The House in the Country

Submitted into Contest #92 in response to: Set your story in a countryside house that’s filled with shadows.... view prompt

8 comments

Horror Urban Fantasy Thriller

The back door to the house was locked, but a swift kick to the jam popped it open. Six teenagers walked into the dimly lit dwelling. The air was stale and musty; it was offensive to the senses.

At one time, the old home sat on a manicured yard laced with roses, dogwoods, and hydrangeas. Flower beds lined the edges of the foundations, and flowers burst forth with an array of colors. Mother Nature dipped her brush onto her pallet and painted each flower with various spectacular hues, tints, and tones. Some were luminous, while others were dense and opaque.

Now, the old house was overrun with drooping branches, vines, and briars. Years of neglect and abandonment had taken their toll on the property. What once was inviting was now succumbing to the darkness and the shadows.

The For Sale sign had rusted away, hidden by weeds, briars, and wild bushes. It, too, had slowly decayed. It seemed something dark and ominous wanted the property and would stop at nothing to succeed.

“It’s really dark in here,” said Jean. “We need some lights.”

“We only have this small flashlight,” said Billy, “Maybe we can start a fire.”

“Yep,” said Jim laughing. “We can pull those drapes, and no one will see the light. I’ll find something to burn. I may have to break a few chairs.”

Minutes later, the fireplace roared with a warm and inviting fire. The dancing flames chased the shadows into hiding as it lit up the room.

“This place is spooky,” said Irene, glancing around the room.

The once immaculate sofas, tables, chairs, and lamps were coated with a thick layer of dust hiding their rich inlaid tops and finishes. The rugs still boasted their rich colors, but they also appeared to have been dusted with a light powder.

“If they catch us here, we’ll all be in trouble,” said Irene. “My dad will kill me.”

Billy laughed, “No one ever comes here. This old house has been abandoned for years.”

Jean screamed, “I saw something moving in the shadows by the stairs.”

“Stop it, Jean, you scared the daylights out of me,” said Lilly. She grabbed Jean’s hand and held it tight. “Please don’t do that again.”

The fire burned, sending shadows dancing on the walls. “I wondered why anyone would abandon a house like this,” asked Billy?

“I can tell you,” said Jim. He looked around the room and pointed to a large picture hanging over a desk. “That family there, the Johnsons, built this house, way back before any of us were born. The story goes that once they moved in, strange and eerie things begin to happen; for some reason, this old house was haunted.”

Jean interrupted, “Haunted?”

“Yes,” said Jim holding up his hands, pretending to be a ghost. He continued, “All I know is all of them were murdered, here in this house. I’ve heard it was terrible, all slaughtered, and they never knew who killed them.”

“You’re making that up,” said Jean. “You’re just trying to scare us.”

“No, not really,” said Jim. “That’s the story. Since the murders, no one has lived in this old place. They just locked it up, and here it sits.”

“Well, it makes a fine place to party,” said Irene.

They all sat around the fire drinking beer and laughing. Things couldn’t be any better; it was a great place to gather and hang out. “We should have thought of this a long time ago,” said Jim. “It’s quite nice.”

“Let’s tell some ghost stories,” said Irene. It was an excellent thought, but no one knew any terrifying stories. So they all sat and stared into the fire.

“I’ve got an idea,” said Lilly. “Let’s hold a séance and see if we can contact the people who were murdered and ask them who killed them.”

Everyone stared at the young girl, “Are you kidding,” asked Jean?

“No,” said Lilly, “It would be fun.”

“Do you know how to hold a séance,” asked Jim?

“No, but we can try,” said Lilly laughing. “Are you guys scared?” She looked around at her friends, “Well, are you guys chicken or what?”

“Let’s do it,” said Jean, “It might be fun. If anything happens, we can always run away.” They all laughed.

“Ok, what do we need to do,” asked Jim?

“Throw some more wood on the fire, find some candles, and we’ll sit in a circle, and I’ll call on the spirits that live in the shadows,” said Lilly.

“I may have to break a couple more chairs,” said Jim. “I’ll find something to burn while you guys look for the candles.”

Moments later, they all sat around the fire. They placed several candles in a circle, and the six teenagers sat around the candles holding hands. The fire created eerie shadows dancing on the walls, moving about as the flames danced.

“So now what,” asked Pete? “Guys, I don’t think this is a good idea. You’re messing with something you know little about; you may conjure up something evil.”

“Oh, don’t be a scaredy-cat,” said Lilly, “What’s the worst that can happen.”

Lilly began, “I call on the spirits that are here in this house,” said Lilly. “Show yourself, speak to us from the shadows.”

Nothing happened.

“We are here to talk to the spirits of this house,” Lilly repeated. “Come out of the shadows; we command you to appear.” She looked around and laughed, “I saw this on TV; they have to obey.”

Still, the old house was silent.

“I beseech you to appear; I command you to appear,” snapped Lilly.

A raspy voice echoed throughout the house, “Who are you to command me?”

Everyone sat silent. The shadows on the wall danced, moving back and forth guided by the flames.

“Did you hear that,” asked Lilly?

“Of course we heard it, Lilly; what was that,” asked Pete?

