Goodbye

“Goodbye Jay.” A man with jet black hair, green eyes, and stood at 5”11 said to the man who had copper hair brown eyes, and stood at 5”5.

“Goodbye Carson.” Jay leaned in and up to kiss Carson. Carson leaned down to welcome their last kiss. As they parted jay looked around and took everything in. They were on a bridge with a rushing river below. Their peers were known to go by the river and sneak a few beers.

Carson took jays hand and they jumped into the river together.

Carson snuck up to jay and gave him a loving behind hug with a strong squeeze. They were at school their first day of junior year. Jay turned around and kissed his loving man on the cheek. They had been together for a year now and had a say of finding each other at the school with ease.

“Fags!” A guy yelled as he walked by into the school. Jay shrugged Carson’s arms off of him and started walking into the school. Carson followed along.

“You can’t let them get to you like that.” Carson kept his voice soft to try and pull Jay back out of his shell.

”It’s not that it gets to me. It’s not that one thing. What it is, is that I wake up every day knowing I’m going to be hated for being myself. I know that I make people sick for being myself. I have had my family turn their backs on me because I am not who they wanted. Being called a fag is nothing but a reminder that who I am is not ok to just about everybody.” Jay gave out his speech with a red face.

”It will get better. People are just assholes in high school. It’s just how it’s always been.” Carson smiled at Jay hoping it was a form of comfort. Jay smiled back and they separated for their classes.

Jay went into wood work while Carson went to U.S history. They weren’t to see each other again until lunch time. After the first class Jay went to English while Carson went to weights class. It will be after this that they have lunch. Their school was set up with four classes each day and it went A day, B day. It gave the students more time in each class and didn’t over fill them with the lessons of each day. It was a method that was being used in their school for years.

Once lunch rolled around Jay and Carson met up at the front of the school. The students were given an hour for lunch and permission to leave the school to grab food if they wished. Carson took Jay by the hand and lead him to a near by gas station. On the walk they talked about their day so far and the homework they had been given. At the gas station they god stocked up in coke and chips. Carson payed for them and they held hands on their walk back to the school. Carson was always a bit more of the manly man of the relationship. Not that Jay was girly but Carson definitely likes taking the lead in things and Jay was more submissive.

after lunch they separated for classes again. After that Jay took a bus to the place he was staying and Carson lived close enough to the school he was able to walk home. Jay sat in the back of the bus and watched as people started filling up the seats. Jay then felt someone sit down next to him. Looking over he saw a girl with natural red hair and blue eyes. She had a black shirt on and a brown leather jacket. She smiled at him but didn’t say anything. After a few seconds he turned back to the window as the doors to the bus squeaked shut and they started moving.

”your Jay right?” The voice sounded welcoming and Jay just Nodded. “How does it feel knowing your family would rather forget your existence, than to accept the fact their son is a fag?”

she laughed and then moved over to a different seat. Jay could hear a few minutes people laughing but he ignored it. The first stop the bus made Jay grabbed his bag and got off the bus. He started walking to Carson’s house like Jay tends to do when he is struggling with almost anything. It was a 20 minute walk for Jay but once he was greeted with a white door that was Carson’s house he knocked and waited for anyone to answer. Carson’s mother answered and allowed Jay to step in. She was a supportive and caring woman who pushed Jay to be more opened about himself and who he is. He didn’t blame her for anything in his life going down hill but he did wish he didn’t open up to his family about him being gay. Jay went to Carson’s room and didn’t bother knocking he just walked in and jumped into the bed. Carson was at his desk working on homework. He looked at Jay and smiled.

”Ah, yes. Come on in. I do have an open door policy till nine.” Carson joked.

”I don’t want to do this anymore.” Jay was holding back tears and Carson stopped working on his school work and turned to his boy.

”is that your pathetic way of breaking up with me?” Carson tried to spin it to sound like a joke but he did have a since of worry in his voice.

“I mean live. I can’t depend on solely you for everything and I don’t have anyone else. I can’t keep up with life anymore.” Jay was a bit surprised he could say it all. Carson seemed lose for words. They just sat their staring at each other.

”I wouldn’t be able to live without you Jay.” Carson finally said breaking the silence.

”we can do it together than. We can go and jump of the bridge.” Jays voice had a calm voice. Carson nodded and wrote a note to his mother saying sorry and then took Jays hand.

they walked to the bridge and they said their goodbyes.

dear mom,

what I have done I know is drastic. I want you to know I love you and it wasn’t your fault. You are a saint and I want you to keep being you. Don’t change because I am gone. Don’t question yourself as a parent. I just want you to know I love you and I will always be watching over you.

Love Carson.