The Beginning of The End

"I can't believe your time is finally here, I can already see your adorable face on all the banners of the bakery.." Aunty Darla must have forgotten the distance of her lips to the phone because she squealed right into the phone almost knocking me off my office chair, which causes a lot of stares from my colleagues in other cubicles and a strange wink from weird Freddy.

"Hello, Hello poo bear are you there..." I irritatedly look away only to have to return to this same phone conversation.

"Yes Aunty.." Unfortunately

"Good, I was even telling George the other day about it and he said I should tell the story of his first time walking into the bakery, that story never fails to shake the laughter out of this old sagging bod..." I quickly cut her off with the excuse that my boss had just arrived and I needed to deliver some files to his office, I did a power pump when we said our goodbyes.

Aunty Darla always made sure I never felt the absence of my mother growing up, that's why it will hurt me dearly to reveal my relocation plan to Paris for my Art programme.

My whole life has been built around trying to please my wall of a father, ever since my mother's death from advanced skin cancer.

I was 10 years old, when we found out the sad news. 

When my dad heard the news it killed him more than the cancer in mum that he became so distant.

He barely even made it on the day my mother took her last breathe, I would say barely because he was stiff drunk when he arrived at the hospital, the doctors couldn't let him in due to his state. He proceeded to make a huge ruckus and so.. my mum died with the sounds of my father threatening to sue the hospital for not letting him see the love of his life. 

I had to sit there with Aunty Darla covering my ears while my mother weakly hugged me till I could feel her strength diminishing into death.  

After crying my eyes out, I looked up to see my father dishevelled and unable to stand up straight, the hospital security finally let him in after much pleading from my aunty.

I remember the look of sadness in his eyes as he traced her pale white face, it was almost as if he was memorizing all of her delicate features in his heart.

That was the last time raw and true emotions were ever seen on my father's face again.

***********

I look around to see Candice the assistant secretary to the managing director, Mr. Will, also my crush of three years at this Advertising Company. 

She was probably still here because we had to finish our transfer arrangements to new locations, I hadn't still asked her where she is transferring to, probably for the best. 

After packing up my things I quietly say goodbye and make my way to the lobby where the elevator is located. Just as the doors were about closing a handbag is put in the middle to stop the doors.

"Sorry, I saw the doors closing. I couldn't wait for another one." she states sheepishly.

"It's alright anything for you.. em..I mean anything to help you.. em not just for you to...em..help anyone in need of help.." I kept quiet when I see her blushing face. We awkwardly wait for the elevator to make its decent to the ground floor.

As soon as the doors open, we walk towards Stanley the doorman and say our goodbyes.

I help her hail a cab which she thanks me for while strangely blushing again.

The night air is chilly so I snuggle into my coat and start my brief walk to the underground train station at the end of the street.

***********

As soon as I open the door of my apartment, my phone starts ringing, I bring it out of my pocket to see my dad's name on the screen, isn't he meant to be asleep at this time, it's 11:45pm, the fact that he rarely calls makes me answer the phone.

"Andrew sorry to disturb your sleep" he didn't sound any bit remorseful, totally used to it.

"I called to ask you to come to the house by 7:30pm tomorrow, there are some matters we need to discuss over dinner" I roll my eyes or you mean some papers you want me to sign.

"I'll be there."

"Good, you can get back to your sleep, goodnight" he ended the call before I could reply back. Used to it too.

I guess tomorrow is the day I have to face his disappointment in me, at least I won't have to say it in front of all my family members.

I look around to see my half packed apartment I was finally doing what I've always wanted, I was scared at first but as the days to my move countdown I find myself drowning in excitement at the new life I could finally start far away from all my pain. 

Tomorrow is gonna be a long day.

***********

After paying the taxi driver, I turn to stare at the house I grew up in, the house that brought back all my lonely childhood memories, I couldn't even wait for the so called dinner to be over already. 

I unconsciously adjust my jacket and tie. He always nagged me for looking untidy.

I ring the doorbell of the five bedroom duplex, I never understood why my mum loved this house so much.

"Andy my boy, good to see you son" Uncle George pulls me into a firm hug with a pat on my back. 

"Good to see you too Uncle...but what are doing here?? Are you here visiting?" I hope it isn't what I am thinking God please No. "Are you on your way out?" I whisper that part hopeful, while trying to sound unhappy that he is leaving.

