A New Beginning

As an injured God, the twilight descended upon the tired city. The God seemed to devour the feeble afternoon light and in some minutes a new cold, opaque and dim light emerged from behind the grey clouds. From the fifth floor of the building, a young woman was searching with sad eyes for a new beginning.

Ana Sanders has just left her office late as usual although it was Friday. If for others Friday was just the beginning of the weekend for Ana it was just a simple, ordinary day. There was no weekend or free time as in the last three years she had been working plenty of overtime to support her family.

She took the elevator and went to the parking lot to find her car. While setting her seat beat she realized she had to stop at the supermarket to buy something for dinner. Her stomach growled and she remembered she had a coffee and a light sandwich in the morning and a second sandwich at lunch.

It was 7.30 pm and outside it was already getting dark. “Another rainy evening” she said to herself looking through the windshield at the teeming streets deserted by passers-by and mushroomed with cars.

Waiting at the traffic lights, she felt a sense of tiredness like never before. “I am so awfully tired” she murmured, tired of everything she knew, of too much work, of too many responsibilities of being supportive and cheerful when the others were down, of receiving less than she ever imagined.

She was not a religious person, not now as an adult. She used to pray when she was little but when one is a child everything is so simple and easy. As an adult she became too practical and she felt that strong religious beliefs are for weaker souls. Her life had been filed with too many disasters and misery and she always felt that only those born with a silver teaspoon were to have a good life.

At 25, Melina Saunders knew that she was to work to keep a roof over her head, to pay for food and clothes. With a household to run and take care of, she did not have time for herself. Looking back she sensed her mere existence was full of ties and responsibilities, her brother and sister were still in school and her mother was ill and when not in the hospital then at home struggling to live each day without being too much of a burden. All in all, she was the one whom the other depended on. So it did not give her time to think about what she wanted or needed.

There were moments when she longed for something to change in her life as in the romantic novels or Mexican telenovelas when the poor girl is rewarded with love and an exquisite life.

           After forty-five minutes driving, she left the highway and there were five more kilometers to the supermarket when she noticed an overturned car outside the road. Her reason told her to keep on driving, her inner feeling told her to stop, probably something happened and someone might need her help. So debated for a minute what she should do and in the end Ana stopped the car, took her raincoat, got off and went to the abandoned car. She left the headlights as it was still raining and she could hardly see a thing through all the darkness. Using her mobile phone flashlight she guided her steps and reaching to the car, she tried to see if someone was inside. She heard some moans and directed the light she could see a person was there, face up. She came closer and she noted a man was injured. She tried to be calm although her hands were trembling. She could see only a part of his body due to the headlights so she could not assess how injured he was. She checked for vital signs as she could feel he was breathing.

“Oh, dear me!” she said to herself “what should I do?” She realized it was difficult for her to drag him out as the man seemed as big as a bear and she did not have enough strength.

 “Sir, do you hear me? I am Ana and I would like to help you. Do you hear me?” she asked. As she received no reply, she left the phone down, kneeled down near him and put her hands on his shoulders and on his face trying to feel for any possible injuries and bent down whispering to his ear:

“Do you hear me? Are you hurt? Can you move?” she asked. No movements, only muffled words.

“All right, all right, do not move if it hurts” she said, still talking to the injured man, “I shall call the emergency line. It is the best thing to do. I can barely see and I do not want to hurt you in any way. I cannot drag you out and I do not know if it is advisable. You had an accident and… Do you feel your legs and arms?”

As she received no reply, she reached to her mobile and dialed the number.

“Hello, I called to report an accident” she said to the operator. “Where am I? Hmm… I just left the highway; I am close to Edale, I… I believe 5 kilometers to Edale, in the Hope Valley.”

“Is there someone else with you that may help you?”

“ No, it is just me alone with the person injured so I really need you to come.”

“We will be there shortly, miss, do not worry” answered the steady voice.

She gave further details of how she found the injured person and the operator told her to wait for the emergency crew to arrive.

“Would you tell me your name?” she asked, trying to get an answer. Still, no reply.

She sensed some movements and put her hands on his shoulders.

“Help me…” the voice said.

“Shhh, you have to stay put until the crew arrives. It is better not to move.”

She knew the only sensible thing to do was to stay with him until the emergency crew arrived and talked to him.

 “What shall I do?” she said, forcing herself to be calm and keep her composure. “I am sorry, I cannot… Oh, my God, if you let this happen to me, please help me find a solution, too.” She realized that she was asking for help, something she usually did not do. She used to depend on herself then realized there were things she could not control.

“All right” she said to herself “I will talk to him but please God, do not let him die!”

