A Lone Sign

Submitted into Contest #103 in response to: Write about a character looking for a sign.... view prompt

6 comments

Fantasy Suspense

“I’m a bit worried Noel.”

“What do you mean Scarlet?” Noel replied.

“The humans, they are growing more powerful, they may discover us soon.” Scarlet said with worry in her eyes.

“What do you mean by powerful?” Noel questioned as she twisted to face her friend.

“Their creations amid the waves. They can travel farther. Fight the fiercest storms. I heard the Southern kingdom was attacked not long ago.”

“The humans attacked the Southern Kingdom?” She turned away as she contemplated the possibility of such action. “How have you heard of this?”

“Queen Aqua received word of it this morning, I overheard them in the royal chamber.”

Noel turned and began to swim in circles, Scarlet let her, she knew whenever Noel swam like that it meant she was thinking hard.

Sitting back down upon the corral seat Noel twisted to face Scarlet in the eye.

“Did they say how it was attacked?”

“I don’t know,” Scarlet spoke, “I left before I could be spotted, it was too risky for me to be there anyway. The Queen has enough on her mind without worrying about being overheard by a simple servant.”

“I need to go see her,” Noel spoke before getting up and swimming towards the door.

“Please be careful,” Scarlet warned. Noel gave her a sideways glance from within the stands of her silver hair before nodding silently.

The palace was quiet. There was usually more commotion. An event that had to be planned. A meeting that needed to be attended. Jewels to be found for Neptune. Yet that was not the case today. Today the palace seemed devoid of life. As if the sea had dried up and everything had shriveled away.

Something didn’t seem right. “The humans have never seen us before, why would they attack us? How did they discover us in the first place?” These questions racked Noel’s mind as she continued to swim through the halls. Upon reaching the royal chamber Noel was met by two guards. Their strong muscles unwavering in the water’s cold embrace.

Noel stopped before them. They both glanced at her.

“I wish to speak with the queen,” Noel spoke quietly.

“She is not to be disturbed,” the left guard asked in a deep voice, “troubling news reached her this morning and she wishes to handle it privately.”

Before Noel could reply, the doors to the chamber opened and someone exited the room. Nearly bumping into Noel.

“Oh, princess, I’m sorry,” the mermaid quickly spoke.

“Noel?” Someone spoke from within the chamber.

“Yes, it is me,” Noel replied.

The doors opened wider a second later and Queen Aqua swam to the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in a soft voice.

“I wanted to speak with you, but the guards wouldn’t let me pass.”

The queen took a hard glance towards the guards at her side, “If this happens again, you will find yourselves surrounded by starved hammerhead sharks. My daughter is never to be denied the right to see me, do you understand me?”

Without hesitation the guards quickly removed their tridents from the entrance and replied in unison, “Yes your grace.”

The queen held out her hand to Noel who took it and swam into the chamber with her mother.

A wide chamber full of corral carved to a smooth finish, windows of hardened material stood within the strong stone marble allowing light to shine through the blue water. A coral throne stood tall at the end of the hallway. Several servants swam through the area, clearing the place of falling sea salt.

“Out all of you, I wish to speak with my daughter alone,” Queen Aqua spoke loudly. The servants dashed away without question.

The queen took a seat beside the throne while she allowed Noel to sit in her place.

“What was it you wanted to talk about?” the queen spoke in her natural calm manner.

“I overheard something,” Noel explained, she decided she would leave Scarlet out of her story so as to not place blame on her, “is it true the Southern kingdom was attacked by the humans?”

“Where did you hear this?” Queen Aqua spoke in a worried tone.

“I was near the chambers this morning, and I overheard some words.”

The queen sighed softly; Noel noticed the worry beginning to form in her eyes.

“Yes, we were attacked,” she replied not breaking her daughter’s gaze. “It seems the humans have created some sort of weapon that can attack under water. Apparently, it can cause great damage and one of our kingdoms was attacked.”

“But, the humans, they have never discovered us before, how did they find us?”

“We don’t know, all we do know is that Neptune has taken this attack very seriously.”

“Do you know what he plans to do?”

“No, but I’m sure he will act quickly.”

“Do you think the humans will come for us?”

Noel could feel the same worry as her mother beginning to show in her face too. Her mother held her close before answering.

“They won’t come for us”

“But what if they do?”

“Then I will do everything I can to protect you,” Her tone had become fierce as she spoke those words. Like the words of a shark protecting its offspring.

Noel faced her mother’s determination, it was strong, but she remained worried. “I’m scared.”

“I know you are, but we need to stay strong. For our people.” Her mother smiled calmly as she tried to instill courage into her daughter’s worried expression.

The doors to the chamber burst open before either the queen or her daughter could react.

“Your majesty, the humans, they’ve been spotted!” One of the guards spoke rapidly.

“What, where?” The queen replied as she rose.

“Outside our-“

The guard never got the word out as the room became enveloped in flames. An eruption shook the walls of the castle. The chamber collapsed on itself as stone fell to the ground. Noel glanced up as the ceiling came crashing down. Her eyes grew wide.

