Golden Eye

Submitted into Contest #60 in response to: Write a post-apocalyptic thriller.... view prompt


Drama Fantasy Thriller

Golden Eye

Suzanne Marsh

He stood erect, his attire was a bluish green type toga. The thing that drew the attention of the few other survivors of the nuclear holocaust, this visitor had one Golden eye that reminded me of a picture of Cyclops I had seen. He quietly strode down the ramp of his ship. It reminded most of us of the Russian Turpolev PAK-DA Stealth Bombers, than had flown over us the day; all of the Unites States was obliterated. We were the few, who had survival skills. We were prepared, we had nuclear shelters. Now we were facing a major problem, we were running out of food and water supplies. The question upper most in our minds was he here for our deliverance or our final execution. His voice was computer generated:

“I come in peace, we are prepared to aid the remaining survivors. We watched in horror as

the nuclear devices plummeted your earth. We are prepared to take you aboard our ship

in three days time. Balaja is three billion, miles away. My names is Hajim. When we leave

we will destroy what is left of planet earth. Our justification for this is very simple, it will

slow the nuclear particles and avoid Balaja.” I will expect all humans who have survived

to be here in three days time.”

He turned and reentered his ship. There were ten of us all total, we needed to discuss this situation over. Do we go or do we stay. We entered the largest of the nuclear shelters. We accessed the situation. The most important question was how did one alien expect to transport ten human beings? Was he going to explain it to us, we were in a horrible quandary. We all remember the scifi movies of many years ago. Our favorite DVD had been The Body Snatchers. We, hoped this would not be the case. Finally, we came to the conclusion, it would be best if we left with Hajim. We sent a representative, William De Long, he had the most experience, he had been a nuclear scientist before the Russians and Chinese bombed us. We of course reciprocated in kind. There were no survivors in Russia at all. To the best of our knowledge, now that Hajim had told us that we were the lone survivors of earth. Bill, also had worked in Area 51, in Roswell, New Mexico; where we had taken shelter; Hiding in caves or nuclear shelters. The rest of us, thought Bill, would have a better way to communicate, with Hajim. He left that morning, not returning until late evening.

“I have been inside the ship. I asked how he planned to transport us. We require oxygen,

he requires Nitrogen. He gave me a tour of the ship, showed me their equipment; it was far

advanced. I'm not sure they mean us harm, but I'm sure they have a plan for us. I suggest

for now, we do whatever Hajim dictates.”

The survivors knew they would be safer with Hajim than on earth; there was no nuclear waste to worry about. The following morning, Bill returned to the ship, informed Hajim that the survivors were willing to do whatever was necessary to be evacuated from earth. The ten survivors huddled closely together, seeking each others warmth. Since the nuclear bombs had fallen; the earth had become a horribly cold wasteland. The following morning, Hajim prepared nitrogen chambers for the ten of us. We marched into the ship. Hajim, was very welcoming. He explained the procedure that we would endure, for our journey of several billion miles.

Nitrogen, is a very cold component, basically we were now frozen in time. The ship lifted off, we were bound for our new home, Balaja. Time, seemed to be nonexistent, we were in an unconscious state until we reached Balaja. Hajim, quietly docked his ship. He left the nitrogen flowing to keep us suspended in time, until whatever fate befell us. We felt nothing, least wise there was no pain. Hajim, reported to his superior, Baja:

“I have ten human specimens. They are very diverse, the easiest to converse with is Bill.

He appears to have a grasp of what is happening. The others, are typical humans, no

extra brain cells.”

Baja, nodded, his golden eye taking in all the information Hajim had.

“We, will thaw them today Hajim. Have the silver melted and brought here. We have

a great need for workers in the Litim minds.

“Is that what you plan to do with them, that will kill them.”

“That is the plan, Hajim. You will do as you are ordered and now.”

“Yes, Baja.”

