Funny Kids Happy

Looking out of the back window I saw something sparkling white, gleaming in the Winter’s sun. I pressed my face against the cold glass. A deer walked past in the distance, pawing at the glittering snow, searching for food. I shivered, backing away from the glass moving towards the warm fireplace, it melted my frozen face and hands. 

“Eria! Lunch is ready!” my mom called from the kitchen. 

“Coming!” I called back, standing up.  Taking one last look outside the window, I noticed that glittering stars were falling from the sky. Bouncing over to the kitchen table I sat down and started telling mom about the wondrous thing outside. 

“It comes during wintertime” she laughed, adding a piece of turkey to the layout of sandwiches in front of her. My eyes lit up. Snow is such a pretty thing, and I really wanted to play in it. 

“Can I go outside?” I asked, as she handed me my sandwich. 

“Well, we don’t have any winter clothes but we can see if we can find some. And I don’t want you going without any on because you catch a cold” Mom said thinking. Excited, I shoveled my lunch into my mouth so I could go call my best friend Penelope, we used to be neighbors until my family moved to North Carolina. We promised each other we’d keep in touch no matter what. 

“Can I use your phone?” I asked, my voice quivering with anticipation. 

“Sure, calling Penelope again?” Mom asked. 

“Yep!” I grabbed her phone and I practically ran to my room, dialing her number. Ring, ring, ring then, “Hello”? 

“Hi, is this Mrs. Adler?” I asked. 

“Yes, I’m guessing you would like to talk to Penelope?” Mrs. Adler said. I nodded, then remembering she couldn't see me I said, “Yes please!” I waited patiently. 

“Hey Eira! What’s up?” Penelope’s voice sounded from the other end. 

“You’ll never guess what happened today!” I exclaimed, I knew her so well I could almost see her brown eyes popping with excitement.

“What? Tell me tell me!” Penelope said, anticipation in her voice. 

“It snowed!” 

“Really? Have you touched it yet?” she asked, in awe. 

“No not yet, we don’t have any winter clothes since this is our first winter here since we moved from California. But I really want to but I can't, my mom won’t let me. ” I explained. 

“If only I could go and visit you, then we could have so much fun together!” Penelope said longingly. 

“I could send you a picture after we’re done talking if you want.” I offered, sitting on my bed. 

“That would be amazing thanks!” she said gleefully. And so we talked for two hours straight. We only stopped talking when Penelope’s phone died. 

 I leaned my head against the window and sat there watching the snow that had started to flurry. I imagined all of the fun things I would do in the snow. I decided I’d build a snowman right outside my window so I could always see it. 

Wrapped in warm jackets and scarves I was dancing merrily in the snow, Penelope right next to me. We were dancing, spraying snow everywhere. Next we were building a snowman with an extra long carrot for a nose. Now we were having an epic snowball fight. Penelope threw a snowball and I caught it with my face! I sat up abruptly, realizing that the delightful scene was only a dream and the snowball on my face was only the cold window.

Sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I shivered a little. Wiping my hand across the glass to see outside. I saw my dad walking up the icy driveway. I opened my window and shouted out to him. 

“Hey dad! It snowed!” 

“Really? I hadn’t noticed!” he joked. I smiled and went to meet him at the door. 

When he opened the door a whirl of snow came in and landed on the floor. My dad’s brown hair was dotted with snow, which made him look like he was wearing an acorn with powdered sugar on top. 

“How’s my muffin?” Dad said, picking me up and turning me upside down. I laughed my head off, mom came in shaking her head. 

“I’m telling you one day you’re going to make a milkshake with her.” she laughed, tickling my stomach. My dad set me on the ground again, I felt the blood rush from my head and I stumbled a little. Remembering the promise I made to Penelope I asked, “Can I use your phone? I told Penelope I’d send her a picture of the snow!” 

“Sure, just don’t drop my phone in the snow.” Mom laughed, handing me her phone. I ran over to the back door and pulled it open, a big blast of cold air made me shiver. I felt a little nervous about going outside so I snapped a picture from inside. After I sent it to Penelope, I carefully closed the door.

“Want to watch a movie after dinner?” Dad asked as we sat down to eat. I nodded, I couldn’t say anything because my mouth was full of chicken.  I swallowed my mouthful and shoveled the rest of my dinner down as quickly as I could. 

Soon I was sitting comfortably on the couch, my parents on either side of me, a bowl of buttery popcorn in my hands. 

“What movie are we going to watch?” I asked. 

