The Privileged One

                                          The Privileged One

                                                      By Jane Muzyka

                                                      1497 words

     Joshua Greenspan smiled to himself as he walked past the school he attended, pleased that he had the privilege of making this choice. He would finally be able to become the person he had always wanted to be and relief was starting to comfort him. His mother had always been supportive of him, but so many others had tried too hard to be controlling of his life.

    His mother had understood, perhaps because she had been in a similar situation when she was growing up. His mom had always been a tomboy when she was younger, but she had told Joshua that she had always wanted more than that. Rebecca Greenspan had revealed to her son that she had always wanted to be a guy, but it wasn’t possible back then as it was now.

    So when Rebecca’s own son Joshua was just three years old and had expressed the desire to wear women’s high heels or play with miniature furniture in a dollhouse, she had never discouraged him for being who he wanted to be. Rebecca Greenspan actually tried to influence Josh into developing into the individual he wanted to be because she felt it was important to let Josh have that privilege and be proud about it.

    Joshua was grateful that his mother was such a positive influence in his life because so many others resented that Josh wanted to be different than other boys his own age. Josh’s grandfather had objected so many times to Josh’s various desires and it upset Josh that his grandfather was so negative about everything.

    Josh tried to think about when he realized he was different than other boys. He believed it was right from the very beginning. He remembered going over Shawn and Kelly’s house when he was just a toddler. Shawn wanted to play with cars and Legos and all Josh wanted to do was play with Shawn’s sister Kelly and her dollhouse. When Josh went home and asked his mom and grandfather for a dollhouse, his grandfather scolded him because he felt that dollhouses were just for girls. 

   So Josh really looked forward to going over Shawn and Kelly’s house because Kelly had a beautiful big dollhouse with so many pieces of furniture to put in it. Even though Shawn and Kelly lived a distance away from Joshua, Rebecca made a point of always scheduling play dates with them so that Josh could play with Kelly and her fabulous dollhouse.

    Then Shawn and Kelly had to move to another state, and with them went Kelly’s beautiful dollhouse with all the wonderful furniture. Josh honestly missed that dollhouse with all the fancy furniture more than he missed Shawn and Kelly. He knew Kelly’s dollhouse was very expensive and he would probably never have a chance to play with such a beautiful playhouse again.

    Rebecca Greenspan always went way out of her way to accommodate Josh and he didn’t believe she did that because she felt sorry that he was growing up without a dad. Josh actually knew his mom did it because he felt she wanted him to be the person he was meant to be. So right from the start when Josh asked for a dollhouse and some furniture to go with it because he would no longer be able to go over Shawn and Kelly’s house to play with her dollhouse, Mrs. Greenspan went out and bought a dollhouse for her son along with some furniture.

    “I’m sorry I can’t afford a dollhouse as big and beautiful as the one Kelly had,” lamented Josh’s mom.

    “That’s okay,” said Josh. “I just enjoy putting the furniture in the rooms of the house.”

    That dollhouse caused a lot of heartache for Josh, especially when his grandfather rebelled against letting Josh keep the dollhouse. Jacob Greenspan yelled at his daughter-in-law for buying the dollhouse and he snatched the dollhouse away from Josh. 

   “No grandson of mine is going to be playing with dolls in a dollhouse,” screamed Jacob.

    “But I don’t want to play with dolls,” insisted Josh. “I just want to put furniture in the dollhouse.”

  “No!” yelled his grandfather, taking the dollhouse away from his grandson.

    Rebecca tried to reason with her father-in-law. “There’s nothing wrong with Josh wanting to have a dollhouse. He enjoys playing with the furniture and maybe someday he would like to work with wood and make furniture or cabinets.”

   “Absolutely not!” screamed Jacob. “No dollhouse for boys!”  Josh’s grandfather uttered, taking the dollhouse out of the house. Josh never saw that dollhouse again, even though he kept begging his grandfather to bring it back. But his grandfather never heeded Josh’s pleas. Fortunately Josh’s mother was more reasonable. She bought Josh another dollhouse that they hid in the attic and managed to keep it a secret from Josh’s grandfather.

    That wasn’t the first time that Jacob Greenspan had objected to something Josh wanted. When Josh and his mom went shopping once Josh had selected some white lacey socks for himself. Jacob Greenspan had disapproved of that selection. “No boy should have any white lacey socks,” he complained.

   “He is just a young boy,” said Rebecca, defending her son. “He likes them.”

   “If you keep giving him this girlie stuff he is never going to outgrow this, “ said his grandfather.

    So the battles had started early for Josh. He even had a difficult time with playmates his own age. He lived in a neighborhood where there were just girls.  Whenever he had a birthday party he would invite all the neighborhood children, but when one of the little girls in his neighborhood had a birthday party, she would never invite Josh to her party because her mother only let her invite girls to the party.  Josh had felt so left out each year when that girl had a party and he was wasn’t invited.

    “I don’t know why Janet’s mother won’t let her invite boys to her party. I really wish I could go. I really like Janet and her mom just won’t let me be invited,” whined Josh.

   Rebecca was heartbroken that her son was so upset. She knew he yearned to be a part of the gang that was enjoying the party and she felt bad that her son was being excluded just because he was a boy. She decided that she would mention it to Janet’s mother.

    “Janet doesn’t like boys,” explained Janet’s mother. “She thinks they are yucky so that is why boys aren’t invited to her birthday parties.”

    Rebecca’s heart sank. Janet came to Josh’s birthday parties, but wouldn’t invite Josh to her birthday parties. She knew how hurt Josh felt about this, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Joshua would just have to accept the fact that he wasn’t being included when everyone else in the neighborhood was because they were all girls and he was the only boy.

    Some people thought that Josh had feminine traits because he was being raised by a single mom, his father having died when Josh was just an infant. But Josh knew that wasn’t it. He knew that he didn’t feel like he was a girl just because he was being raised by his mother with no father figure in the house. It was something more than that. Besides his grandfather lived next door to them and he certainly tried to be the father figure in Josh’s life since Jacob Greenspan’s only son had died in the Persian Gulf War.

    As Josh grew older, the girls in the neighborhood no longer bothered with him and he never had anyone else to play with. He became a loner and had a difficult time talking to others. 

That was when Josh decided to become Josette. He brought the subject up to his mother and she was supportive of the idea. His grandfather had passed away the previous year, so he was relieved he wouldn’t have to receive any backlash from him. He was just glad that his mother was so agreeable with the idea. Perhaps it was because she herself did not have this opportunity years ago. That was why Josh considered himself to be so privileged to be able to do this.

     Josette Greenspan would be a strong woman. Josette would be the person Josh always longed to be. There was no more need to listen to the others. Josette would be her own person. Josette would rescue Josh and be the salvation that was so much needed. It was so wonderful being the privileged one and Josette would cherish being the person Josh always longed to be.

    Josette smiled now as she walked through the halls of the high school. She didn’t care if they stared or if they talked. She had made it for she was finally able to be the person she had always wanted to be.  She was so proud and happy to be the privileged one.