The Decision...

"Just say it" , you silently reminded yourself. You knew you'd regret it if you didn't. Yet, at that moment, you couldn't find your voice to say two letters, one word, "NO".

Your friends were extending a packet in your direction, some white powder in it, probably cocaine.

The very word, 'drugs' made you uncomfortable. Yet, here you were, with a group of your very own best friends, who wanted you to try one of them.

These were the girls you grew up with. The girl holding the packet was the very friend who had gifted you your first Barbie doll. You thought about the time she sat next to you in second grade, extending her lunch box in your direction everyday; the time she extended her hand to help you get up after you had tripped on your own shoelace.

Now, she was extending your doom in your direction.

You remembered how lively these girls used to be, their laughter echoing through every hall of every room they had ever been in, a constant irritant to the professors who taught, yet they were loved by all; a bunch of idiots who could make boring breakfasts bearable with their silly jokes and could be energetic even after an especially tiring day, until a few months back- when the powder had entered their lives. You knew that they partied hard and now guessed that it was probably a habit they had picked up at some bar. Since then, they had been behaving pretty mysteriously- wearing sun glasses inside the hostel room you shared and sleeping long hours. Even when awake, they couldn't respond properly to anything you asked and were constantly muttering unintelligible stuff. You could not point your finger at the cause until now- when the packet with the powder inside helped you join the dots, connecting the mysteries of months past. You felt stupid for having assumed them to be hungover.

You could hear one of them saying, "Try it girl, it is just the kind of stuff for an adventurous and fun-loving person like you."

You were tempted.

You could hear another friend mumbling an apology for not having let you in on the secret earlier. As usual, you couldn't comprehend her unintelligible excuse.

Now that your friends had let you in on their secret, you felt the need to be an active part of it, you wanted to take the packet in your hands. You had been with them through thick and thin, every activity was a group activity with them and you saw no reason to be left out now.

You lifted your hands to accept the packet but ran your fingers through your hair as though you had lifted your hand for that very purpose; something was stopping you.

You could hear your mother's voice in your head, "I trust you".

You remembered her smile and how it was enough to send a feeling of warmth through your body. You knew that the smile would eventually wither if you became a slave to that powder.

You remembered your father's words, "We have given you the roots, hopefully strong ones, now the wings are yours."; you pondered over how devastated the man would feel if you misuse your freedom for self-destruction instead of growth.

You thought about your brother. You knew that, by developing this new habit, you'd be giving him a reason to follow in your footsteps too, and things would not get any better from thereon , because you would not even be worthy of advising him against it.

You shuffled your feet due to the discomfort caused by this realization.

Then you thought that you could try it... just this once. Once never hurt anyone.

Suddenly, you remembered the man you loved and the future you had envisioned together with him. If that powder entered your life, it would become your priority; it would become your master and you, it's slave. With increasing substance dependence, you would become a burden to him and you knew that it would only be a matter of time before he left you for another woman, probably in better control of her life.

The very thought pained you.

Yet, here was this powder that your buddies wanted you to try. You loved your friends very much and couldn't refuse them anything; you had never done so before.

Yes, the powder was tempting; the very idea of having to just snort it to be transported to a whole new world was very much tempting.

" Just try it this one time... once does not hurt" you told yourself. But deep in your heart and head too, you knew that probably this was how every drug addict started out.

Something was stopping you.

Confused, you looked away. in the distance, you could see a mother swinging her toddler in her arms. Both mother and child were happily giggling.

You smiled despite your confusion, for it was a beautiful sight to behold.

You thought about the child you would be bringing into the world, sometime in the distant future. If you become a drug addict, you knew that your child would be born one too. It will be dropped into this world in so much pain for no fault of it's own.

"Just say it", you reminded yourself. You were sure that you'd regret it for the rest of your life of you didn't.

A hitherto buried courage arose; it set off a spark in you that set fire to your heart. Unwavering, you looked at your friends in the eye and said, "NO". For a moment, you could see shock in their eyes, which was immediately followed by anger,for, not once had you refused to join them before.

And you walked away. You knew that talking to them would've been futile as they hadn't listened to their own better judgement before; also, they were angry. What could be more foolish than asking an angry person to listen to her rationality?

You knew what you'd lost that day- three girls who you loved so dearly, who were in every childhood memory of yours.

Yet, your heart felt light, your stride was confident, there was a proud smile on your lips: your decision was right, it was one that your future self would thank you for. There was no looking back!