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Funny Friendship

Sixteen couples had finished enjoying a golf outing at the Sands Resort in southern Indiana. They were all currently enjoying an evening meal in a private room at the resort. The meal was excellent, and everybody was talking about the good and bad golf shots of the day. Ted stood up and began handing out the prizes that were part of the golf outing. He noticed that one of the couples, Neil and Chris, was not present. He thought to himself that he would save any rewards for them until the end of the presentations.

Then everyone hears a commotion coming from the hall outside of their room. Some person is loudly saying he is going into the room to join the party and that he did not care what they thought.  When the person came into the room everyone erupted with laughter because they were looking at Neil, who is dressed as a disheveled elderly woman. When Neil gets inside the room, he says hello to everyone and that she is known as Mama Rosita.  She comments that not all of you know this fact, but Guido is my son. He has told me so much about all of you that I just had to see the group in person.  She started to walk proactively around the table, commenting that she has never been in a room with so many handsome men. As she walked, she would pat some of the men on the shoulder or rumple their hair. The laughter was so loud by now that some of the employees came to the door of the room to determine what was happening. They saw a person that has a headscarf wrapped around her head, which had red and black squares on it.  She was wearing an old blue blouse that matched her bright blue eyes. The blouse was bulging with something she had stuffed in a brassiere. She was wearing a bright yellow cotton dress that was hanging loosely from her hips. Her dress stopped at her knees where a pair of rolled-up nylons were seen. Last but certainly not the least was a pair of unkept work shoes that were definitely too big for her. 

Rosita is carrying a hand full of cut roses and she proceeds to give each lady in the room a rose. As Rosita walks around the room, she stops at some of the men in the room and comments on their golf round. One of the men she stops at is Alan, and she is silently standing behind him. Rosita starts to rub Alan’s head telling him he has a very nice smooth head.  Alan is very nervous because Rosita is still rubbing his head and he does not know what she is going to do next. Suddenly she bends over and kisses Alan on top of his head. Alan turns a bright red as Rosita kissed his head and the room once again erupts into laughter. She continues moving around the room. She stops and turns to look back at Alan. She then says to him that he needs to wipe the lipstick off his head since people will wonder what he has been doing.  She continues walking and when she reaches Jim, he jumps up from his chair, grabs Mama, and bends her over giving her a huge hug. Jim finished the hug and Mama thanks, Jim, for the lovely hug and then continues moving around the table telling Jim that she will see him later tonight. She then smiles and says “I am sure that you know what that means!’. While Mama is going from person to person, she is always adjusting her blouse saying that she just cannot find a brassiere that supports her voluptuous body correctly. Once again laughter fills the room.

As Mama passes the last person, she grabs her glass of wine and once again adjusts her blouse. She raises the glass and gives a toast to good friends and wishes everyone a good round of golf the next day. She bids them all farewell and leaves the room. The group claps loudly and bids Mama Rosita farewell.  They could not believe that Neil would dress up as Mama Rosita. It was a wonderful time for all of them. Rosita left the room and changed back into Neil. He then went to the bar where most of the couples were. 

The entire group had asked Ted to tell them about Neil’s background because they would never have thought he would dress up and perform as he did. Ted said that Neil was raised in a small town of three thousand people in northwest Ohio. He started working when he was seven or eight years old. He was assigned the task of moving the furnace clinkers from the coal-burning furnace. He was paid ten cents a five-gallon bucket to carry the clinkers to the alley at the back of their lot where they would get picked up. The rest of his early years he delivered three different newspapers in the town. He also delivered milk in the town and the surrounding area.  At first, he only helped the milkman deliver the milk from a horse-drawn wagon. Later the route was expanded to include the surrounding area and a truck was used for delivery that contained the milk.  

He graduated in 1961 from the local high school. After graduation, he attended college at Bowling Green State University, where he earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Mathematics and Physics. After graduating from college, he went to graduate school at Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, NJ. He graduated from there with a Master of Science degree in Applied Physics. He then left the east coast area and returned to the mid-west taking a position at Bendix Corporation. He worked there for two years, performing simulation work of anti-ballistic missile systems. He then went to work for Cummins Engine Company where he simulated fuel systems and valve trains that were part of the diesel engine that Cummins manufactured. After thirty-three years he left Cummins to work for a small company that performed contract work for Cummins.

I met Neil while we were both working at Cummins, and he worked very hard and was a reserved employee. We often played golf together. There was one occasion that may have implied that Neil would do something like Rosita, but at the time I did not think about it. I had given a party one night for five or six couples. The party was to solve a mystery and each person had a part to perform in solving the mystery. Neil had the part of Guido, who was the guilty person who had performed the murder. At the time, he was dressed up in a tuxedo and played the part of the murderer very well. However, I never thought that he would someday perform as Mama Rosita. This was truly out of character and out of Neil’s comfort zone.

March 01, 2022 20:35

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