66 comments

Sad Teens & Young Adult

Special thank-you to my own computers teacher who is the kindest teacher I have ever known.

***

For everything that I know, there is so much that I don’t.

While I know how to keep a child engaged while learning even the most boring of coding languages, I don’t know how to explain the bruises. While I know how to make an amazing task bar with flashing rainbows and unicorns using CSS, I can’t explain the sudden weakness or how it suddenly hurts to breathe.

I wish I could tell them. About this.

***

“We’re sorry. We could have saved you if you had come six months ago. The cancer has progressed too much to be removed without hurting your body. It isn’t even normal cancer and I don’t blame you for not realizing it sooner. You have chronic lymphocytic leukemia, which develops very very slowly. You had a quarter chance of getting it.”

“H-How much time do I have left?”

“A year, give or take.”

“Will I have to do chemotherapy?”

“It would do more harm to your body, seeing as you are older than most cancer patients.”

“Doctor, thank you… I’ll be leaving now.”

***

One year. That’s all I have left.

No, I shouldn’t think like that. I need to make the most of my time, and teach this new batch of children the best I can.

Speaking of which, they are already being difficult. First I had to deal with the bubblegum kid, then someone hit their keyboard too hard, and by the time we actually started learning about JavaScript, we had already lost 20 minutes of class time. 

What makes it worse is that the school wanted me to leave and rest and I insisted to stay, so they lessened my work load and made me teach just one class. Which would be this class.

I told them to leave the first page of their notebook open.

I wish I could yell at them for being naughty, but I don't have the heart. This will be the last class I will ever teach.

***

My doctor is insisting I get a cane. In true family tradition, I only agreed if the cane is shaped like a flamingo.

(It took him 4 days and more than 200 Amazon searches to find a flamingo cane that I liked. I made him pay for it too, claiming that I would tell God in heaven that he did something good for me. It works every time.)

***

Like I imagined, my children were highly fascinated by my flamingo cane. I quote, “He’s ACTUALLY kind of cool!”

We’re making fast headway in JavaScript. They’ve just learned prompt boxes and alert boxes and I am very proud.

I keep on meaning to tell them that, but I don’t.

It feels too much like a goodbye, so I avoid it. 

***

My children are so much better behaved now. Every time they do something bad I just swing my cane a bit and they quiet down and submit very submissively. 

My bones hurt and I’m starting to think that this must be how the Tin Woodman felt before Dorothy oiled his joints.

I suspect something is afoot, however, that they are either giggling whenever they see me in the hallways or look straight ahead as though they are afraid to give something away. I’ve never dealt with anything like this in my forty years of teaching.

But I like their laughter, so I give them less homework than usual today.

***

It’s my birthday week! And today I coughed up blood.

Well, what a sad way to start the last birthday week of my life.

I bet the children are anxious, the mid-year parent teacher meeting is nearly here.

I feel young again, giddily waiting for cake and presents.

***

“So how has my child been so far?”

“They are a wonderful student. I’m very happy to have them in my class.”

That’s what every parent asked, and that’s what I answered to every parent.

The parents told me all sorts of things too.

Apparently I was a favorite teacher and all the kids loved me?

How strange.

***

THESE CHILDREN THREW ME A BIRTHDAY PARTY. ALL BY THEMSELVES.

I legitimately started crying. In all my years of teaching, no class had gone out of their way to do something special for MY birthday.

They deserve to know the truth.

**

We’ve finally reached the last three months.

We’ve also reached while loops and for loops and Boolean values.

I made up a theory and shared it with my class.

Everything is actually black or white. You’ll either do your homework or you won’t. (I will die, or I won’t.). Someone could win the election. Or they couldn’t. 

Based on this theory, I taught them how to randomize Boolean values to create a sort of coin flip code. They had a lot of fun with it.

***

I have four weeks to live. Today would be the day I told them about it.

I walked up and down, willing myself to say it. My children were quiet already. I guess they knew me so well that they knew I was tense.

“Children… I have chronic lymphocytic leukemia.”

No reaction yet. Don’t think they know what that means.

“It’s a type of cancer that… is very deadly to, um, people of my age.”

Stunned silence. This is going worse that I thought.

Anna bursts into tears. Other kids begin to tear up too.

