Volleyball, Basketball, Tennis, Swimming, Violin. I shudder remembering the violin class. Raspy sounds of pain fill my head once again as I try vigorously try to jerk the memory out. Every night I go on my computer and go through tons and tons of searches until my eyes get swollen shut. Small voices in my head torment me that if I don't find a hobby I can keep, I'm a failure. Sometimes, those voices don't go away until I am asleep, so 99% of the time I end up sleeping in my chair. My parents worry about me, not being able to hold onto anything. They say in the future, I will have a lot of problems. I try not to think about it, I'm only in 7th grade anyway.
"Olivia!" I hear my mother's voice. "Olivia it is time for breakfast!" I wake up as a throbbing pain pierces into my neck. It hurts to talk.
"Coming," I say, my voice killing me. I walk downstairs staring at my feet. My mom looks like she hasn't slept all night. The bags under her eyes sank deeper and deeper every day.
"Guess what I have a surprise!"
"What?" I say, knowing it won't be a good one.
"We are going to go and try out for ice hockey!" My face went pale, I couldn't even ice skate. Before my thoughts started overflowing like a volcano, my mom put a hand on my shoulder.
"Try, try for me." Her words were soothing, like ointment on a burn. Turning my neck, which by the way was starting to feel a lot better, I took out some cereal from the cabinet.
"Okay," I said reluctantly, "Only if I enjoy it."
"Okay," she said, "By the way, tryouts start in an hour, so eat quickly!"
"An hour!" I half yelled. Running to my room, I put on 3 shirts a jacket and some jeans. On top of the jeans, I put on snow pants, since I knew it was going to be glacial. I came downstairs just to realize I forgot my gloves. Running back upstairs, I realize that I need my hat too. Opening my drawers, I get my pink hat and blue gloves.
5 minutes later, I find myself in my mom's car, driving as fast as the wind.
"Who's going to be there?" I ask, trying not to sound nervous, trying not to throw up.
"I honestly don't know." My mom said. Her response made me nervous. The violin had come back, the scratchy sound of the bow hitting the strings made me cringe. The strings, the strings that had crackled and tore and were ruined because of me. I was a monster, no artistic talent, nothing, just a helpless girl never holding up a hobby, a failure. I thought and thought and thought of that memory in repeat, never wanting to try anything again. I saw the girls, the ones that stifled their breath from laughing, the ones that talked about me behind my back. Suddenly, a rush of pain fled me as I buried myself deeper and deeper into my seat. Pain! The thought of my parents fighting on what I like and what I don't. Pain! The girls laughing at me, whispering behind my back. Pain! The thought of failure, thrashing into my back with every step, every breath.
I had shaken out of my trance and saw my mom, her face had twisted with worry.
"What happened?" I whispered, still in shock, still paralyzed.
"You, You blacked out." My mom's voice was full of shock mixed with anxiety. I knew what I had to do. I bought up the courage to unstick myself from the seat and come out.
"I...I'm ready." I managed to blurt out. A smile swept my mom's face as she held my hand and took me to rent my ice skates.
20 minutes later, I had entered the building. I stumbled to the ice hockey rink and was horrified. There were all boys! My face burned like I had been slapped in the face. In the middle of the ice rink, I saw a man. He was around 6ft tall and had a beard.
"Hi," he said. I almost jumped out of my skin, his voice was so loud! "I'm Coach Anderson," he stated, "I'm going to test you on your abilities." I nodded anxiously as I started twiddling with my fingers. The coach must have seen that because he remarked that I didn't have to be scared, and it was okay if I did some errors. I rolled my shoulders as I stepped onto the ice. The frozen water chilled my veins as I lunged forward. 3...2....1 go! I soared forward, the ice under my feet, the heavy skates ticking my feet as I skated like a pro. My eyes danced as I saw the boys staring with their mouths open. I went around the rink about 2 times until I finally stopped in front of the coach. "You defiantly have great potential young lady," he said in his deep voice, "And you are 100% welcome on this team." My heart skipped a beat as a smile crept over my face.
"Thanks!" I managed to say before I took off. I threw my ice skates on the floor while running up to see my mom. Running up the stairs, into the lounge, and on the couch, I saw my mom. "Mom!" I yelled, "Mom, I got in! I got in!" My mom sprang out of her seat and hugged me, the hug was the greatest moment of my life. I wanted this hug to be everlasting so I could feel this way forever. My mom slowly let go of me.
"This calls for some ice cream!" I jumped up and down like a little kindergartener opening their Christmas gift. I held my mom's warm hands and walked out, I had accomplished something, I thought to myself. I accomplished something and I am not a failure.