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Drama Fiction Suspense

It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. Ivan Patrenkov laid down his bundle to rest and scan the horizon. City lights appeared and reappeared behind the distant trees and wind. The city was far, but he could not stay. The coming dark and cold would consume him. He planted the stick in the ground to propel himself forward a step. If he could repeat that motion many times, he told himself, he would arrive. The makeshift cane found purchase on the frozen ground. He moved forward, his footstep obliterated by the keening of the wind seemingly Hell bent on knocking him down and, not content, scouring his bones from the surface.


Ivan’s feet no longer had feeling but his hands burned with the cold, so that he felt his fingertips might solidify and break off. He yearned to place them inside his jacket but knew he could not open it without risk of finally freezing his core. He tried smacking them together again, but the motion caused him to stumble. The last time he had fallen it had taken all his resolve to get up again. He knew he did not have that reserve in him now, and where he fell again would mark his grave.


He listened for sounds of people, animals, anything, but could hear nothing but his clothes flapping in the wind. Now it was pitch dark and he could only see when the clouds cleared allowing moonlight through.


Ivan reflected. It was carelessness that found him here. He was normally a careful, planning person that had made this journey many times since he was a young man. He’d been assured by the smith Novikov that the axle was fixed soundly but it had broken again the first day well into the journey. Damn Novikov’s eyes! He should have turned back but instead loaded as many provisions as he could onto the horse. The stupidity! If the weather held all would be well. But the wind had turned and the horse had taken it into his head to stop. Ivan had cajoled him, tempted him and finally smacked him hard but Konstantin was an old horse and was not having any of it. Ivan had unloaded as much food as he could, thinking that relief from the weight might tempt the horse to continue, but he remained planted to the ground like a war statue without its general. Ivan had turned a couple of times to check on him and he could see his mane blowing in the wind, but he was not following and on the third glance had disappeared from view.


Ivan came across a ravine he had not seen from the distance. The flat ground had been treacherous, but here in the moonlight were boulders covered in moss and ice with a steep bank down and the same ascending. He could hear water pushing stones out of the way under the icy stream. His stomach churned and he shook. If he slid here and twisted or broke an ankle, and chances were great, then he’d never be able to pull himself up the other side. Despite that, Ivan felt his head nod with exhaustion. He’d been determined to muscle through mentally but had not counted on his body turning against him. Had it been summer he could have stopped and splashed himself with the stream water. Instead he concentrated on making it down and up again, his frozen fingers now useless for climbing. He was surprised to find himself at the top of the other side and he gave thanks. A ridge ahead obscured the skyline, so that he could not see how much closer he was to the lights.


While he thought the wind cruel before, it now gusted relentlessly, buffeting him and leaving him teetering on his feet. Ivan scanned his surroundings to find himself in an open area bereft of even small trees. A gap concentrated and funneled the wind through. He would need to gain shelter regardless of whether it still took him in the direction of the lights. Ivan rammed his stick into the ground and lunged forward but then a vicious gust of wind took both feet out from under him and he fell.


Time passed. When Ivan opened his eyes he could see the skyline and the city lights much closer now. And there, silhouetted in the moonlight at the top of the ridge was Konstantin, pawing the ground and staring at him. Ivan realized the horse must have overtaken him while he was unconscious or slept. He called the horse's name but the wind took his words away and the horse did not come. Now there was nothing left to pack, so the peasant dragged himself along the ground until at last he reached the horse. Owen focused his mind and called on his body to do this one last thing. Time passed and he found himself pulling up and over the saddle. He could not trust himself to sit up for the remainder of the journey so thrust his hands between the saddle and the horse to find the sweet warmth, and then wedged himself like a saddlebag and closed his eyes.


Konstantin took his master’s weight and, like a young colt, began to canter towards the sounds and smell of the city, making speed where the moonlight broke through and he could see a clear path in the snow. He was able to cover the remainder of the distance arriving outside the east gate just before the sun was due to rise and the gates would be opened.


When the east gate was lifted, the guard summoned the commander of the watch to provide orders on the accommodation of the city’s latest guests: a frozen man lying across a frozen horse. But this was no ordinary mishap, as it appeared that both man and beast had been sculpted from one piece of ice from the tip of the man’s head to the toes of the horse’s hooves; the overall effect being that of a masterpiece of solid glass refracting colors on the city wall.


