120 comments

Fantasy

"Lariona, get down here. Customers are coming", my mother said, tight-lipped and emotionless. That was what happened when you worked with dark magic for all your life. She, like all my family, extended and close, had never seen what life was like outside of Malefice crafting. They'd drawn me in too, but I was different. I had dreams. Dreams of helping the world, of happy days, not supplying the Maleficers of the world with their means of terrorism. I didn't want my life to consist only of that. Still, for now, I would have to make do.

I pulled on my demon-skin gloves, the rough, chafed surface rubbing against my hands. I had been wearing those same gloves every day for the past four years. I felt tired. How on Earth was I supposed to tell my family that I wanted nothing to do with it? I walked down the steps, the creaking wood weakening every time someone stepped on it. Soon, someone would break it, and we'd have to replace it. I wondered who it would be... Would it be Marilic, my brother, who was always running around and not thinking? Perhaps it would be Jiona, my spiteful cousin. No one had ever liked her, and she was still making sure it stayed that way.

As the moonshine poured upon my face, I could smell it, the dark stank of Malefice. It was like someone poured tar over rotten eggs, and then enchanted it. Not everyone could wield it, and my family was the oldest, richest, and most powerful ones that could. It was probably due to my famed family that I had survived so long in the underground world. I pushed myself behind a workbench and waited until a customer arrived. That was how it worked, I waited until someone gave me an object to enchant. It was dreary, but it reaped massive profits and fame.

"Are you Lariona? My guildmate spoke said great things about you." My eyes snapped up as if by a rubber band. In front of me stood a small wizard with crazy eyes, a golden cloak, and a necklace. I stood there, not speaking, as if by a spell. A spell... why was he trying to keep my mouth shut? What enchantment did he want? I wanted to scream, to kick the wizard out, but I couldn't. The spell was like a load of bricks. I couldn't move.

"Do me a favor and enchant this necklace. I want it to be able to desecrate cities." He said, a twinkle in his eye as he placed it on the table. I picked it up, thought about it, and set it back down. Even if it was him leveling those cities, I would never agree to be an accomplice. He leered at me, eyes burning into my brain. "You don't seem to understand. Enchant this necklace, or I will rip you apart until there is nothing left." He hissed. I couldn't breathe. Why was this happening to me? I picked it up and began to hum the enchantment.

The necklace grew purple and gold, as it mottled and changed. Almost immediately, every enchanter in my family turned and saw what I was doing. Marilic snatched it out of my hand and asked me

"What are you doing? This could destroy whole cities!" I pointed to my mouth and at the wizard. Every one of my family members turned to him and sharpened their gazes staring at him with evil eyes.

"What do you think you're doing, enchanting my daughter? Undo the enchantment now, or we will show you the extent of our powers." Steam hissed above my mother as she threatened him, and smoke began to rise out of the eyes of all my family members. This was one of the special abilities of my family. Our magic. And I was pretty sure that our combined magic would overpower his.

"Fine. You win. I will leave." He said, and suddenly I could speak again. the air rushed back into my mouth and I had to hyperventilate. My family rushed around me, trying to comfort me, but I assured them that I was fine. Never before had my family been so loving and kind. I guess they weren't all as morally corrupt as before thought.

"Lariona, you have to stay away from that man." My father warned, his hands shaking. "He is part of the Demogor guild." I gasped, my mind reeling. The Demogor came into being a thousand years ago, and their only pleasure and joy was destruction. They were responsible for the death of millions of magical beings, not to mention normal humans. And to think that I had come that close to one of them.

"What did he want, Lariona?" Jiona said, her eyes wide with shock. The appearance of a Demogor had shocked even her.

"He... H-He had wanted t-to to make an enchantment... that c-could... desecrate entire cities." I choked out, my mind still a fuzzy mess. My family started crafting curses and yelling spells and even sending out a demon in anger. Never before had I thought myself on the same side as my family.

"If you ever see that man again, teleport back here immediately. No matter the circumstances. Next time, he will not travel alone." My father's voice was dark and grim as if haunted by a shadow.