“It’s the spirits who lived in this house,” said Lilly.

“How do you know who it is,” asked Pete? “Guys, we need to leave. What Lilly is doing isn’t safe.”

“Don’t be so scared,” said Lilly, “The dead can’t hurt us.”

“Are you the spirits that were murdered in this house,” asked Lilly? She was proud of herself, this was her first séance, and it was working. What could possibly go wrong?

Lilly repeated, “Are you the spirits that were murdered in this house so long ago?”

The raspy voice spoke once more, “No.” The sound echoed throughout the house.

“Were you killed in this house,” Lilly asked?

“No,” said the voice.

“Who are you,” asked Lilly? “What are you doing in this house?”

“You invited me in,” said the raspy voice. “You commanded me to appear. You conjured me up from the shadows.”

“What’s your name,” asked Lilly.

“I go by many names, some call me evil, and others say I’m an abomination living in the shadows. I’ve been known as Odium, the creator of hatred. Why have you summoned me?”

Lilly sat erect, “Did you kill the people who lived here so long ago?”

Odium laughed, and the sound reverberated throughout the house. Then a low, raspy voice echoed, “Yes.”

Cold chills ran up Lilly’s back; she broke the chain of hands and said, “Let’s get out of here.”  

As the six teenagers stood to leave, the voice spoke once more. “Silly girl, don’t you know when you summon a dark spirit, you have to give him a sacrifice. You can’t awaken something like me and not pay for your actions. If you don’t offer me a sacrifice, I’ll be insulted. If you insult me, I’ll kill all of you, and you will live in the shadows too. It’s your choice.”

“What kind of sacrifice,” asked Jim? “What do you want from us? We don’t have anything to offer.”

“Oh, but you do,” said the raspy voice, “You have a soul.”

Jean, Irene, and Lilly begin to cry. Jim pleaded with the dark spirit, “Please let us leave; we meant no harm.”

“No,” shouted the raspy voice. “I must have my sacrifice. Give me a soul, or all of you will succumb to my wrath, as did the family that lived here so long ago. They, too, conjured me up. They couldn’t give one up, so I killed them all.”

More shadows danced on the walls as the fire burned.

Jim, Billy, Jean, Irene, and Lilly begin to weep. “We’re sorry,” cried Lilly. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m so sorry; please leave us.”

“I’ll leave, but one of you must stay. I will have my sacrifice.”

Pete spoke up, “You guys leave, and I’ll stay.”

They all stared at the shy, soft-spoken teenager. “Pete,” said Lilly.

The raspy voice broke the silence, “Leave now, or I’ll kill all of you. The boy will be your sacrifice. I will have his soul.”

Everyone ran toward the door leaving Pete standing in the den. The van started, and Pete heard the vehicle heading up the drive. They all abandoned him to face the dark spirit.

“They’re gone,” said Pete.

Two boys came down the stairs with a megaphone and a voice-changing device.

“How did we do, Pete,” asked one of the boys?

“Great,” said Pete. “I think Jim and Billy peed their pants.” Pete laughed, held up his hands, and said mockingly, “I will have his soul.”

They all laughed and walked toward the backdoor; as they neared the door, it slammed shut. A low, raspy voice echoed throughout the house, “I will have my sacrifice.”

May 01, 2021 01:23

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8 comments

Larry Rhoton
22:48 Jul 07, 2021

Thank you Toni. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

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Toni Leaf-Odette
01:10 Jul 07, 2021

Wow I don't usually like this type of story but that was really great. Awesome idea!

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Larry Rhoton
13:15 May 23, 2021

Thank you, Arya. Hope it didn't frighten you toooooooooo much! LOL

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Arya ...
18:17 May 22, 2021

It was spooky and here it's 15 minutes to midnight. 😭 At first I was thinking," Damn these kids have provoked the God of Irony." And at the last the double twist was interesting.

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Larry Rhoton
19:48 May 14, 2021

Thank you Claire for the writing tip. I researched this a few years ago, and thought I was correct. I can see now, that I wasn't. I do appreciate your kind corrections to my writings. I try to keep my writings perfect, but I' m still learning. This will certainly help me with my future writings. You don't know how much I appreciate this comment. Tips or comments like this should help any writer. Now, thanks to your comment, I'm grown in my writings. Thank you~

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Claire Lindsey
14:23 May 12, 2021

Hi Larry, thanks for the follow! I enjoyed this story. The dialogue felt very natural and I liked the scene-setting you did at the house. And the end was such a cliffhanger! I like to try to leave a small critique or two when I read, which I hope you’ll take in the spirit with which it’s given! Format-wise, watch your punctuation for dialogue. When a statement needs a question mark or exclamation point, they go inside the quotation marks. Periods are the only punctuation that can follow the dialogue tag. For example: “Hi there,” she said...

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Larry Rhoton
14:22 May 11, 2021

Thank you Jennifer, I appreciate your comments. I'm glad you left a comment, I'm new to Reedsy. Thank you again for commenting.

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Jennifer Dowdell
21:28 May 08, 2021

Great story....just enough intrigue. It held my interest from the beginning to end.

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