"What do you mean leaving Andy?" He says in between a hearty laugh "we are all here, the whole family" I almost lose my balance if not for the door next to me.

 My uncle eyes me with concern, so I force a smile.

"Just a little nervous to be seeing everyone after such a long time" He seems to buy it cause he immediately laughs and drags me to the central parlor where my dad's two sisters are seated.They are only three in the family plus my dad.

Even Grand Pa James is here, if only the ground could swallow me right now.

Aunty Darla, ran to hug me with little tears in her eyes," I can't wait to see u finally take over, your mum would have been so proud if only she...." Uncle George quickly swoops in to take his emotional wife away, thank Goodness.

"Good day everyone, so good to see you Aunty Eleanor and Uncle Mark." Aunty Eleanor gives me a slight nod, she's the eldest child before my dad, but she couldn't inherit the bakery due to her gender, since then she has had a silent grudge for my father and I. Her husband, Uncle Mark, is oblivious to her grudge cause he jokes around too much to notice. 

"Nephew-in-law its so good to see you, has it been 5years or 4 or is it 2years 3 months 12days 4hours 35minutes 10seconds, who is counting?" Everyone immediately burst out in laughter except Aunty Eleanor who just snorted and stared straight at me as if she could sense something was not right. I quickly ended my laugh. It felt good to be around everyone after such a long time. 

"Hey grandpa" I go closer to him and kneel by his chair, he has bad hearing so I had to repeat it three times before he smiled and patted my head.

"Andrew my son, you've grown so big, you know I was asking your dad some time last week why you weren't coming to visit every weekend like you used to, all he did was mumble his constant incoherent words, I don't know why he doesn't understand I need bright energy around me not his grumpy old self, when are you gonna introduce us to a fine Missy? " He gives me a lopsided grin automatically showing me his lack of few molars. Which is not the best sight. I just smile and hug him, I've missed his smell of berries, grandpa always spends his entire day plucking berries from the berry field at the back of the retirement home. Ever since grandma passed away last year, it has turned to his new hobby.

"Don't worry too much, hopefully you'll be hearing the pitter patter of little feet soon" he smiles at this new revelation already having a determined face to make sure that happens.

"Grandpa where's Mr. Grumpy anyways?"

"Probably in his study working himself to death, I can't wait for him to hand the bakery to you so he'll find something more healthy to obsess over" GUILT, that is all my heart has been pumping round my body since I got here.

Why did dad have to invite everyone without telling me. Sometimes I feel like....like.., he just has to make my life hard till the very last minute. 

I angrily approach his study, maybe I should just drop the news privately, yes, that will make it easier, he can tell the news to the family he invited himself.

After knocking I don't wait for a reply before I barge in, that always ticked him off when I was little. Ha. I enter the room, grandpa was obviously right, papers are scattered everywhere, he was sitting at his desk checking through some other papers without looking up, guess he was expecting me to do that. Well he won't be expecting what's gonna come next.

"Dad, I don't want the..."

"Dinner's ready boys, chop chop let's go before it turns cold, I am starving" aunty Darla perfect timing, I almost groan in frustration, just one more word.

"Let's head out for dinner, they've been waiting for quite a while" Dad says or states before getting up from his chair adjusting himself and walking out of the study, leaving me and my whining aunty with impeccable timing.

I just smile at her and take her extended arm "we should all treat you like royalty for today" she whispers to me like a school girl confessing her crush. Aunt Darla you really are something. I laugh as we walk to the dinning table, even with her petite height she carries herself like the tallest in the room. 

After sitting and saying our prayers every one eats their mashed potatoes and Korean chicken sauce silently, in the Gerald family the weirdest etiquettes are maintained while the rest are ignored.

"I ordered a special chocolate cake from the bakery for today's celebration" Dad states once again as the cook walks in with the cake. A special what?? Today is not my day.

The cake is no where just special, it is beautiful the decorations are intricate and the flavour of the chocolate is just perfect, in summary it looks and tastes like heaven.

"O my God that cake is the best I've ever eaten from the bakery, please give my Andrew that special recipe bro" aunty Darla just has the perfect timing once again to bring the matter up, everyone's plates were being cleared so that meant no need to keep the silence. 

"Son you have to hand him all your recipes so that he can continue to live up to the standards our customers have put us" Grandpa says warningly at my dad. Can I just be swallowed at this moment, how am I supposed to break the news now. I could feel my sweaty palms so I quickly hid them under the table before anyone noticed my fidgeting.

