The Fall Through

No passerby bothered to look up at the terrace of the giant yellow building. 

They certainly don't know what it is that is going through my mind as I push myself off the side of the terrace. 

The first gusts of wind hit my face and the force of the air makes my eyes water. 

I am falling and the ground is looming close. Only few metres are left. Five, four, three, two.... 

I sat up on my bed to find myself surrounded by darkness, only a dim white light entered my bedroom through the glass window, probably coming from a distant house of an insomniac. It's been years since I dreamt about that dream. But everytime it occurs it appears to be real. Anyways, I have got a lot on my plate to worry about so I turn around and slump back on my bed. 

The next day was a blur between roaming in shops to buy some formals for my new office and walking back home exhausted. 

I was up at five o'clock in the morning on my first day of office, I debated everything from the dress I wore to the food I ate after all first impressions are supposed to last forever. 

I was out on the streets at 9 o'clock sharp. I located and hailed a cab at three minutes past nine and gave the address of the office building to the driver. I arrived in front of the building at 9:48. With 12 minutes to spare I looked up at the giant yellow old structure which was about to be my second home. I gasped, it was no different from the one in my dreams. The brain is an unfathomable old thing, I conclude. 

I walked into Mr. Smith, the chairman's office to find him sitting behind pile of multicolored files. He smiled as I entered. 

"So Miss Kyle, it's your first day here, how do you feel? " he asked. 

"I feel great. Until now, I have only dreamt about being here, " I smiled internally at the double meaning of the statement. 

"That's great, Kelly will show you your desk. Best of luck, " he said. 

As I walked through the busy corridors and big rooms crowded with lines of desks and computers, I felt myself drowning in grim reality. The piles of multicolored files on my table made my unfounded fantasies evaporate like morning mist on arrival of the sun. 

—————————————

 I am walking towards the edge. 

The city looks beautiful from here. 

I throw myself off the edge. I am falling. 

No, it must be the dream again. 

A few moments to go... 

I sat up on my bed again, my breathing was slightly irregular. What surprised me was the recurrence of that dream. But I didn't have time to worry about a meaningless nightmare, and you never have time if working in the giant yellow building with its piles of multicolored files. 

A month was over and still I had my lunch alone. Jake came over and took the seat opposite to me. "So, how was your first month?" he asked. 

"Good, " I replied. 

"Well not everyone's went well, you are clearly good at what you do and hence the infamous five squad are almost surely looking forward to sabotage you, " he said glancing sideways towards a table occupied by five. 

"What?" I said half laughing. 

"Yes, you see them there Rick, Vera, David, John and Seah, we call them the infamous five, they are like the leaders of our department. And their work is to sabotage any prosperous newcomer. Don't worry they at first will make your life a bit of hell and then move on once they realise you really don't care about what they do, " he said. 

I nodded and mumbled a " Thank you " and sighed internally. 

About a week later I was called by Mr. Smith, the chairman. I knocked at his door. I heard a faint "Come in, " and stepped inside. The same big piles the same cluttered table. He started. 

"Your first month's work was satisfactory Miss Smith but for the past few days you are simply ignoring the red files marked important laid down on your desk. May I ask why, " he enquired seriously. 

Red files marked important! "But for the past few days I received no red files marked important, " I retorted. That's precisely when the phone on his desk rang. "Anyways, be careful in the future," he added in a hurried brusque tone indicating I should leave. 

It must have been a few days later that Vera approached me after I had finished the day's work and requested me to see to her remaining pile of files and prepare the excel sheets for the expenses of the weekly conference as she had to leave urgently due to an emergency. I hesitated. She added "You see, the chairman himself insists us on team work, " and shot an encouraging smile towards me. I didn't need another call from Mr. Smith's office, so I sat down back again. My back, neck and shoulders complained but you can't really listen to them when working in the giant yellow building. 

The chairman's call did come some weeks later and this time he asked me to take a seat. 

"Miss Kyle, almost half of your colleagues in the Finance Department are complaining about your misbehaviour in the office premises... "

"But those allegations are false—" I bursted. 

"Unfortunately I don't have many other options than to suspend you for a few days and take disciplinary action against you if you fail to give a satisfactory reply to the show cause letter delivered to you, I am sorry," he finished. 

I left the room. The office was a mere blur. I slumped back in my chair, buried my face in my hands. Jake was right 'a bit of hell'. 

I was exhausted. 

—————————————

I was walking towards the edge. 

The city a beautiful blur beneath me. The wind stroke my face. I throw myself of the edge. I am falling. 

It must be the dream again. It can just be a few moments before I get up. 

But surprisingly I don't get up this time.