And then to the injured man: “Why did you have to be so big, hmm? I could have dragged you out or you could do it by yourself if you were slim. Did you eat all your fruits and vegetables when you were little?”

She kept her hands on him, touching his shoulders, his face and his head and talking to him.

“I will tell you something… something I have not told anyone. When I was little did you know my dream was to become a theatre actress? I lived my first school years in Sheffield with my grandmother. I remember how I sneaked after classes to The Crucible to watch the auditions. I used to be in the backstage as all things happened there; it was the center of the universe for me. I paid attention to the actors’ every movement and line and I imagine myself to be one of them. I believe it was the best time of my life. I would not trade those years for anything else.”

Ana felt tears stinging her eyes “I am sorry I am too sentimental now. Look” she said whipping her tears “I believe the emergency crew is due to arrive, I can see some lights”.

During those minutes she felt something was changing inside her. For the first time since she was a little girl she prayed as she used to do with her grandmother. She felt as if a burden was being dragged out of her heart and she could breath easily now.

“I want you to live, you know? You have to struggle a bit and live. Do not give up!” she said. She felt one of his shoulders moving and she could hear he was trying to speak.

“Stay with me!” he muffled.

“I will, I will stay until the crew arrives” she said, caressing his hair and trying to offer him comfort.

In the near distance the red and blue lights were merging through the rain creating a dim

mélange of colors and sounds. Then, in some seconds the emergency crew was near her and from that moment everything happened very fast.

Later on, she remembered that the police asked her lots of questions (she did not know when they arrived) and she was so tired, soaked to her bones that she could barely offer clear details. With great effort, the man was dragged off the car and when the stretcher was near her, in a fraction of a second he opened his eyes. Grey-blue eyes were piercing her and for a moment everything froze around her. It was like one of those moments in the theatre plays when the heavy silence covers both the stage and the audience.

“Oh, God, please do not let him die!” she realized she had said this to herself during the entire time she was with him, touching and talking to him. During those moments she became aware more than she had been until now of the presence of God in her life.

Her eyes filled with tears as he was taken away in the ambulance.

Every action she performed afterwards happened in a haze, going to her car, driving to the supermarket, shopping, reaching home, cooking dinner and going to bed. Only when she put herself to bed and closed her eyes she realized how tired and frail she felt.

One week after the accident, Ana was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for her brother and sister. It was Saturday and she was to be at the office for a few hours. She looked through her window as the day was breaking with light. The morning came unsurprisingly sunny after the rain of the previous days and it was announcing itself to be warm and mellow as a genuine April day. Her thoughts were running to her childhood days when she enjoyed the beautiful spring days. The doorbell rang and startled Ana out of her reverie.

“I will open the door!” her sister shouted and rushed to the door before Ana could say something. She heard her sister was talking to someone and a rich deep voice reached to her from the hallway.

“Yes, she is here” she heard her sister saying. She raised her eyes and she was still in a second. Her hand remained suspended with the bottle of milk she wanted to pour over the cereal bowl. A pair of grey-blue eyes was looking at her without blinking. The man in front of her smiled timidly, his smile reaching to his eyes. Ana realized that the same eyes that looked at her in the evening of the accident were looking at her now in a way that bedazzled her. She wanted to say something but she could not find her voice. She just realized like a déjà-vu movement that something definitely wonderful was waiting for her. “Thank you, God” she said to herself, “thank you for keeping him alive”.

“Good morning” the man in front of her said “I am sorry to interrupt, that I have not called before but I wanted to come to thank you.”

She put her bottle of milk on the table transfixed by the presence of him in her house. All she could say was “Hi” and it seemed it was all the encouragement he needed to continue talking.

“I do apologize I came unannounced” and he advanced a few steps and reached his hand to her. “I am Josh Colville, by the way.” She shook her hand with his and smiled.

“I am Ana” she said.

“Yes, I know. Thank you, Ana for keeping me alive.”

In the small kitchen in Edale village in the Hope Valley near Sheffield for minutes on end the time stood still. A man and a woman were looking at each other, warm smiles reflecting in their eyes.

Her awareness came to her that very moment. Ana realized in a flash that during all the time she thought she was alone, God had never deserted her. She remembered what her grandmother used to say to her “When a life ends one of its cycles, something wonderful is going to happen. If you feel that life takes you something, you have to know that you will receive something better. You just have to keep the faith.” And she knew that each moment she went through was to make her stronger, to prepare her for that “wonderful something” that her grandmother used to tell her.

And it was also true that most awareness in life one may have it in the most unexpected places.

Later on she realized his presence in her life was to completely turno ver her inner life. If she was to look at the world as a stage, each person was to play his own part in the life journey.