"What's wrong Andrew? You've been quite pale all evening, is something the matter?“ aunty Eleanor asks with fake sweetness.

"Andy over here is just a little nervous to carry this huge responsibility of our family legacy, right Andrew?" Uncle George states to break the thin ice in the air. I only give a small smile before taking a sip of the red wine that we were given to pair with the cake.

"Andrew but you should have been expecting this all your life or are you having doubts?" Immediately my heart skips. All eyes are now on me expecting me to give a reassuring answer that aunty Eleanor is wrong. 

"Woah, boy, hold back the sweat there you are already soaking the chair" even uncle Mark's jokes were not enough to reduce the suspense ridden air while they awaited my reply. Taking a few deep breathes I stare at my dad who has a questioning brow raised at me.

"Aunty Eleanor is right, I am not just having doubts about the bakery, I have no interest in running it." It felt as if a bucket had been lifted from my head but in the process ice cold water had been poured on me in its place.

"Andy love what are you saying?" Aunty Darla said in the sweetest voice maybe trying to convince me to think twice.

"Are you deaf now Darla? He said he doesn't want a part of the family business. " aunty Eleanor and Darla start a glaring match while I glance at grandpa who has been oddly quiet. The look on his face almost makes me cry out in joy.

"This just brings me back to the day I handed the bakery business to your dad, I never gave him a choice, and I regret ever doing that to my sweet little boy, Andrew I won't do the same to you, if you choose not to, its alright, I have many grandchildren who can inherit the bakery, I just want you to do what you love." I quickly stand up and stride to grandpa's chair to give him a tight hug which he returns with just as much love. 

My happiness is shortlived when my dad bangs the table and stands up abruptly.

"My study Now!!!" He barks before walking out of the dining room with me following behind like a scolded puppy.

Once inside he relaxes a little and goes to his desk to retrieve a paper, he hands it to me and it is the deed to the bakery.

"Dad I meant what I said I want to study art, I never liked baking!...." 

"Did I like baking when I accepted the family legacy?? NO!! THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A FAMILY LEGACY, IT HAS TO BE CARRIED ON FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION, YOU HAD BETTER SIGN THIS OR ELSE, CONSIDER YOURSELF disowned!" 

"I AM SORRY!! You are probably disappointed in how your family turned out, but you could have been there when your family was still whole, when we needed you, when mum di....ed, I needed you, you weren't there all my life, I grew up not knowing what being loved by MY OWN PARENT FELT LIKE, I'm sorry if it doesn't make a difference to me if you disown me, I NEVER FELT LIKE I HAD A FATHER TO BEGIN WITH!! I am leaving for Paris on Saturday by 6pm, I got accepted into an Arts programme with full scholarship, the least you could do is see me off. Good bye Dad."

I left his study to see my family all

seated in the Central parlor waiting for me.

"We heard everything, I just want to say how disappointed I am that you didn't tell me you love art, I would have taken you to art school long ago, send me paintings when you get there okay Monkey, I love you so much and I'll always support you" Aunty Darla peppered kisses all over my face repeatedly until Uncle George pulls her off me to give me a hug.

Uncle Mark cracks a joke about Paris which fortunately for him relieves all the tension this time, after saying goodbyes over and over to everyone and making weird promises to aunt Darla.

I finally leave the house with no goodbye from my dad and to be honest I've never felt so good.

*************

Standing in line of the final check point I find myself looking around for you know who with no sign of him anywhere.

I sigh and wait for the woman before me to give her flight ticket which she apparently lost in her huge hand luggage. 

"Andrew! Andrew!" I immediately turn around to see my dad waving at me with a small smile on his face, the first one I had seen in years. I quickly jog to him only to be engulfed in a big hug.

"I'm sorry, son, I love you so much." He whispers as I hug him tighter.

"I love you too, I never held a grudge I only wanted you to share your pain with me too." I say with frustration. He just smiles and hugs me again "I promise to do better my boy, I promise, call me when you get there okay." I nod and quickly give my ticket to the man at the counter. I turn back to look at dad who had a big grin on his face. I walk past the door into the plane and locate my seat next to the window.I quickly settle in as more passengers start coming in.

"Sorry, is this seat 36B?" Where have I heard that voice before, I look up to see CANDICE. I Guess there's still hope for Grandpa's dream.

This is only the beginning of the end of my painful past.

The End 

By:Joseph Hadassah