Embellishments on the Memory Wall

Submitted into Contest #37 in response to: Write a story about a valuable object that goes missing.... view prompt

55 comments

Mystery Drama

Materialism. It's "a tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values", or so the online dictionary says. But what if an object is so important to one that they would sacrifice any and/or all of their loved ones for it? Does that label them as materialistic? How much importance can you give to an object before being slammed into the tiny, almost inescapable cage of materialism? Society gives no second thought to calling one materialistic, yet some of them don't look at their own lives and realize that the definition of materialistic they're using for others applies to themselves too. Maybe that's why Story was so hesitant showing her intense urge to turn the world upside down looking for her necklace.

A necklace? Maybe that makes her materialistic in your mind. Sure, there are important things that people really care about, but a necklace? It isn't a lie that necklaces are of much less importance than other objects, but this necklace... this necklace meant the world to Story. Yes, it was the last thing she had left from her parents before they died. The backstory to the necklace might've been cliche, but that didn't lessen her love for it by even a bit.

Speaking of the necklace, it wasn't anything intricate. An ivory pearl the size of a baby's fingernail hung suspended from a thin, gleaming silver chain. Even still, it meant the world to Story. As if it was the universe instead of a small pearl hanging on that chain.

Story was a petite, rosy baby when the orphanage found her on the cobblestone doorstep, the necklace tangled through her plump fingers. She'd lived in the orphanage ever since and was soon to turn eighteen and leave the place anyway.

The orphanage was completely terrible. Well, not the orphanage. It gave decent meals, the beds were comfortable, and the building was clean. They got basic clothes and even got allowances, which they could save up for more expensive things of their own. It was more like the people there were terrible. For starters, the teachers and headmaster had no hesitation to taunt kids. They only controlled the kids while the kids were in their presence, and when the kids were unsupervised, chaos broke loose from the teachers' handcuffs. Story didn't even know how she survived break every day.

She and the other older kids were forced to watch over the younger ones, all of whom took the greatest delight in pulling strands of Story's shoulder-length silky hair. By the time she staggered out of the preschool classrooms, it seemed as though she had a chestnut cloud floating around her head, curly and tangled.

Story had been saving up on money for almost her whole life. She had more than a thousand dollars in her bank account that Headmaster Liam had created for her. Every orphan got a bank account, and when they were eighteen they could take all the money out to leave to wherever they wanted to. It was a simple and sometimes pleasuring life.

Until the sunny morning Story reached under the mattress and felt-nothing. The necklace was gone. She groped around but couldn't feel the familiar roundness of the pearl or the delicate chain. Frantically, Story opened her drawer in the common girls' dresser, then searched through the other drawers. No necklace.

Subconsciously, Story pulled at her pale fingers. Where was her necklace? Maybe her best friend, Lachlan, would help her find it. The clicking of the headmaster's dress shoes on the polished floors alerted Story. Ah, yes. She was supposed to be in class. With a slender hand on her chest to still her breathing, Story was now crouched behind the creaky staircase. After the hollow clicks faded into the distance of the wood-boarded halls, she furtively walked out and to class.

Lachlan was an avid class goer unlike Story, who skipped at her own pleasure. Class had never been important to Story; she learned all the important knowledge from real life anyways. She was more of a kinesthetic learner, learning by doing. Story tapped on the heavy door with her knuckles and leaned on it, annoyed at whoever was supposed to open the door. Finally, the door opened and she stumbled inside. Oh. Nice entrance, Story. The whole class stared at Story with wide eyes before the teacher rapped on the desk with a ruler, signaling them to look at their books once again.

Story plopped down in the chair beside Lachlan and haphazardly scribbled a note with an almost blindingly yellow pencil. I lost my necklace and looked everywhere, help me find it. She stealthily slipped the note to him under the desk and looked down at the thick book lying in front of her with a yawn. What subject was it? Oh, geography. Her best subject. Lachlan always teased her, for the only class Story paid attention in was geography. She secretly loved imagining the beautiful cities and landscapes the teacher's words illustrated.

A tap on her shoulder woke her up to the real world. Lachlan shoved a note onto Story's lap with a frustrated look on his face, no doubt from his several attempts to gain her attention. She opened it to see, in lopsided scrawls, Okay, after class. Story inwardly groaned at the thought of having to sit through a whole class, yet the annoyance was softened at the realization it was geography class.

After an hour of listening to the teacher spouting irrelevant information, the bell rang and the students clattered out of the classroom. Story and Lachlan walked around the entire building, searching in every corner, every piece of furniture. To their avail, no necklace was found.

Story sank onto the bench during the break, tears sliding down her tanned cheeks. It couldn't have gone anywhere else; she would just have to accept the loss of the only thing she had left from her parents. Lachlan comfortingly rubbed her back in circles, soothing her despair.

Time went by. The earth kept turning. The sun kept rising and setting. The sky stayed blue. The grass stayed green. Children still played. Adults still bossed. Nothing had changed except for Story's once light heart turning heavy, dripping with guilt and grief. As Story grew older, she realized that her sadness wouldn't get her anywhere. The world would still go by, unaware of the struggles its residents faced. She would just have to proceed ahead into the fog that blanketed what lay ahead of her without the necklace chaining her to the past. Though her most valuable object had been lost, the sweet memory of her parents would always embellish Story's inner wall of memories.

