Lost by Memories by Khuzaimah Khurshid

I felt the winds rushed towards me, it came in the eye of a lightening bolt. The scene of bloody trials and immense emotions that piled up against the chest made me fall down in pain. “Emily, where are you?” The voice in the distant and it was very faint as soon when I realized that the world surrounding me went pure black. 

“Emily Ricks, you were outstanding today, and was very intelligent and outspoken in the meeting today,” exclaimed my boss, Patterson. “Keep it up, and who might have known, you might be the best candidate for the manager position.” I was surprised and excited at the same time, why in the world are good things happening to me. I deserved it though. Every hard work and every effort I made in that presentation made me worthy of that. No matter what Sally told me of my shortcomings at work, I can now finally ignore them and get back to work. 

I went home early that evening to cherish my husband and son. “I missed you,” proclaimed Harry. We have been in a fight for the past month and were finally ignoring each other. However, it was his actions that made me very upset. I remembered every single detail, he was profoundly lying to me about his wherebouts, every time I asked him where he was, he would tell me that he is in his office, where he would be in the corner having chit chat with his old friends. Trust was the most important factor in our relationship, but however it was not enough for me to stop loving him. My husband, Harry, is an accountant and a workaholic just like me. He would see things from my perspective and would also see how hurt I was. “I missed you too, but you have to promise that you would not do such a thing like that again.” 

“I promise.” I went upstairs to see my son, Tommy, and there he was building a rocket ship, and I presumed that every five-year old would love to do that. I kissed him goodnight and stumbled across my bedroom to tell Harry the good news. 

“Are you okay, madam?” The paramedics asked me at the scene. I was unresponsive. “Her head was hit right at the spot,” one of the paramedics explained. “She needs to go to the hospital right now.” “She cannot respond or react after several resuscitations” The voices were distant and faint, I could still hear them but they were not in my reach. I remember the neurosurgeon that came and examined me when I woke up from surgery. He was a kind man and I could see the kindness in light blue eyes when he asked me how I was doing. “I feel dizzy and have headaches.” “Well, we can for sure give you something for that,” he responded with such politeness. “Do you know where you are?” He asked with firmness in his voice. 

“Yeah, I am in the hospital.” 

“Good. Now can you tell me what happened before the paramedics got you?” 

I went silent for a couple of moments, and very confused. 

I took a sigh of terror when I told him “no I don’t remember”. 

I woke up that morning and realized how grateful I was to have such a beautiful and refreshing morning. The freshness came with the smell of coffee, and there I was in the arms of my husband. I had finally told him that I might get the position of manager soon. He with his usual moods, gave me a kiss and told me that he was proud of me, proud of my achievements. He was getting late for work, so I quickly packed him a tuna sandwich. “I love you,” I whispered with kiss on his cheek. “I love you more.” I waved him goodbye and there he was headed towards town. I quickly went upstairs and woke up Tommy so he won’t be late for school. Tommy was very stubborn in his usual ways. I got him up and ready for the breakfast and ran him to the school bus. It was an okay day for me, I was in a rush to get to my office so I could impress my boss Patterson even more. When I entered the building, I was shocked. I was shocked to learn that I had received the manager position. I was so proud and jumped up with laughter and excitement. Rush of emotions were fighting against me and I knew I had to stop immediately to greet my employers and my boss. My boss showed me the office and the workload. I was surprised. I would love to celebrate even more, but however I wanted to get home early again that evening. 

I remembered everything. Everything until the point where I reached home and saw the darkness and it was dark and gloomy. I called to see where my husband and son was. They were in the backyard. I could not believe the sight and I gasped for air and screamed until all of my lungs were drawn out of my chest. My husband and my son were in the pool of blood and I felt so weak and called for an ambulance. When I reached for the phone, I heard footsteps. They were coming from the backyard. I took glimpse of who it was, it was Sally. My own sister. She had done this, how could she. I knew she was very cold-hearted from the beginning but this was way too much. Way too much for me to handle. She saw me with her bloody and murderous eyes, with the clean-slate butcher knife in her hand. I screamed and ran to save my own life. I kept running without ever looking back, and that was when I hit a tree and lost consciousness. 

“Okay, Emily, since you cannot remember anything prior to the accident, then you might have the diagnosis of retrograde amnesia, I am really sorry that this ever happened to you and I am so sorry for the loss of of your family, we are going to get to the bottom of this,” explained the neurosurgeon. I stared at the white, colourless ceiling wall above the room. It reminded me of something light other than darkness. It was the bright light to my darkness. The only thing that I could ever think of was my sister, Sally, roaming free in the city. This was a dangerous kind of thing to ever let go of and not bring the fact up that the murder of my son and my husband was done by my own sister, Sally. I did not have words to explain that to the authorities who were out there investigating this case. However, it was time to buck it up, like they always say it in Minnesota. I came out of my hospital bed and went home several weeks later. Along the ride home, I did not know what came over and told them that she remembered everything that happened and Sally was the reason behind the murder of my son and husband. The driver was shocked and called the police immediately. I know that I did not want to remember any of the incident but I also know that if I had not told them the truth, then Sally would have already murdered me. 

Days past and Sally was finally behind bars. The rest few moments of my life was very dark and lonely. It felt like I was trapped in a black hole and just needed the light. I could not go back to work, and could not focus on the upcoming assignments that a manger should focus on. However, after a very exhausting day, I went back to my new apartment and saw the white ceiling. It reminded me of something, something good that happened in the hospital. It reminded no matter how many bad days will come, and not matter how shocking events will occur, I AM STILL ALIVE. Alive enough to be a manger, the dream job that I have been dying to overcome. Moreover, I even remember the time when my husband was proud of me becoming a manger. I realized one thing for sure, you don’t want to remember anything bad, but if you do then maybe there is a little hope that you might remember something that is good.