Hajim, had given his word, no harm would come to them, he could not at this precise moment stop Baja. Hajim, made himself a promise, that once the survivors were silverized, he would help them to revolt, but only when the time was right.

Hajim, began the process of equalizing the oxygen with the nitrogen. The melted silver; all was ready. Hajim, knew that if the silver was thin enough, the survivors brains would remain in tact and Baja would never know. Hajim, opened Dr. William De Long's capsule, he pumped the nitrogen into his body, with enough oxygen to keep his brain functioning.

“Doctor De Long, you must listen. Baja, wants to turn the ten of you into a form of creature,

that are not high functioning beings. I am not going to allow that to happen. I am going to a leave a larger

amount of oxygen in the nitrogen. When the time is right all of Balaja will revolt.”

Doctor William De Long PHD. watched in horror as Hajim began the process of converting him and the others to silver eyes. The process he noted was essentially simple. The first one to be silverized, a process which covered the entire individual, oddly enough it covered one eye only. Once the process was completed the ten were sent to the Litim mines. There were creatures there, from the lowly hemmper to the silver eye, noted Bill De Long. They were being held captive in the mines. The hemmpers, were forced labor, reminded Bill of a cross between a gorilla and a wooly mammoth. The hemmpers, were not overly intelligent; and providing Hajim, kept his word, the ten still had their brains in tact.

Hajim, left that high day to organize the revolt that was now being planned. He just hoped that Baja did not suspect anything. Hajim knew that Balaja justice was quick and unmerciful. He did the math over and over in his mind to be sure with the ten that he had enough followers to do what they all knew had to be done. Baja, had to be taken down, otherwise Balaja would not survive.

The Revolt

Hajim, entered the cave, his face hidden. He saw Bill De Long first. He went over and knelt over him. He was aghast at the sight. The ten were not recognizable to Hajim at first. They were hungry, tired, beaten humans. Hajim, once again attempted to awaken Bill:

“Please, Bill, wake up. The revolt is about to begin, but I need your help along with the other

nine. If we are caught we will be disintegrated. We must act now.”

Bill, roused the others, including the hemmper. Slowly, they moved toward the way Hajim had showed them. They followed closely. Once they were out of the mines, Hajim quickly led them to a small clearing, where all forms of creatures awaited. Hajim, asked Bill if he had any idea of how to overthrow, their enemy Baja. Hajim, revealed then how the entire planet had been oppressed. He told them of a time when Balaja was a beautiful place, with plant and animal life, now Baja had ruined it, the rebels wanted it back. Bill, knew then that Hajim had not lied, as the silver began to drip off the ten's bodies. The humans began to find sticks that could become spears, rocks that could be thrown. Hajim produced a technological wonder, stinger rays. It appeared to be a pistol type thing, that when used correctly could stun and then fry their foes. Now it was just a matter of a day, before Balaja would become a battleground. The enemy as Bill De Long discovered was a computer that had run a muck. Hajim, also informed Bill, that the brain was the computer, and it had created Baja.

“Hajim, there is one of the ten who is a computer specialist, could you give her the knowledge

required to possibly disarm Baja?”

Hajim, gave that a moments reflexion:

“Will you ask for me?”

Bill De Long, strode toward Melody De Long his daughter:

“Melody, Baja is a computer, if we can find a way to take control of it, Balaja will once

again have peace. Do you think that you can take control?”

“Dad, I need to look at the brain of the computer before I can answer that.”

“Yes, I understand that, we need to give Hajim some hope. He saved us twice.”

“When do I leave?”

“Hajim, will escort you to where the brain is. He will stand guard with several hemmpers.”

“I am ready now.”

“God go with you Melody, I love you to the moon and back.”

Several selicons later, Hajim strode over, Bill De Long began:

“Hajim, this is my daughter Melody. Please keep her safe and guard her well.”