“Whichever one your heart desires!” Mom replied. I thought for a moment, running all the Disney movies ever made through my mind. I’ve seen every one of their movies ever made, I’m a bit of a Disney expert. 

“Let’s watch Frozen.” I decided. Dad nodded and found the movie. 

It was well past bedtime when the movie was over, I yawned a great big yawn. 

“I think it’s time for bed.” Dad said, seeing me yawn. I did not protest, my eyes were drooping and a warm bed sounded great. I trooped off to my room and flopped onto my bed. 

Bright, warming sunlight shined through the window. I didn’t want to wake up but I knew my mom would have a list of chores for me to do throughout the house. I smelled what smelt like banana bread, which got me out of bed and into the kitchen. 

“Here's the milkshake!” Mom said as I entered the kitchen, I smiled sleepily.  

“Where’s the banana bread?” I asked, smelling the air.

“In the oven, it’s almost done.” she said, motioning that I sit at the table. She took the bread out of the oven and set it out to cool. My stomach grumbled hungrily  at the sight of it. I cut two slices and buttered them. 

“Thanks mom!” I said, clearing my plate. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Mom said, as I got up from my seat.

“Somewhere?” I said meekly. 

“Can you start the dishwasher?” Mom asked, though it was less of a question and more of a statement. I started washing off the dishes, staring out of the window into the glittering snow. I longed to go out there, but knowing I’d become a frozen Erisicle stopped me. 

All day I was running around the house, doing chores, no time to dream of snow. Finally mom said I could have a break and I decided to lounge in my room. After an hour of doing nothing I heard the front door open and someone calling my name. 

“Coming!” I called back. I noticed dad was holding a bundle in his arms, I wondered what it could be. 

“Close your eyes and hold out your arms Eria.” he said, now I was getting suspicious but I did as I was told. I felt something soft and heavy being placed on my arms. “Okay open your eyes!” My eyes opened and I looked down at what I was holding. There was a bubble gum pink jacket, pants, and boots! I smiled widely, they had gotten me snow clothes! I set them down and hugged them both. 

“Can I put them on?” I asked, not wanting to wait a second longer. 

“I don’t see why not!” Dad said. Soon I was dressed, I looked like a fluffy pink marshmallow. I walked over to the back door and opened it, a rush of a cold air blew in my face. I cautiously took a step outside, a crunch another step, crunch. I found the sound funny, I started jumping into the snow and each time there was a small squeesh sound. After listening to the funny sounds I started making snowballs and threw them at my parents. I then turned my attention to making a snowman, I named him Freddy, he was right outside my window just like I had imagined. After a few hours of this fun I got cold and decided to go inside and curl up in my bed. Staring out the window I saw Freddy staring back at me with coal eyes. 

“Goodnight Freddy.” I muttered sleepily.

**A thanks to my dad who helped me edit this story**

January 22, 2021 05:49

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I think that you and your dad did an awesome job writing an editing this story! I have no critiques for this because it's all polished and fixed! Wow Kay, I think that this story was really amazing. Great job!! :)


Kay (:
18:07 Jan 24, 2021

Thanks! I sort of modeled the dad in the story to my dad(:


Your welcome, also that's very cool! :)


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07:55 Feb 10, 2021

Nice story but you did repeat pronouns some times. Repetition of pronoun makes the sentence stroppy. Sometimes you use adverbs in the middle of the sentence improperly. The next example can briefly shows how you missed some techniques. Repetition of a pronoun I in the next dialog and usage of adverb on indecorous place: “Yep!” I grabbed her phone and I practically ran to my room, dialing her number. Ring, ring, ring then, “Hello”? The correct technique is: “Yep!” I grabbed her phone and ran to my room practically, dialing her number.


Kay (:
19:28 Feb 10, 2021

Well, it seems the same either way, stroppy? Stroppy means bad-tempered so I don't know what you mean by that.


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Karma Karima
20:19 Jan 23, 2021

Innocent story !


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Shayla Linden
20:10 Jan 23, 2021

Your story was very sweet and innocent. It had a consistent tone and I enjoyed the characters. Just a friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialoged of your story, unless you're following the dialogue with an action and not a dialoged tag. Also while your story was nice it didn't follow a dramatic structure. If this is what you were going for then that's fine. But most stories have the introduction, rising action, climax, falling action, then resolution. While reading your story there seemed to be no conflict and it f...


Kay (:
20:40 Jan 23, 2021

Yeah I did, glad you liked it! I'll keep that in mind. Now that I think about it, it does feel like a journal entry! Thanks again!^^


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