April 18, 2020 02:42

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55 comments

Zilla Babbitt
18:26 Apr 26, 2020

Hello! You asked me for feedback, so here I am. This story is so sweet and yet so sad. I'm actually glad she never found the necklace because a) it makes this more meaningful and b) I think she's learning there are other things in life besides things (even if that thing represents her past). I love the description you gave of how time went by... the sun keeps rising and setting etc. There are a few things that could be tweaked, however. It seems you spend a lot of time on her backstory, like what she looked like when she was found, and t...

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Laiba M
23:35 Apr 26, 2020

Thank you so much for all the feedback! It means so much to me that you decided to check my story out! I'll work on these kinds of things in the future, I usually tend to go really descriptive on the physical appearance and certain parts of my stories. Again, thank you so much, Zilla! I appreciate that you took the time to give me constructive criticism! :)

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Zilla Babbitt
01:03 Apr 27, 2020

Yes of course!

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Avani G
20:51 Apr 30, 2020

Hi, Laiba! I loved this story! I don't mean to rush the writing process or anything, but when do you plan to post that story with my name in it? I'm really looking forward to it! Although your stories never get old, I am really looking forward for your next story! Lemme know when you publish it. I'm looking forward! 😊

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Laiba M
21:51 Apr 30, 2020

Hey Avani! Thanks a ton, friend :D I am planning on posting it today/early tomorrow, sorry for the delay :)

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Avani G
22:32 Apr 30, 2020

It's ok, just curious!

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Laiba M
22:49 Apr 30, 2020

Thanks for understanding 😊

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Avani G
17:38 Apr 28, 2020

Hey, Laiba! Do you mind if I use your name in one of my upcoming stories?

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Laiba M
17:39 Apr 28, 2020

Nope, don't mind at all! You can use my full name on here OR my first name :)

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Avani G
17:42 Apr 28, 2020

Then can I have your last name please?

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Laiba M
18:27 Apr 28, 2020

Well, you can say M. just like my account does, sorry if you wanted my full name but I'm not comfortable putting that on a public site :(

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Avani G
18:56 Apr 28, 2020

That's totally ok!

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Laiba M
19:23 Apr 28, 2020

Thanks for understanding :)

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B. W.
20:09 Sep 15, 2020

Hey Laiba? i'm going to make a novel soon so could you go check out and leave feedback on "Universe" which is like a preview thing for it but its only chapter 1 and a bit of chapter 2

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B. W.
01:09 Nov 25, 2020

uh, do ya wanna talk about it on here for the new thread?

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Laiba M
01:12 Nov 25, 2020

Sure~ I'm nervous to hear what you think, since my art is... really... bad T-T

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B. W.
01:14 Nov 25, 2020

Well, i think it was really good and kind of cute in a way ^^ they were sort of chibi in a way

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Laiba M
01:16 Nov 25, 2020

:) Thank youu~! I try to go for a very doll-like look as I told you, with long, spidery eyelashes, button noses, round heads, full lips, and rounder details on the body :D

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B. W.
01:18 Nov 25, 2020

I don't think i have any critique or anything like that, I just liked it ^^ though question, did ya say you had another art style besides that doll like thing?

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Laiba M
01:31 Nov 25, 2020

First of all, sorry for delaying it T-T I had exams week the week that the "deadline" was set for and had too much work to do... So I was only able to work on it a few minutes every few days :( Yeah, although that is only for faces and portraits. not bodies.

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Laiba M
01:16 Nov 25, 2020

Any critique, though?

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B. W.
05:04 Oct 29, 2020

I have no idea if ive checked this out or not, but I'll still give this a 10/10 because you still did a great job with it :)

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Laiba M
12:56 Oct 29, 2020

Thanks!!

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B. W.
14:57 Oct 29, 2020

No prob ^^

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Laiba M
12:57 Oct 29, 2020

Favorite part? Any advice? What did you think about the storyline and/or concept?

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B. W.
14:57 Oct 29, 2020

not really, i liked the whole thing and I suck at giving advice :/

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Laiba M
18:17 Oct 29, 2020

Hmm, then what did you think about the storyline or concept?

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B. W.
18:20 Oct 29, 2020

i thought that it was really good ^^

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Batool Hussain
11:21 Jun 21, 2020

Good story! Mind checking my recent story out? Thanks.

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Laiba M
11:52 Jun 21, 2020

Hey Batool! No problem, will do! And congratulations on getting on the leaderboard!

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Batool Hussain
11:56 Jun 21, 2020

Thank you so much Laiba! Waiting for you to get on the Leaderboard too;)

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Laiba M
12:01 Jun 21, 2020

No problem and thank you, it's tough to do so. Good job!! Also, do you mind recommending me to other readers on here? I'll do the same for you! If not, no problem :) Be sure to read Daryl Gravesande's and Rhondalise Mitza's stories!

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Batool Hussain
12:05 Jun 21, 2020

I don't know many people around here! I usually check stories of people on the leaderboard or the people who comment on different stories. So, no one in particular. I checked Rhondalise's stories already and I'll be happy to check Daryl's stories too:) Also, can you please spread the word amongst the readers to read my stories and I'll be happy to do the same for you. In fact, I'll mention you in my bio!

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Laiba M
12:29 Jun 21, 2020

Alright! That makes sense, I do the same :) I'll put your name in my bio too, thanks!!

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Sam T.
20:08 Apr 30, 2020

I enjoyed reading this story.... and i like your writing :)

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Laiba M
21:50 Apr 30, 2020

Aw, thanks Sam! I like your writing too, keep on creating the amazing work =)

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Sam T.
14:48 May 01, 2020

Thanks💜💜

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