The Worthy Answer

I am waiting.I have waited for long now. Yes, I am frustrated and irritated.You have always avoided my question. You have always paused the discussion and jumped to a different story. I don't want this to happen now. I am tired ,tired of waiting now.

My husband and I were married 5 years ago. It was an arranged marriage and yet a very different one. It was love at first sight when we met each other. Since then it has been that he had laughed at my jokes when I didn't ,cried on my sorrows when I didn't ,Slept on my behalf when I felt sleepy and I didn't ,Prayed for me when I wanted something when I didn't. I said to everybody that he loves me more than I did myself and him. His love was enough for us , never-lasting always increasing.

We settled in our beautiful kingdom. A nice and lavish house with the best garden around and an area left for me to practise my hobby of gardening. He had constructed the kingdom for me .But is this gonna last always...Is this gonna stay? Forever as it seems or Never as we already know.

You know I have felt and believed that my marriage would also be like my parent’s marriage. Broken always. They also had an arranged marriage like ours except the ‘Love’ we had was missing there.It was an obligation in the earlier society to get married ,have kids and then setup a home in which what they called lived a ‘family’.

The true meaning of family however I started knowing now. The few characteristics were Love ,Respect and Care.

The day I entered into our house the word ‘Family’ came into acquaintance.

Things started changing from the last year when I fell sick and need to be operated for a cyst which had formed. Later the same year he fell ill with fever and since then I have never seen the same spark which he had earlier.

I started feeling that maybe the same world I have lived in, which had suddenly become invisible has now returned back to life.

He started staying at home more and started reading alot of books.He started going to therapy sessions. This seemed so weird that sudden this man who was so much like a free bird has caged him with this health study. Why?

He started meditating and involving me with him. I was shocked by this sudden turn of events. I tried to calm myself but really could not. Then I asked him one day," Honey, what is it that is bothering you so much"?. To this is replied, "Honey it's just the work stress. You know how it works .There is a load of work . I want to spend all my time with you. You know life is so unpredictable. I wish...."

I became tensed .The words have not come out. They are all hidden and I must say hiding at a place barricaded by the thoughts of reality of matter. I urged him to finish and he urged to leave the same .He deviated saying, " Its just the impact of the latest book reads. You know how books have an impact on the reader." Really? You know I didn’t get how health books can be stressful as well. But I was with him. I wanted him to confess rather than me troubling him by asking on the same .

3 months passed by .The words came out like a tortoise's neck only little and went back in too swiftly as if there was an attacker around. Ofcourse i now knew the attacker was me .

He started getting gloomy and our visits to the doctor increased .

The body checkups never ended and the tiredness grew.One day I asked him ,”What is up with the visits”? He replied, ”Honey ,Its could to be aware of your health. He told him he had enrolled to the health benefits plan and hence this was a part of the same.” and he went away .

 The gardening stopped ,the atmosphere turned negative .but one thing never changed .he always was there beside me .Helping me, Spending time with me and loving me. I had always feared that he is sick ,really sick .I visited the doctors secretly and requested for his reports but the request was turned down.

However, they didn't inform him about my visits. I was determined to know the truth and this time I had to know the truth .This was not about me ,This was about him.

I couldn’t sleep at night and gazed at his innocent face the entire night, crying for him.

One day when I woke up ,I saw him gazing at me crying and his tears rolling and falling upon my face .He ,on noticing that I am awake turned his face and ran from there. I ran behind him to know the truth but I felt weak and fell down on the floor.

I woke up in the hospital bed ,he sitting near me ,gazing at me and crying beside me .I could hardly breath but then I asked him,"Honey ,Please tell me what is going on.I need to know .It is important for me to be a part of your sorrow .We have vowed for the same."

He said,"Honey, You had vowed to be with me all your life but you are ditching and going away from me ."Then I had realized all the reality .The incidents came like a flashback .All the things was for me .

I heard him and left him. Yes indeed his answer was worth the wait ...He knew that had I known the same i would have lost my strength to live for the answer. He always said that if he loses me he will lose himself too. I didn't notice about my health and my worry for him was the drive of my life. I didn't notice that actually my time frame had reduced and all i cared was for the love of my life. My first and last love and this lies at rest with me in peace forever...