A Drastic Change
I didn’t want to go.
I never even wished this for Christmas or on my 11th birthday.
This was never supposed to happen if we hadn’t just moved into a better community. Or so my parents said. They had no choice but to move where their boss told them to go to. At first, you might think it is a great neighborhood. Offices, businesses, companies, large buildings, parks and gardens, shopping malls, theaters, groceries, everything.
Except for a good school.
None of the schools here are good. The highest rating middle school here is a 3 out of 10. Yes, the highest, meaning there are ones even with a rating of 1. Of course, my parents weren’t going to send me there, and I didn’t want to go either.
Next came up private schools. The nearest private school is an hour from where we live. Plus, the highway traffic adds up to almost an hour and fifty minutes. The other downside of going to this private school was that I had to take 3 buses by myself, and back. Even worse, the school started at 6:30 in the morning. Meaning I’d have to wake up at 4:30 to even reach there on time. Sorry, but that is just way too out of my league. Moving to a place near the private school also wasn’t an option. First, we had just bought a house here and it has been only a week, and second, their office is far from the area where the school is. So that just meant we only had one dreaded option: boarding school.
All the cons about going to boarding school: Staying away from my parents for almost 8 months, resulting in homesickness. Feeling too distant from your parents means having a ruined childhood. Not getting to celebrate any holidays with family. Unfortunately, my birthday is also in the middle of the school year, meaning no birthday celebrations either. Soon, I would start losing the affection that I feel right now for my parents because we can’t talk face-to-face until the school year is over.
All the pros about going to boarding school: My parents could go to work and won’t take them a long time. The school rating is 9 out of 10, (much better than any of the schools in this area). It is very close to where we live, about 20 minutes. Yeah, that’s basically it.
Did you notice something though? Going to boarding school doesn’t affect me in any positive way. Only towards my parents. When I keep bringing up this topic to them, they say that this is for me, and “We only want the best for our daughter, and for your future. We want you to have a good educational career.”
I know what they are saying is correct, but I can’t help to wonder why I must go to a boarding school. My entire life, I have only stayed without my parents for 2 days, and that was because it was a school field trip in 5th grade. Even for those 2 days, I started to miss them badly. Other than that, I have never stayed alone without them, not even for a week! How can I possibly stay without even talking personally with them for 8 months!! This was going to be impossible for me, and I know my mother and father feel the same.
I have never been to a boarding school before, and I have heard that they demand respect and studious children. What if I get expelled? Then... my parents’ hopes, dreams, and high expectations from me will be crushed, just like that. They will feel devastated because of me.
I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t know what to say.
Even worse, time is passing by so much more quickly than I’d ever imagined. There is only one more day until I go to boarding school... I didn’t know what I would do. I was stressing out, as a streak for 2 months. Every night, I would think about how one day I would have to leave my parents, to go to some strange school. I was trying to mentally and physically prepare myself, but even now I find myself not ready for the change.
I tried to spend every single moment with my parents so that I wouldn’t regret anything during those 8 months. I played games with them, binge-watched 7 Netflix series with them. I read them books, and they would read to me. We all would celebrate some days for absolutely no reason. One day, we even celebrated my birthday, though my birthday wasn’t coming until 7 months later.
I promised them that I would call them every day, and video chat with them twice a week, but still, things were never going to be “all fine”. I could never hug them for 8 months, I could never kiss them, or talk to them in person. Technology wasn’t going to solve problems completely. It was just a temporary problem fixer.
Would the teachers be nice to me? Would the kids there be nice to me? I don’t know. I feel like these past few months, my life has been a million questions. Full of uncertainty. No answers. Just guesses and hunches.
Every day, without even trying to, I filled my brain with worry and tension. Anxious and nervous about how each day will play out for me. I try to pretend and reassure myself that everything will be fine, that going to boarding school was the best decision, but I couldn’t run away from the truth. I couldn’t make everything fine, because... well, nothing is fine. I need to face my fears, and not be a coward, but I don’t want to. I wish there was any other way to make everything work, but I just need to accept the fact that life isn’t fair. Sometimes, you don’t always get what you want. You need to make sacrifices for your family to have balance. All I could do was try to find the best in each possible situation, even if nothing seems to go the way I want it to go.
It was the day. Today was my big change. I took a good look at my mom and dad. Tears filled my eyes, and no matter how much I didn’t want to cry, it happened. My tears couldn’t stop this time. I needed to let out all my feelings. It was a hard time for me. I hugged both of them very tightly like I was never going to let them go. I softly kissed both on the cheek and wiped my tears. I held all my things and walked out the door. I sat in the car seat, wondering about how my life would change starting from now. I couldn’t believe it, but this was reality. The car started and I took a good look outside.
20 minutes had gone by much sooner than I expected. When the car stopped, it jerked a little. Then, I saw it. My school, or should I say a castle, looked much taller, and bigger than I ever imagined it would be. I saw a lot more kids taking their supplies and waiting outside.
Maybe things weren’t going to be so bad as I thought it would be. There are kids like me here too, and I think boarding school won’t be terrible. One thing I know for a fact though, is that my life was going to change, drastically.