Listening as a hobby

One of my favorite hobbies is being a mindful creative listener. Although I don't think listening is usually considered to be a hobby, I think it is one of the most insightful things I can do. In today's fast paced world it seems that people in general would rather talk than listen. I feel that by being a good listener I can learn many things And do good for myself and others. I learn about different approaches to life, mistakes to avoid,,traps not to fall in and to value myself and my ideas, thoughts and opinions. I have always been searching for good role models and a way to get ahead and live a better more joyful life. Hearing the stories of others joys and sorrows helps me do this. Like about hearing somebody talk about overcoming great obstacles and crawling out of a deep well of problems and how they went on to make a success of their lives is very inspirational. I feel like if they can do it so can I. It gives me hope. Listening is good for me. When I am absorbed in the story of another person, my focus is on them and not myself. I feel myself relax and let go of my daily problems. Mindful listening lets me let go of my past for awhile and not worry about the future. I feel my body relax as I lean back with a cup of coffee and an attentive ear.I focus on the other person and time slows as I am fully present to the moment. If someone asks me I will give them advice. I will help them if I can if I have been in their shoes before. When I hear advice from them it can give me a different perspective on my problems. We all come from such different backgrounds and have so many stories. By talking about our problems instead of just keeping them to ourselves, good is done. People love to be heard. It makes them feel understood and validated.. Having a helpful ear can make a big difference in someone's life and can make them feel less lonely. I like to listen for these reasons and feel that I have made a good difference in someone's life. It is fun to get to know people from different backgrounds and people with different perspectives and lifestyles. Different things come up that I hadn't thought of before. Differen't ways of handling things. Some people talk to the professional listeners like councillers and psychologists and lifestyle coaches for dealing with major life decisions or problems. I think that is the smartest and best thing to do. Just medicating and not talking things out will not solve the problem but might just prolong it. With the problem of Covid, there is so much more isolation. I think it is so much important now to keep our interactions and conversations positive. The few people that a person gets a chance to talk to during a day are so limited that you might be the only one you talked to that day so it's important to keep positive and keep kind. The conversation sets the tone of the whole day. Some conversations are harder like talking with or rather listening to a narcissist. The me me me is hard to take. I personally try to avoid narcissists but when I do talk to them I try to remember they are very insecure in themselves and that being the way they are is just how they handle it. It is interesting talking to people in codependent relationships. It strikes me that they don't see the other person as the problem but think that it is they themselves that are the problem. I try to tell them to be good to themselves and take good care of themselves before anything else. They are so often trapped in their world that they can't see things as they are. They are dominated by someone by the words they hear. "Listen to me!" They hear as they get manipulated. Having a patient listener can help them see that they deserve better and should not allow themselves to be controlled. It is very important to be a good listener at work so you get your job right. A boss does not like to have to repeat something or have the job not turn out right. We need to pay full attention. There are the peaceful sounds of nature, a waterfall, birds in the morning a crackling fire that make a person so relaxed and at ease. Music is also something that is a natural tranquilizer. Listening can go beyond using your ears. Sometimes we listen with our eyes. A persons face and body posture can tell a lot. Eyes that won't meet you directly says the person may be lying. The shrinking away in fear. The pushing forward of anger are all telling things. A joyful bubbling of excitement is fun to see and hear. We listen with intuition trying to see the needs of another. Listening to a child to see how you can help them. Listening with confidence as you try to aliviate a persons fear. We look beyond the obvious to try to get a feel from them of what they need. Some people are good hiders and won't really open up about what is bothering them. But if the speaker feels your full attention they will feel like you are really there for them and will come to give you their trust. It is very important to be a very discrete listener because a confidence is an honor given. I would not want to betray that trust. We all need someone we can trust. Nothing feels worse than finding out that something you said in confidence leaked out. Words are very powerful. The way something is presented makes a big difference. I took a class once Language as Power. I learned that in fields like politics and advertising there are words that specifically can influence. Snarl words make someone get worked up and try to change things. Purr words make things sound appealing and lovely. Words can create doubt like the "Alleged Victim". Words can make one story 2 versions that sound totally different. The words in advertising can make something silly that you really sound like something you can't live without. A child's toy or a cooking pot for 19.95 will change your life forever, supposedly. When we listen to someone persuade us of something we should do it with an open mind but also a healthy dose of skepticism. When I think back on the loved ones I have lost I think oh what I wouldn't give for a five minute conversation with them. Parents need to be good listeners for their children. They are their first and primary sounding boards. Children need someone to go to with their problems hopes and dreams. I think listening requires a kind heart, a lively curiosity, a desire to help others and a strong desire to learn about life. .