"I understand, father."

_______________________________________________

As I looked around the store, browsing for the strickleberry juice, the wizard crossed my mind. He had looked so crazed as if he was a rabid dog begging for people to bite. I wondered what his guild's plan had been. What city they had tried to destroy.

Still, my family and I were no longer at odds. I knew that they would do anything to protect me.

"Only juice, miss?" the cashier asked me, his hands held out for the money.

"Yes, please," I replied, handing him six maros, the universal currency. I walked out of the shop, breathing in the fresh air of the marketplace, the spices assaulting my nose. Suddenly, I stopped. I stood there, unable to move, to teleport away. What was happening?

A voice breathed down my neck:

"You're dead, enchanter."

November 20, 2020 17:26

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120 comments

Books House Drama Dice Terrible guesser here! Nice story!

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12:46 Nov 23, 2020

The books-house is actually a library. With fun and things that involve dice. Lol I'm a pretty bad guesser too, but see if you can figure it out now!

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Mira Caplan
18:12 Nov 20, 2020

Oh. My. Gawd. You write Fantasy so well!!!!! I loved this story, and honestly couldn't stop reading. It fits the prompt perfectly, and I also can't believe you wrote it in such a short time. Please, teach me your ways!!!

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18:13 Nov 20, 2020

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Mira Caplan
18:18 Nov 20, 2020

I also see that it's going to have multiple parts, and I can't wait!!!

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18:19 Nov 20, 2020

I wanted to try that out! I thought that you did it so well, and I wanted to do something other than oneshots!

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Mira Caplan
18:24 Nov 20, 2020

Aaaaaw, thank you! I love your first part, and think you did it really well, too!!!

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18:26 Nov 20, 2020

Praise from the master!!!! YAY!

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N. N.
04:21 Nov 21, 2020

Creative world-building! That cliff-hanger in the end... I wanna know more! Ooh, and I love the name Lariona. Kudos, to you for writing in such a short time! P.s. Ohmygod. I just found a fellow Mamamoo-lover. Yay!

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12:41 Nov 21, 2020

Thanks so much! I ADORE MAMAMOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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N. N.
15:45 Nov 21, 2020

Np! And you've got every reason to adore them.

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15:57 Nov 21, 2020

Indeed!!! I love moonstar

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N. N.
17:15 Nov 21, 2020

Ahh, nice. While I feel all of them equally good, I tend to be inclined, at times, towards Solar.

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17:59 Nov 21, 2020

She’s my second fave

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17:59 Nov 21, 2020

She’s my second fave

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14:12 Nov 23, 2020

Hey, you wanna be Reedsy Friends?

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B. W.
23:20 Nov 22, 2020

hey

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23:45 Nov 22, 2020

hey!

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B. W.
23:52 Nov 22, 2020

how are ya?

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00:00 Nov 23, 2020

Great! And you?

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B. W.
00:29 Nov 23, 2020

eh, i guess im fine

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00:33 Nov 23, 2020

Cool.

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David G.
14:23 Nov 21, 2020

Nicely done. You have talent. I'm impressed. Keep writing! If I can offer any constructive criticism, it might be to simplify the language a little bit. Short, declarative sentences can be very effective. I like your metaphors. If you use them only sparingly, I think their effect will be enhanced. I look forward to seeing where this story goes!

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15:39 Nov 21, 2020

Thank you so much!!!

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19:13 Nov 20, 2020

Luke, How are you writing stories this good this fast? It's insanely amazing! You write fantasy so so so so so so well! How do you do it?? :) I loved this story! I love your world building, I love your characters, I love the names you picked, and I love the title! I am so glad you're making a part two because that cliffhanger was just... whoa!! As far as grammar corrections go, the only thing I saw was this: I replied, handing him six maros, the universal currency. Is maros plural? I'm not an expert, but I think it should b...

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19:19 Nov 20, 2020

I thought that it was plural, like cents. Maro is singular. Thanks so much, I don't know how I just write them so quickly! I wanted to switch things up and do a sequel potential story, because I normally do one-shots. Thanks so much!!!! I read a lot of fantasy, so maybe that's why lol!

