Everything old is new again.

One man’s trash may be another man’s treasure.

Sometimes it requires seeing things in a different light.

Janie loved her Drowsy doll. As many kids do while growing older, they possess a special toy, stuffed animal, blanket. A companion toy, a “security” blanket. Janie had one such doll. Pixie-blonde bowl haircut, dressed in a pink and white polka dotted onesie, with eyes half-closed. Drowsy was a trusted companion and playmate. Drowsy was an original, a first of its kind to exist. New. Novel. For the ‘60’s and ‘70’s.

Drowsy was there through the good times and bad. There after school waiting to study, ready to play. Kidnapped at times by the family dog, (and always forgiven) hidden by siblings, and kept watch on and over other belongings. Someone to talk to, laugh and cry together.

Over time, and through much “handling” Drowsy became tattered and worn. The pink polka dotted onesie less bright, the Pixie blond bowl hair a touch mussed up. But to Janie, it did not matter, it was still Drowsy. Good as new. Solid as a rock. Companion of all companions.

One day there was a childhood storm Janie and Drowsy weathered. A time tested connection of Janie and Drowsy. Jolly old St. Nicholas though it time to replace Drowsy with a new Drowsy. So on Christmas morning, as Janie reached for Drowsy to go and open gifts from St. Nick, she could not find Drowsy. Confused, a little upset, but excited to join the siblings at the tree, she ran around her room searching and thought perhaps Drowsy was kidnapped by the dog again. She proceeded to the tree.

Well thought out family traditions anticipated over the year. Good natured time. Small gifts- waited and wished for over the year-and opened and celebrated under the tree. The children took turns and waited to see what others had received. When it came to Janie’s turn, she excitedly opened her gift and instead of joy, a feeling of “what is this?” flashed across her face. It was a brand-spanking-new Drowsy. Manners were important, so Janie tried to hide her confusion and disappointment and said “Thank you,” all the while becoming a bit more frantic about where the real Drowsy was.

She put the new Drowsy down on the floor. No real care, concern, connection, good or bad bonded them. Waiting patiently for the gift exchange to end, worriedly searching her mind as to where she may have left Drowsy. Finally, the wrapping paper clean up occurred and Janie began hurriedly searching around the usual spots for Drowsy. Nope. Not there. Nope. The dog did not kidnap this time. The siblings swore up and down they did not play Drowsy hide and seek.

Near tears, Janie went up to the new Drowsy and just couldn’t relate. She looked liked Drowsy, same Pixie bowl haircut, same pink polka dotted onesie, although brighter, same half-closed eyes. She picked her up. She did not feel the same. She looked at the eyes. Nope.Nothing there. No connection. This was not Drowsy.

Dejected. And now sad, Janie went to the room she shared with a sibling and looked around a third time. In drawers, behind dressers, under the covers, under the bed. She plopped down on her bed and just cried. She had just lost her best friend on a day intended to be filled with joy.

Janie was still quite young. Not quite the age of out-growing a toy with a youthful, strong connective nature. What to make of the decision of St. Nick? She became angry that he brought an imposter. A new imposter. Where did Drowsy go? She thought. Did St. Nick take her when he brought the new doll? Trying to make sense of it all. Feeling quite alone. Just walking around the house looking for her friend. A friend. Every inch of the house searched, the feeling of dread coming over her that she will never see Drowsy, the real Drowsy again.

Janie worked her way back up to her room, plopped on the bed again. Sobbing had turned to whimpers. Janie was incapable, not yet mature enough to grasp the loss of/losing a trusted friend. Still coming to terms with what was occurring. It was then, while searching her mind, Janie looked up and down. When she looked down. “What is that.”Is that blonde hair”? Something stuck out from under the bed. In a milisecond Janie had a rush of “could it be” flash across her mind. She leapt off the bed, crouched down on the floor.

There she was.

Drowsy. Quickly, Janie thought, I had looked here so many times before that day. Where did she….How did she….No matter. Janie grabbed her and hugged her. The whimpers now tears of joy. She ran to find someone in the household to tell of her joy and excitement that Drowsy was back!!

In her arms. As good as new.

After sharing her good news, Janie decided to find the new Drowsy, put them side by side. She did not know what to do. Confused and with no stirring feeling when she held or looked at the new Drowsy. She felt no history, no connection with the brighter, “cleaner” one.

Janie put the new Drowsy gently in a place—to the side in her room. Shrugging her shoulders, perhaps maybe some day. But not today. She grasped the real Drowsy and off they went to salvage the rest of the day with reunion and joy.

Fast forward in time. Picture a mature Janie. One day, sitting on the same bed under where she found her beloved Drowsy years before. She again held her in her arms. Janie had a different feeling today. It was time to share Drowsy with another child. She just knew. She did not feel as if she would miss Drowsy. She felt that maybe another child would find similar joy.

Now a-middle-school-aged-child looking out her bedroom window, Janie was picturing a younger child, a younger person smiling with Drowsy as she had done for so many years. It made her feel excited to share. Janie did not feel sad. She walked by the other Drowsy in the same place she had left her years before. Shrugging her shoulders just as she did years ago, she picked the new Drowsy up.

Indifference still stirred in Janie. She had never developed the same connection with the new Drowsy. No connection at all with the new Drowsy. So. Janie threw her in a bag and headed downstairs as her Father called from the car.

”We must get there before the doors close!” It was the community charity toy drive. During the car ride, Janie explained her decision to her Father. She felt ready and that it was time to share the Drowsy dolls—new and old—with another child. From a young child’s perspective, the possibilities are endless. Janie and her Father discussed the possibilities of joy both the old and new toys may bring to another child.

Janie asked her Father why she preferred the old, so-called-tattered-friend to the new, not-so-tattered-friend. He returned the question back to Janie. “How did you feel that day when you thought you lost Drowsy?” Janie remembered and recounted in vivid detail the feeling, the dread. The tears. The joy.

Her Father explained bonds can be very strong for those we hold near and dear. Good or bad. Old or new. Either way, they agreed some children will have the opportunity to find joy. The joy in sharing. A valuable childhood lesson.

”Oh, I get it.” She said. Her Father patted her hand and smiled. She smiled back. Hands gripped on the bag with both the old and the new dolls. Feet barely touching the ground. Janie had a rush of excitement for sharing that brought her much joy.

She looked down at the dolls, smiled, and looked out the window, pondering the joy, excitement and possibilities that may await other children.