“No, no, it’s ok… I still have a few weeks. And I want to spend it with you guys.”

The only boy who wasn’t tearing up had his hand up in the air. His name was Alex.

“Yeah, Alex?”

“W-why would you want to spend it with us?”

“Because I love you guys and you guys are like my children. Speaking of that, remember how I told you to leave a page in your notebooks? I’ll need those now, please pass up your notebooks to the front.”

My kids were still mostly crying but they listened to me and passed up their notebooks. 

That day, they all gave me a hug when leaving, as though afraid that I would die over the weekend and they wouldn’t see me again.

***

I spent the weekend writing a note to each and every child on the first page of their notebook. Although each was personalized, I ended each with,

“The only thing I regret is that I only got to spend a year with you. I am very, very proud of how far you’ve come, and I’ll be watching you all the way. I love you all.”

I was still alive by the end of the weekend and I gave them their notebooks back and they all became teary-eyed again. We spent my last class playing video games.

***

I took them all to the beach, and ice cream, and to the dog park to play with dogs and to the animal shelter for cats and dogs and birds and then it was the last week and I felt very weak so I stayed home and rewatched old romance Hallmark movies.

(The nostalgia is real.)

Luckily, it came like sleep and it was actually kind of cool how fast it went by.

—-^/\—-^/\-—^/\———————————————————————

January 10, 2021 06:49

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66 comments

Dorian Gray 📖
00:09 Mar 04, 2021

I think your philosophy is Absurdism if you think we should all have fun lol... I'm a big philosophy geek...

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06:17 Mar 04, 2021

I also think that they universe is going to explode and we're all going to die painful deaths, so the closest thing I could think of that summarizes both is optimistic nihilism haha But really, if life has no purpose, so we get to choose what it's purpose is :) If that's true, then we all should be doing what we love.

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Dorian Gray 📖
12:47 Mar 04, 2021

Ok, that is Absurdism... because Nihilism believes that nothing you do can give the world meaning because nothing has meaning and everything is meaningLESS. Sartrian Existentialism, what I subscribe to, is the thought that nothing in the world was created with an inherent meaniing, but that we give it meaning in our own way, that no one else can give us answers because they're all subjective answers and to take their advice on how to live your life would be inauthentic and bad faith, that we're abundantly and frighteningly free... etc.etc.etc.

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13:52 Mar 04, 2021

Oh- Ok-

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Dorian Gray 📖
13:53 Mar 04, 2021

Lollllllllllll I’m a weirdo

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05:56 Mar 05, 2021

READ NEW STORY AND GIVE ME CRITICS PLS

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Sapphire ~♚
17:14 Mar 03, 2021

LOVE your playlist

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17:19 Mar 03, 2021

YES

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✰ Jennie ✰
15:01 Jan 12, 2021

HI I SAW YOUR NEW YOUTUBE VID AND I LIKED IT

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04:07 Jan 13, 2021

thank you! but could you please give me comments on the story...? even tho im not even online that much on reedsy bcs school everyone here has been v quiet and like is something up?

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Sapphire ~♚
20:37 Mar 03, 2021

Character form! https://forms.gle/BJfQyEt8sTFGeLTP8

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11:11 Mar 03, 2021

Here lies math exam.... THAT IS ME.

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ARE YOU OKIE????????????????????????????????????????????

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03:31 Mar 03, 2021

noooo exams be stab stab- i have an exam in an hour- and i dont think im ready- im tryna distract myself-

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IM SORRYYY PLS TALK TO ME THOOO I THOUGHT I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAINNNNNNNNNNN I HAVE TWO MATH TESTS IN 3 HOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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03:36 Mar 03, 2021

GOMEN ONEECHAN- I JUST BEEN VERY BUSY LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE REVISING RN QWQ

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IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ;w;

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12:40 Mar 19, 2021

wahwahwah TAKE THAT EXAMS MUHUHUHUAHAHHXABCUWCVGVQRVGSDCQR

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Ana Govindasamy
14:22 Feb 04, 2021

Woah, you're a good writer! And yeah, I almost cried. This is great! In the beginning it was a bit confusing with the family/pupil/biological kids parts, where I couldn't really tell what was happening, but other than that, this was great!