Someone pushed her away just before the stone crashed to the ground. Hitting the floor Noel quickly spun around. She saw a hand amid the rubble. Quickly swimming over to it, Noel tried to lift the stone, but it was too heavy.

“Noel!” Someone called.

Turning she saw Scarlet swimming into the chamber, her face as red as her tail.

“Scarlet, help me,” Noel cried.

Scarlet quickly swam forward and gripped the rubble with Noel. Together they tossed the stone aside. Noel gasped.

On the ground lay her mother, her silver hair stained with red blood.

“No. No. No.”

“Noel, we have to go,” Scarlet begged her. “They’re coming!”

Noel cried as she was dragged away from her mother, Scarlet hooked her arm within her own and was carrying her away. Glancing to the side Noel saw a giant creation amid the water. Metal fused together; a large spike stuck out from the top. It looked like a giant electric eel, except much more deadly.

“Scarlet look out!” Noel cried as the creation turned towards them.

Something was shot from the beast towards them, it exploded a few feet from them, being replaced by a net which spiraled effortlessly through the water.

Noel was quickly pushed away as the net collided with Scarlet’s body. Trapping her and dragging her down, unable to swim away.

“Scarlet!” Noel twisted and swam after her as she landed among the castle rubble.

“Run! Go now!”

“You’re my friend, I’m not leaving you.”

“They can’t get you, you have to live, for everyone’s sake.”

“I’m not-“

“This is not up for debate.”

Turning back the two of them saw smaller fish emerge from the giant creation. They began moving towards them at a high speed.

“Noel, listen to me, I’ll be fine, you have to go. Swim as fast as you can and don’t look back.”

Noel hesitated, but she quickly swallowed her worry, kicking off from the stone surface she sped off. Looking back, she saw humans quickly approaching. One of them fired another net towards her, she spun, barely evading it’s grasp, before turning her head forward, with tears in her eyes, and began swimming will all her might.

How long had she traveled? Days? Weeks? A month? She did not know. All she knew now was she was tired. Continuing to swim forward, glancing back now and again, otherwise continuing forth. Her tail was beginning to ach. Surfacing for fresh air she spotted a shallow piece of rock and headed for it.

With little strength she hoisted herself upon the rocky surface. Her tail flapping horribly behind her. Night had fallen, it was dark, the light of the moon was covered by clouds.

Noel twisted and looked around her. Sea everywhere. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to run to. She slumped back against the rocks; they were smooth, very smooth. Her eyes heavy with fatigue. She tried to keep them skyward, as if searching for a sign. A reason. Anything to answer the question as to why the humans attacked them. She had been searching ever since yet found nothing amid the sea.

She lay upon the rocks.

The water’s cold embraced her. Made her feel more lost than ever.

She heard the waves parting in the distance. Looking up she saw something. A creation of humans was crashing violently against the swell. Noel was too tired and far to weak to move. So she tried to stay low, with any luck the moon would stay hidden and hide her from view.

She stared into the shadow of the passing vessel as it passed her by. The moon came out from behind the clouds, bathing her in its soft glow. She saw one lone human turn her way. Glancing over the edge of the metal creation. Soon her soft gentle eyes met the cold hard stare of his own.

Placing an arm across her breast, she twisted to calm her anxiety. Her teal-blue tail slowly rising from the waters edge. She watched him carefully in the moonlight.

Did he truly see her?

As the vessel sailed away Noel stared off into the distance. Wondering to herself why the human refused to speak.

If she had seen him, then he must have seen her. Yet, from what she could see, he did not alert anyone else to her presence.

As she lay upon the rocks, she gazed into the distance.

Wondering; why he had remained silent, and yet, ever so observant.

July 24, 2021 03:56

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6 comments

Alex Sultan
18:35 Jul 27, 2021

I think this story is cool, I like the world you've built and the names you've chosen for your characters. For feedback, I'd say try and avoid passive voice. It takes away from the imagery and flow of the story. The line, 'An event that had to be planned. A meeting that needed to be attended. ' could be much more vivid if you used an active voice, or reworked the sentences entirely. 'An event that had to be planned' could be written like 'Wards and clerks should have been scrambling to plan events.' 'A meeting that needed to be attended'...

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Michael McGee
23:15 Jul 27, 2021

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I was tight for time as I got the idea to expand upon this story while I was at work; afterwards there was not much time for proof-reading. I will defiantly take what you said into consideration for either my next story or a continuation of this one.

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14:47 Jul 25, 2021

Wow! This is a delightful and intriguing tale. I want more.

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Michael McGee
14:08 Jul 28, 2021

I’m trying to focus on a larger project at the moment. So, no promises too an expansion of this at this time.

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Cliff McElrea
06:12 Jul 24, 2021

Ok, you got me hooked. I hope you will have another chapter to answer the questions your story created! Good, descriptive writing Michael.

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Michael McGee
19:02 Jul 27, 2021

I’ll see what I can do; however I have another, longer, story I’m trying to work primarily on at the moment. So, no promises at this moment.

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