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19:27 Nov 20, 2020

Ahh I see! Okay, thanks for correcting me on my correction (what did I just say?)! Haha!

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19:17 Nov 20, 2020

PS: I put the story that I have most loved reading in my bio each week along with the author. This made my story of the week!! Nice job!!! :)

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19:19 Nov 20, 2020

Oh MY GOSH THANK YOU!!!!!! YOU'RE TOO KIND!!!

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19:26 Nov 20, 2020

:) You deserve it!!

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19:28 Nov 20, 2020

You're too kind! Is it okay with you if I start one? It's such a good idea, just like Newt_'s puzzle in the name.

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19:31 Nov 20, 2020

Of course you can! Leo does it as well!

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19:33 Dec 15, 2020

Ok, let’s get to the cheese. I love fantasy. It’s my favorite genre by far, so I have more critiques and advice that I usually do, because I’m very familiar. I’ve decided that I’m going to read this entire series so far and thoroughly review it. I won’t be reading for grammar; my focus is on the dynamics of story, and how you express them through words. I have a decent amount of experience writing fantasy, so I shouldn’t be telling you anything crazy. However, if anything I say doesn’t line up, please question me. I will do my best to ...

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19:34 Dec 15, 2020

I'm trying to use iceberg-esque logic for the magical abilities, to leave that unanswered, but yeah I totally agree. All of these were real quick and I will make sure to keep all of this in mind!! Thanks so much leo!!

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19:38 Dec 15, 2020

Iceberg-esque? Please excuse me if I don’t understand. 😂

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19:40 Dec 15, 2020

Hemingway's Iceberg Theory, but I probably don't fully understand it either XD

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19:46 Dec 15, 2020

I haven’t actually heard that theory...

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19:48 Dec 15, 2020

It's really interesting, but yeah I haven't been on here for a while so I'm not a great author, but it means the more parts you withhold and leave up to the reader the more engaging and thrilling it is.

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Deidra Lovegren
23:26 Nov 30, 2020

Are you making this into a longer series? It's great! Love this: strickleberry juice Maybe capitalize name? "You're dead, Enchanter."

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23:27 Nov 30, 2020

Enchanter is more of a profession, but yeah I guess I should've. Thanks!! I thought Strickleberry would be cool! Maybe a Persimmons-Pomegranate!

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23:37 Nov 30, 2020

Hey, there's a part 2 also!!

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14:48 Nov 23, 2020

Hey Luke! I was passing through upvoting and I saw your comment to Celeste about the 'house' being a library. Would your new puzzle happen to be Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library by Chris Grabenstein?

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14:55 Nov 23, 2020

Ugh, fine, yes.

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15:04 Nov 23, 2020

Haha :)

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15:01 Nov 23, 2020

Hey I posted a new story!

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15:04 Nov 23, 2020

Yay!! I will be sure to check it out as soon as possible! Thanks for letting me know!! :)

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Kate Reynolds
17:31 Dec 07, 2020

Wowowowow this is sooooo good!! I loved the fantasy aspect of it!! Great job!!!!!!

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17:33 Dec 07, 2020

Thanks so much!! There's a part two that you can read if you want!!

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Kate Reynolds
17:35 Dec 07, 2020

Yep I did :DD

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17:39 Dec 07, 2020

Yay!!

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Kate Ashton
14:22 Nov 26, 2020

Woah. That was amazing! You managed to feed me all the exposition I need to understand the fundamentals of the world you built, but I didn't feel like I was spoonfed information. Not to mention that perfect ending! I ready for more!

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14:31 Nov 26, 2020

Thanks so much!!!

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Tim Law
10:06 Nov 21, 2020

Litlover this story is very cool... I cannot wait for part two 👍

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12:42 Nov 21, 2020

Thanks so much!!

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01:13 Dec 29, 2020

Cliffhangers are not okay. Except here, because now I am dying to know what happens next. :D

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12:38 Dec 29, 2020

Lol this one wasn't my best, but glad you like the cliffhanger :D

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