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18:03 Feb 04, 2021

The quality of this story wasn’t that great because I wrote it as a vent from pressure irl :D Thank you! If I ever write another story like this, I’ll clarify more!

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Ana Govindasamy
18:38 Feb 04, 2021

oh noooooo! I hope you're ok now, all the hugs for you!

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05:47 Feb 05, 2021

Yea I’m fine!! Thank you for hugs 😄☺️

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Ana Govindasamy
07:39 Feb 05, 2021

💜

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20:15 Jan 25, 2021

hi sis do you hate me? you havent been talking to me im sorry D: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

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03:48 Jan 26, 2021

Nope I don’t hate you!!! You are still my sis!! Sorry just been real busy also I’m doing a collab with isaac guy too No no it’s my fault :( Let’s talk more! Also what other fandoms are you interested in apart from demon slayer? Wanna see how many more similarities we have I like drawing, and THE RISING OF THE SHIELD HERO (raphtalia is gods my favorite I love her so much) and drawing, and more anime, and Pokémon and drawing and fashion designing haha

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04:19 Jan 26, 2021

YES WE ARE STILL SIS awwww yesh lets talk morrrrr hmmmmmm: Doodling XDDD, going to watch that, ANIME, POKEMON YESH AND WRITING AND DEMONSLAYER AND- XDDD YOUR ALIVE YES Awwww, that’s sad..... Maybe we could talk about it here, then you can write once I get your inspiration going..... Me tip for demonslayer (SORRY SORRY SORRRY D:) So maybe do one again in hana’s POV, and make Tanjikku obvious..... Then introduce Akane, who’s best friend used to be hono, until he got turned into a demon.... And Lucia, who’s family just got killed and just came ...

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04:37 Jan 26, 2021

🤔 🧐

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16:13 Jan 26, 2021

whaddaya think XDDD

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17:44 Jan 22, 2021

Hi sis! you prob wont see dis but this is Cel's second account!! D: First, I MISSS YOU Second, WHen is the fourth part? (Still u prob wont see this) Third, ComE BACCCCCCC Fourth, after you get the 4th on out, I plan to have Majikku and Tanjiro (Tanjikku) have an encouter with doma. Maybe have a not very important character gets killed. Fifth, WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK PLS THE COMMUIY NEEEEEEDS YOU AAND I DO TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sixth, DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

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06:08 Jan 23, 2021

Hey sis! Sorry but don’t think I’m gonna make it :( The week passed by so now the prompts for the half a story I wrote is completely wrong. My inspiration is gone too, sorry :( I started the story with Akane meeting Lucia and at the beginning they don’t like each other but learn to trust each other as they fight their way to Hana, Tanjiro, and Majikku as backup since the Demon Slayers Corp peeps heard we were in trouble. I’m sorry 😢

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01:05 Jan 24, 2021

YOUR ALIVE YES Awwww, that’s sad..... Maybe we could talk about it here, then you can write once I get your inspiration going..... So maybe do one again in hana’s POV, and make Tanjikku obvious..... Then introduce Akane, who’s best friend used to be hono, until he got turned into a demon.... And Lucia, who’s family just got killed and just came to the butterfly mainson, made her own breathing, and became friends with us! Also, ranem villa arc XD Sorry if this is a lot, but I miss youuuuuu🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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16:11 Jan 25, 2021

YOUR ALIVE YES Awwww, that’s sad..... Maybe we could talk about it here, then you can write once I get your inspiration going..... So maybe do one again in hana’s POV, and make Tanjikku obvious..... Then introduce Akane, who’s best friend used to be hono, until he got turned into a demon.... And Lucia, who’s family just got killed and just came to the butterfly mainson, made her own breathing, and became friends with us! Also, ranem villa arc XD Sorry if this is a lot, but I miss youuuuuu🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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Coco Longstaff
22:37 Jan 16, 2021

Hey Priya Dont worry dont freak I hate my whole family My mom is annoying My brother wont do his homework when I’m told to help him with it My dad is just simply always nosy and annoying Why you have to make them proud? Why are they so mad? Maybe its because they want to spend more time with you I would say ignore them for a bit and then make them feel, and then work it out later. Any parent who tells you to go to hell should already be in hell But I know that’s not you so try to make contact with them dont be desperate and work it out hop...