Later that day, as word spread and people gathered to view the spectacle, Aleksei Babanin cried out in disbelief, not so much at the phenomenon, but because he had known Patrenkov all his life as the most careful of men.















March 10, 2023 22:10

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18 comments

Michał Przywara
20:45 Mar 23, 2023

That's a terrible end for Ivan, but people underestimate winter, even those who ought to know better. A nice day can turn nightmarish pretty quick. But why did he take the risk? It seems he was frustrated by the wagon issues, and it sounds like he was setting out to trade, so perhaps greed played a role. Or maybe he's poor (though he does own a horse and wagon) so maybe necessity instead of greed. He's also old, and undertaking a risky journey - sometimes luck just runs out. "Owen focused his mind and called on his body to do this one la...

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Josephine Harris
21:13 Mar 24, 2023

Thanks for this Michael. Yes I wrote Owen by mistake. He’s a character in a book I’m writing and he somehow made his way to the frozen barrens. It would have been nice to know why Ivan committed his folly.

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Josephine Harris
22:33 Dec 07, 2023

Hi Michael: I needed to know why he took the risk also, so have come up with a prequel. "The Day Before" Cheers Jo

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Diane Green
13:16 Mar 23, 2023

Wonderfully descriptive. Would love to see this full-blown. I was curious to know where he was going and why.

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Josephine Harris
18:41 Mar 23, 2023

Thank you, Diane. Perhaps Ivan had been to visit a relative, to sell some wares, or escape from a purge. We would have to write the back story. But to write more we would have to decide whether he is a likeable fellow. How would we illustrate that? Or on the other hand he is reprehensible and deserves to die. The choice would govern whether we root for him or rejoice when the cold takes him. Perhaps you could write that bit :) Cheers. Jo

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Josephine Harris
22:34 Dec 07, 2023

Hi Diane: I needed to know why he took the risk also, so have come up with a prequel. "The Day Before". Cheers Jo

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Carol Molenaar
21:25 Mar 19, 2023

I found this story very compelling and I almost felt cold. Coming from a place without snow I think I am thankful.

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Josephine Harris
20:14 Mar 20, 2023

Hi Carol: yes it helps to be from a cold place so it doesn’t take as much imagination. Congratulations on living somewhere warm :).

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Josephine Harris
22:42 Dec 07, 2023

Hi Carol: As one of the prompts this week was to talk about the cold again I thought I'd give Ivan a reason to be out in the dead of winter. Here's another bout of the chills for you, if you wish. "The Day Before". Cheers Jo

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Rake Silva
06:19 Mar 19, 2023

Incredibly descriptive and immersive, and a dope ending as well. Best of luck on your future submissions.

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Josephine Harris
11:52 Mar 19, 2023

Thank you, Rake. Hey! I just read your story Lost Hits. It’s excellent! You’re a really good writer. I’m going to follow you :).

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Josephine Harris
22:38 Dec 07, 2023

Hi Rake: As one of the prompts this week was to talk about the cold again I thought I'd give Ivan a reason to be out in the snow. Here's another bout of the chills for you, if you wish. "The Day Before". It would be nice to see another story from you. Cheers Jo

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Mary Bendickson
18:56 Mar 18, 2023

Brrr... very chilling. And well done.

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Josephine Harris
11:53 Mar 19, 2023

Thank you, Mary. It helps to be Canadian... Cheers. Jo

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Josephine Harris
22:39 Dec 07, 2023

Hi Mary: As one of the prompts this week was to talk about the cold again I thought I'd give Ivan a reason to be out in the snow. Here's another bout of the chills for you, if you wish. "The Day Before". Cheers Jo

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Timothy Rennels
04:14 Mar 18, 2023

Very nice description of the old mans battle! I had to warm myself with a blanket as I was reading it.

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Josephine Harris
15:11 Mar 18, 2023

Sorry, Timothy. Have a hot rum toddy on me :) Cheers Jo

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Josephine Harris
22:39 Dec 07, 2023

Hi Timothy: As one of the prompts this week was to talk about the cold again I thought I'd give Ivan a reason to be out and about in the dead of winter. Here's another bout of the chills for you, if you wish. "The Day Before". Cheers Jo

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