There’s more than nothing

Darkness that’s all there is nothing more nothing less it feels as though i’m trapped into my brain and no matter what I just can’t get out. The air tonight was so thick I felt as if it was pushing me back into the cold rough ridges of the brick building at least I think that’s what i’ve been trying to keep my back stable on. I felt sickly as the shiver took over my almost bare body the most sensation I have gotten so far to remind me that my senses are still one to call my own and I haven't gone completely insane from not seeing people for who knows how long. Alone in this world with no more sound around me. Everything just seems so dead no more laughter from outside of my ledge from the little window I was allowed during my treatment. The silence is becoming too much for me to take everyone is gone even though the wind has left me alone in this cold dark town. 

Like why is it that i’m always alone where did this start, am I meant to be punished is that why i've always been alone. Maybe in my past life I have done someone wrong and this is me getting what I deserve, yeah that’s definitely the case. Only getting punished maybe once I serve my time everything will be fine. Honestly I should be used to being alone when I was born I guess my parents didn’t want me so i've been in the system my entire life going from home to home nobody wanting a sick child who can’t even be around people without even freaking out so sooner or later they all just put me away. 

It’s been a few hours I think since I have been sitting on this wall honestly nothing is changing I can only assume by the account that was water that was dripping is taking longer than before to make it’s sound and i’m not sure if i'm losing my mind or maybe it’s just been so long and i’m starting to get adjusted to my environment and I can see shapes starting to form in the face of darkness. Not just any type of shape it looks like it could be the size of human bodies but their forms just look so deflated so maybe I'm wrong. If I can just get enough energy to push off from this wall and take a look at the closet lump then maybe I can finally put my brain at ease and start to get somewhere but this wall. Maybe even find some clothes then these old rags my caretakers gave me before everything went dark and I ended up in this twilight zone. 

Nothing there is no one here those lumps of things I thought was maybe body’s was just random forms of some hard cold material clumped together. Must get moving and have to find some type of food anywhere that's too silent I can’t take it anymore. There’s a loud crash off in the distance followed by a low growl but this was no ordinary growl it felt as if carried within that growl was the cries of all it’s victim’s that feel before it’s very embodiment and that was something you did not want to cross. After being in the dark for so long Ivan has grown accustomed to being in the dark that she can see a few objects efore her and enough to feel along the walls and try to get somewhere. It’s been maybe a few blocks Ivan feet has been dragged across the platform so much the soreness had stopped about a few blocks ago. But none of that matters now as she comes to a sudden stop surprise to see what looks like a light in one of the buildings. Just then in that moment the silence is no more the wind makes all  presence known as it carries over Ivan’s scent to the beast and it begins to proceed.

It’s a candle just one candle in this dark room no one else has to be someone else in here how else would the candle have been lit. For some reason Ivan felt as if the building had a sort of similarity to one she was in before but the rooms were past any point of recognition, “Hello is anyone in here”, Ivan continues on her search to find someone or any sign that someone was here and she is not alone. Ivan searched and searched but could not find anything. At this point it seems that the beast was getting closer to Ivan scent that came from the mental asylum at the edge of town by the old mine that had gotten shut down some time ago because the workers were becoming sick. 

After searching Ivan decided to head back to the room in which she found the candle to see if she has missed anything from before. As Ivan enters the room she hears a great bang as the front door is smashed open and the creature rushes up the threshold. The beast gets near the door and Ivan is stuck in her place with nowhere to hide and nowhere to even run to. Wondering what would really be the point as she is alone going out this way would be so assertive and that leaves nothing left to worry. Even with this new found revolution Ivan can’t help the involuntary terror that ran through her body has the claw of the beast scrapped the gap between the door and the floor making its presence known and it’s intentions clear. Even though it’s obviously possible that the beast could break down the door in one smash it menacally takes it’s time clawing at the door till it comes shattering off the doors hinges. Playing with Ivan until she can no longer take it anymore and she begs on her knees just for the beast to finally take her life and end her loneliness.  

    Ivan watches as the beast places one of its paws just before the other as it gets closer and closer to her. The only sounds that could be heard were the claws scratching against the wooden floor digging in the marks of the three claws that extend from the hand of the beast and the bumping sound of Ivan’s rapidly beating heart as she waits with great anticipation. The beast grabs the ends of Ivan’s leg just at the base of her ankle and drags her over slowing tearing what little she had left on across the wooden floor. Ivan staring deep into the eyes of the beast as it drags its claws over her bare skin causing her to wince but not in pain. It’s numb she feels nothing even as the beast starts to carve symbols into her leg she feels nothing, nothing at all. Making contact with the beast she looks into its eyes and the pain in the beast eyes look like her very own, the beast pulls back and makes a lunge to swipe at Ivan and her screams carry across the town. Awaiting the end but then moment but she began to rush towards a light then it's nothing.

    Light that's all there is nothing more and nothing less blinding me from seeing anything. In the the distant it almost sounded as if there was someone but her but she can’t tell she is stuck in her brain and the light seems to be blocking all senses of control. Deep in her mind she hears it “Hello can you hear me go get the doctor”. Ivan can’t stand to be like this with the conversation going on in the back of her mind she starts to trash around in her mind to try and gain some control over herself but the more she tries she feels the claps tightening around her arm  restricting movement to but a few centimeters. She feels it before it’s registered in her mind, the cold sensation of the water being dumped over her body leaving her damp she jumps forward her eyes bulging open and adjusting to the scene in front of her. Coming from outside the room Ivan tunes into the conversation,  “The doctor is here he will set up more treatment for the girl she was caught again trying to kill herself ”. Ivan crawls into the headboard of the bed as the men in matching suits walk towards her with a syringe and before there’s any chance Ivan feels the prick in her arm that will send her back to the darkest place she knows, her mind.