks magazine. Fully loaded.
<Just come out. You won't find your way in this darkness.>,
Shit, the exit lights must still be working. Gotta move fast.
<I'm a cop. I can get you the help you need. Are you listening? Are you the parents? I get it; it's tough raising kids.>
Grips the handgun tighter. A notification jingle and the screen lights up two rows in front. Fires in that direction. Crouches over her body.
<Where is the man?>
She's bleeding out.
<You can't talk? That's ok…>
He places his thumb inside her neck wound and tears flesh away.
<Yeah, buddy, you hear that? I'm having fun with your girlfriend. Come join us.>
Door rattles in the distance, followed by cursing. Executes the woman with a gunshot to the face.
<Where are you going, buddy?>
He arrives at the front doors.
<Oh man, look at that. We're locked in. This here is bulletproof glass. Hey maybe if we work together we can push past that mountain of snow…>
Changes to a full clip.
<I gotta say, that was a clever move. Leave the bitch as bait while you make a run for the exit. What did you text her, an emoji?>
A rattle in the distance.
<They lock the fire exits. I know… a safety hazard. I'll get the inspectors here first thing in the morning.>
Drags one foot on concrete floors. Slowly he makes his way through the aisles.
<It doesn't matter now anyway. When the power comes back on there's no place left to hide.>
Slowly the cop walks to the meat section.
<Just one question… Why the fuck would you and your shitty girlfriend travel in a blizzard to a supermarket to kill your baby? Why not do it at home you sick fuck?>
Checks behind the deli display.
<Why kill the baby, psycho? Put it up for adoption. You take pleasure in killing defenseless children, you little shit? Oh, I wish I could take you in alive. They'll tear you two new assholes in prison, you pussy.>
<Fuck you, pig! You know nothing!>
<Oh I know you're a bitch. Come and face me.>
Makes his way towards the meat processing area.
<My master will grant me life.>
<Fuck your master. I'll help you meet him, just come out.>
<I'll kill you, pig!>
<That's what they all said, shit-eater.>
A man rushes from his right side, stabbing towards his face. Strobe lights flood the area. Wheezing fills the deafening silence.
<That's right, suffer. My face is the last thing your dying eyes will see.>
The man coughs, convulses on the floor.
<Yeah there you go; bleed out. Do you see your master yet?>
<Death is too good for scum like yourself. You should burn in… >
Puts one bullet through the man's skull. Limps over to the lighters. Lights a mop and holds it under a sprinkler. A minute later that single unit bursts open, showering the cop. Moments after the fire alarm kicks in.
That should alert the boys. It's gonna be a while until they dig through that snow. Ah, my leg is throbbing.
He unwillingly makes his way to the circle and kneels beside his jacket.
<It's ok little one. I got them. They won't hurt others anymore. >
He tears up again.
<I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. This should have never happened to you. It's not your fault you were brought in this fucked up world by your fucked up parents. Don't worry I'll make sure you get a proper burial. >
Lifts up his jacket.
The cop methodically searched everywhere. He was determined to bury the child; all of it.
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I loved it. Great story. Keep writing.... Would you mind taking a look at my stories too?
Well...this was my absolute favourite story I had to read for this competition! Where to start? I loved how clearly the character's personality came through in the dialogue and the narration itself whilst many other writers' narration feels quite bland. The fast pace here created an insane amount of tension, but it was that Edgar Allan Poe-style tension which rises slowly throughout the story, but subtly rather than through clichés or painfully obvious techniques. Despite the intense topic, you got the balance between macabre and gratuit...
Thank you, Alia, for your kind words. It's quite a lengthy and in-depth review. I strongly appreciate it and will return the favor!
How could anyone not read with a title like that. Quick and intense story good job. I liked all the dialogue and fast pace
Thanks for reading, Sarah!
So metal! I chose the same prompt with a horror spin, but it doesn't have the same level of tension and terror as your writing! Very inspirational, excited to see what you'll do next!
Disconcerting to say the least. Well written and perfect pace. Definitely a contender. I chose the same prompt. I’d like to know what you think.