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Mystery Suspense Thriller

Once there lived two friends, Rohan and Rajiv. As a birthday treat, Rohan took Rajiv on a trip to the local fair in the nearby city.

When they were coming back, they saw an abandoned car on a strangely isolated road. They peeked inside it and saw a sleeping dog. It was dark, jet black and had a lot of fur on it. It looked as if it was enjoying in the car and wasn't othered about what was happening outside.

Suddenly the road light started flickering. Dusk had fallen and the friends were in a hurry to get home. They heard a loud bang coming from somewhere near them. Terrified, the boys started looking here and there and found a telephone booth nearby.


Rohan quickly ran up to the booth, dialed 100 and called the police.

He said, “My friend and I are at the outskirts of the city and near an abandoned car on some weird road. It is full of portholes and the only landmark nearby is the telephone booth I am calling from. We have just heard a loud bang and we sense some trouble. Please come as fast as you can.”

The boys waited for some time while sitting on the footpath. Then they heard a police siren. The police came and saw the car. They started to investigate and found out that the car belonged to an old woman living nearby. They however, had no information on the dog, or the bang.

Just as they were about to leave for their homes, the boys saw a strange shadow coming from a distance.

The police took charge and inquired the person. They got to know that the shadow was of the very woman whose car was parked there. The boys and the police became awestruck when the lady said tat the car was magical and could change itself into any other car. Rajiv asked her, “But ma’am how did the police identify that it was your car?”

The lady said the the car’s number plate would remain the same irrespective of its shape. She also told them that the car was her son’s who lived in another city because of his work.

Rohan asked about the dog. The lady said, “That’s my son’s dog. He has left it with me for a few days.”

She told the boys and the police to leave as it was about to rain.

Before leaving, she made all the officers and the boys promise that they won’t tell anyone about the car and its magic. The officers were a little skeptical about the ‘magical’ abilities of the car, but just to humour the lady, they promised too.

The boys reached their home safely that night and kept their promise given to the old woman.

The next day, Rohan and Rajiv were hanging out at a common friend’s home when the news readers words caught their attention, “A corpse of a man is found in the outskirts of the city on the by-pass. This is supposedly a murder of a man. Possible suspects include two teenage boys travelling yesterday. The dog of the victim is also missing. Any reports of the events are appreciated by the police. Please stay safe.”

The boys could do nothing but look at each other in surprise and tension.


December 27, 2021 14:26

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3 comments

Huh. I feel like this was rushed and well it lacked detail. Slow down. Imagine yourself there. What color was the car? What was the landscape like? What might the boys have been talking about as they came to the car? These are just suggestions, it is still your story no matter what, but think of it like adding flavor to a soup or dish. Found 2 errors: “It looked as if it was enjoying in the car and wasn't othered about what was happening outside.“ —> ‘othered’ should be ‘bothered’. “The boys and the police became awestruck when the lady ...

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Dhwani Jain
04:02 Jan 02, 2022

Again, it was written long ago.... So the concept was rushed. Thanks for the edits...I'll get to them as soon as I get my laptop

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Gotcha. No rush :)

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