“I will guard her with my entire being. In the interim Doctor De Long, please have everyone

ready to move at a moments notice. We must have the element of surprise or we will


Melody followed in Hajim's foot steps just as she was instructed. She hoped she had enough knowledge to bring this entire plan to fruition, their very lives depended on it. Miliselcons later, they found themselves in front of a humongous cave. Hajim, paused motioning for Melody to do the same:

“This is where Baja's brain is stored. He is never here, however there is an alarm that sounds if

anything attempts to enter this cave. I am not exactly sure how to disconnect and retract the

monitors. That is why there are no guards. I am not even sure how to breech the area.”

Melody, thought about other computers she had taken out that had a brain. Her work at NASA had brought her into contact with several brains.

“Hajim, is there a tunnel near by. How does Baja run? I think we can do this if we are very


Hajim nodded his agreement.

“We may be able to wait until the fourth sun has gone down, then it will be totally dark.”

Melody, with a look of concern began:

“How long will that be?”

Hajim, tried to break their time down to the equivalent of earth time:

“I believe in several of your earth hours. Perhaps it would be wise if we rest here until that


Melody, stretched out under what she thought was a tree, suddenly Hajim yanked her off the tree, as it began to twist.

“That tree is not a tree Melody, that is a very hungry Limeatopoless, it is more animal that

plant. I promised your parent I would keep you safe. I did not mean to scare you.”

Melody smiled and thanked Hajim. He seated her under an actual tree, then sat beside her. Hajim, every time he looked at her was drawn to her, this however was not a good time for either of them. This part of the revolt had to succeed or Balaja would still be ruled by Baja, and the entire force of revolutionaries would be exterminated.

Hajim awoke Melody, the hemmpers were lumbering along hoping to distract the thing that protected the brain. Hajim and Melody held their respective breaths. The hemmpers, were all disintegrated in less time than it took to blink an eye. They needed a different plan. Hajim had no idea there were gigantic worker antus in the cave, until he heard a noise, turned finding himself and Melody at their mercy. Baja, walked calmly from the cave to where Hajim and Melody stood:

“So, Hajim, my trust in you has been betrayed? Perhaps I will make this human creature my

mate. She is to my liking.”

His long blue tongue flecked over Melody's face. Hajim, hoped against hope that Bill De Long and the others would arrive very quickly. He had released a signal to Bill a seconlin before they were captured. Time was now of the essences, or they would all perish. Baja, motioned the antus to move out and return to the cave.

The antus, had just entered the cave, when there was an explosion that rocked the entire planet, almost knocking it off its axis. Bill De Long, was a man of his word. Hajim was thankful that he was. Baja, began firing at the area where the explosion appeared to come from. Hajim, took the opportunity, to retrieve his stinger gun. He aimed at Baja, a bright glow began as Baja, disintegrated.


“Okay, Hajim, you fight as a human does; you certainly seem human under that golden eye.

Now that the revolution is over, how about the whole truth.”

Hajim, took Melody's hand:

“Melody, you are correct, but only partially, my Father was a human being, an astronaut.

My Mother was a high princess of the Balaja. Therefore, I am half human and half Balajan.

The gold will soon leave my body forever. I will rule fairly for everyone, I believe my

Father used the democracy. I wish to enlist the aid of the ten survivors to aid me in

doing this.”

Melody and Bill De Long along with the other eight survivors gave Hajim a round of applause. Hajim however paid a price for the democracy he believed was correct for Balaja. He collapsed and died in Melody's arm. His body then transformed into a golden man

September 24, 2020 18:52

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Jade Young
19:58 Oct 04, 2020

This is an interesting story Sue😊 The narrative style worked well with the story you portrayed, but I felt like a little more showing rather than telling would've really elevated your story to the next level to make the reader's heart race while reading your thriller. But you had some great plot points that had me fearing for the humans lives, and then sympathising with poor Hajim at the end of it all. Overall, it was an enjoyable read😉❤


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L.A. Nolan
03:11 Sep 29, 2020

Very interesting read Sue. Well done!


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