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04:04 Jan 17, 2021

I’m not sure why I need to make them proud... my cousins are all insanely talented, all of them, and at family gatherings I’m always the black sheep because while they’re like, got a special message from the Vice President of the usa about how they did like *insane thing* and all I did was get a gold for a test barely. My mom apologized for telling me to go to hell so that’s all good now, mostly. I don’t know why I need their approval so badly but I do... I always feel so useless and guilty for feeling unhappy because I have so many things t...

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Coco Longstaff
04:20 Jan 17, 2021

Oh wow your cousins are wow I understand its ok like sometimes I’m blamed for my brothers actions and i feel like I’m a big screwup. Ya, there’s 2 ways of being 2 faced. I’m 2 faced like i have a life at home, and another at school. Oh I didnt know she actually told u to go to hell that’s pretty extreme. I wonder....what kind of things make them super proud? Aww of course, and good luck with your exams

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06:49 Jan 17, 2021

Yeah she actually said that but I still forgive her because she’s my mom and ik she probably didn’t mean it.. and no kidding one of my cousins actually got a letter from the Vice President of Ohio or someone important of usa for like doing more than 20 credits or something not sure

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Coco Longstaff
06:59 Jan 17, 2021

Omg wow I hope you and your mom are gonna get better It’s hard not to be jealous of ur cousins right? Mmm maybe do extra chores? I think that helps the most

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07:38 Jan 17, 2021

Coco help my friend said she wanted to drown herself and I told her not to and like reasons why she shouldn’t kill herself and that I definitely don’t know what she’s going through but she shouldn’t and she said that I was a bad friend and now I don’t know if I did the right thing or not she was my first friend in a new school and dunno about online but I’m not that good at talking to people and like did I do something wrong?

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Coco Longstaff
09:19 Jan 13, 2021

Omg wow how sad that she dies.....This was actually a really cool take on the prompt, really unique. I love the content of the story and the dialogue is really good. Great job!

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09:35 Jan 13, 2021

thaaaaaaaaaaaaaank yooooou!!! The teacher is actually genderneutral, I'm trying to get rid of the stigma that teachers are mostly female. I wanted readers to focus on the story and not their gender so I tried to make them as gender neutral as possible. Thank yow!! Also my username on among us is Cocoa but its pretty common so looking for more unique usernames

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Coco Longstaff
10:27 Jan 13, 2021

Haha! No problem. And yup,m I think that’s also a good idea. My teacher right now is also male, so were my teachers last year and the year before. They’re all so nice and great, and my favorite teacher is my 3rd grade male teacher, and I still hug him sometimes! Like today! (Lol.) Ok, ill keep dat in minddd

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Sis, when you bring next story? Of demonslayer ? I miss you so much D:

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08:06 Jan 12, 2021

Sryy parents just revoked access to writing and basically everything during class idk how they forgot about reedsy

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04:07 Jan 13, 2021

I AM WRITING DEMON SLAYER STORY DW!! :DDD

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Moth breathing: Mothsplosion: Moths surround the enemy and the attacker is invisible for a second, then the pray is cut and shattered. Moth flutter: The moths pick the prey up and lets the attacker attack however they want to. Silver sliver: Let’s the attacker cut many slivers of the prey And for fire breathing: (You know...! Have you read all the manga?)

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Also, my bro is fire breathing too! But the name...... Blaze?

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08:07 Jan 12, 2021

Sryy parents just revoked access to writing and basically everything during class idk how they forgot about reedsy

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✰ Jennie ✰
00:44 Jan 19, 2021

hi frien. tis jennie here. I AM NOW CHERRY.

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05:02 Jan 19, 2021

wow haha

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SIS ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME NOW

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04:05 Jan 17, 2021

Yea... I’m ok now!! Coco asked too so the explanation for the sudden vent is over there... thank you ❤️

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I missed you so much! DONt EVER DO THaT AGAIN SIS ❤️🧡🧡💛💛💚💚💙💙💙💜💜🖤🤍🤎❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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03:48 Jan 18, 2021

Ok!! Also sorry for making demon slayer late, I had to rewatch some episodes to make sure I was going in the right direction, it’ll prob be out this week!

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Hey can I have a morning star as a weapon?

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